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IAmA prostitute/escort/call-girl/whathaveyou. AMA.
I do not have any STI's and I never do bareback. Ever. I get tested every 5 weeks. This answer seems to have been hidden in the comments, but I have answered it several times.
chessboardmulgrew904 karma
Yes. I don't work everyday as I don't need that much money and there aren't always jobs (I rent a room quite cheap and don't spend much money generally) - but that does mean that when a job comes up, I do really have to take it. It could be I have plans with friends in the evening and a 2 hour job comes up which I really can't afford to turn down, or just a bad day but I have rent due - I try not to turn down any jobs unless they seem dodgy or the guy is trying to take the piss. It can be a bit much sometimes.
chessboardmulgrew642 karma
My friends all know, they just see it as 'what Chess does' but do take it seriously if anything goes wrong. A couple I didn't tell for quite a while, but after long explanations, they accepted it.
chessboardmulgrew1149 karma
Bareback a hell of a lot. Often bondage but that's not untypical. I've had some bizarre ones, a guy who came to London for the Olympics and wanted me to wear a UK flag (?!?!), guy who wanted to wrap me in clingfilm and take pictures on his balcony, some nutter who wanted to pay £8000 (and yes, that's three 0's) to do a rape session in the woods... That was a no, by the way.
wiresandwaves445 karma
Do you have any tricks to stay safe? How do you know the guys who call you are interested in sex and not in something more sinister? What is the weirdest fetish you've encountered?
chessboardmulgrew803 karma
I always check for feedback or something from another girl they've met before; on the main site I use for marketing there is a feedback system so I can see who is more legit.
I also make sure at least three people know where I am going to be, and if I haven't contacted them by a certain time they call the police. Luckily this has never had to be used as I drop that fact into any conversation with the client to make sure they know I have security.
For car meets which are no more than half an hour, I have someone waiting for me who can take down the registration plate of the car. If the client seems a little off, I let him know I've done this.
I never know. I just have to go with my gut instinct and if something seems wrong, I get the hell out of there. Weirdest fetish? I had a guy in London Bridge who wrapped me in clingfilm dresses and stood me on the balcony and took photos. I found it amusing, if truth be told.
JubilationLee363 karma
Respectfully, when did you realize that you were out of options and this was the last resort? Why did it have to come to this?
I'd be the "proof" guy, but I have no idea how that would even be possible here.
chessboardmulgrew887 karma
Proof was given here, but edited due to Mods confirming.
Long story short, I have no A levels due to severe illness compromising my studies, a year ago I broke up with someone I was living with and ended up sofa-surfing and occasionally in a station overnight, not a great period. About a month into this (family and I were estranged and without an address it was hard to get work and without work it was hard to get a home) a man I knew vaguely who also knew about my dilemma told me that if I slept with him, he'd pay me. I have no emotional ties to sex due to several incidents in my past, and saw it as a last resort. I then found AW (adultwork.com) and realised that if I priced myself a little higher than others, and was careful with how I wrote my ad and the feedback I was left, I'd attract "nicer" clients. This led to me finding a home, and finding a home meant that I was able to write, study in my own time, all that - without the onus of a 9-5. I have issues with organisation (dyspraxia) and find schedule and routine very difficult, so have continued to do this job until I have spent time learning, writing (I'm a book girl) and steadying my mind from the chaos I've had over the last few years.
JubilationLee104 karma
You can message a mod with that link or other proof to verify and edit this to take out. Thank you for answering!
I admire your fortitude. Is your life getting better now that you've been able to sort of stabilize? Are you putting yourself through school? What aspirations do you have for yourself, long-term? Thank you for doing this!
chessboardmulgrew236 karma
Thank you for telling me that! I'll do that.
My life has improved since I've stabilised - I messed up when I moved for a second time which put a bit downer on things (big neighbour issues) but since my most recent relocation, everything is on an up. I'm starting University next September which I got into by the portfolio I have been working on since I started working - wouldn't have had time or the energy to do it otherwise. Long-term, I want to be able to write. I'm an English Literature girl and have been writing all my life, but it is of course a very hard field to break into so takes a lot of time and effort.
Thank you for your response!
Gman777327 karma
-How many men gave you been with?
-Do you think this matters?
-Do you see men differently now?
chessboardmulgrew559 karma
I have no idea. Personal life and work life, same answer - more than 200 I'd have said but I'm not really sure.
I don't think this matters on one level - I think a woman, or a man for that matter, should have the right to do what s/he wishes with their body and the number of sexual partners one has had does not matter. However, I do wish that I hadn't been with so many men, but the way I see it is that it is now a little late to worry about it.
Yes, I do. I find it hard to appreciate that any man could want me for more than my body - I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who also works as an escort (M4M) so he can understand this, which I hope means hope isn't lost!
cuj46263 karma
When you say M4M, obviously this is jargon, but does this Man4man? If so, are you comfortable with your boyfriend 'escorting' other men?
chessboardmulgrew777 karma
Yes, it's man4man - we have a slightly abnormal relationship. He didn't know I 'escorted', I didn't know he did. We both told eachother early on, and we're doing it for the same reasons - I trust him completely. I have engaged in polyamorous relationships with absolutely no problem before, been in love within them, and given the nature of his intimacy with others, it isn't an issue. I just make him tea when he's had to bottom as he hates that, and he gives me peanut butter when I've had a bad job.
heckrat282 karma
You said you have intimacy/emotional issues from past experiences. I have often heard this from women who work in your industry as well as strip clubs. Do you feel they correlate? Also, when you decide to retire, will you tell your future SO about your past?
chessboardmulgrew378 karma
I have always had a self destructive side which was made worse after past incidents, which also opened up the sexual world of button:self-destruct. I have no ability to link sex and emotion now which means work is easy, relationships can be hard. They may correlate. I try to not think about it.
All my partners since I started 'work' have known about it. I wouldn't hide something that has been such a shaping part of my life, which could cause issues.
chessboardmulgrew495 karma
I actually don't often get sick! If I am ill, I let the client know I can't make it. Firstly, it's not really 'professional' to turn up ill as it could be contagious or just unattractive, and secondly, when I'm ill I don't often want to be poked at.
chessboardmulgrew378 karma
Get a call/email. Reply, check what they're looking for (oral/full sex, how long for, any special requests eg watersports. Get confirmation N ho before, go there. Normally it's mild BDSM or a GFE, sometimes hardcore BDSM. I 'settle up', do the job, smile and moan, leave.
chessboardmulgrew261 karma
Right now? Slate grey sky, looks chilly outside... So. Many. People.
ProjectFlashSociety92 karma
Life. Is this line of work a springboard or a decided permanent lifestyle?
chessboardmulgrew172 karma
Springboard. I definitely do not want to be doing this in my 20s.
chessboardmulgrew177 karma
Oh! There really is a subreddit for everything. I think I will! Thank you!
Tacozoid138 karma
- What was the most fascinating thing you came across?
- Did you ever fall in love? Thanks for doing this :)
chessboardmulgrew240 karma
Fascinating how? I have never fallen in love with a client. Two have claimed to have fallen for me, one I tried to be friends with as he was a fascinating man, the other was a run-away-fast situation.
chessboardmulgrew213 karma
Moving in with my partner who works as a male escort in Jan, along with another girl who also works as an escort - she's wonderful! One of my friends (f) has worked in this way once, another friend Graham occasionally does pro-Dom work.
mishiavelli121 karma
I read in comments above about your relationship - and while I can imagine you two are confronted occasionally with somewhat different relationship issues than the rest of us, that's really sweet and it makes me smile. I'm glad you both found someone understanding to your respective professions.
With your friends, is it like your typical coworker situation? Swapping horror stories about the job and all that?
chessboardmulgrew153 karma
Thank you, yes, can't believe how lucky I am.
With the friends who escort regularly, it is a bit of a joke topic. Regale silly stories. Advice on questionable clients which is good.
Ahrimanix67 karma
Did you choose this by yourself? Why? Do you want to do this you whole life?
chessboardmulgrew66 karma
I replied partially to JubliationLee on that - and no, I don't, but for now it works.
silverkiller47 karma
Do you have a work social life? I.e. do you know other escourts? Do you have watercooler chat? Joke about the industry?
Otherwise, do you ever discuss your work at all with others who are not in the industry?
chessboardmulgrew86 karma
My SO is an escort and I know two female escorts, both of whom are relatively good friends. Our girly chats are very X-rated.
I'm pretty open about my work. I wouldn't lie about it and if someone knew or it was relevant, I'd discuss it.
keanoo34 karma
Would you take work from Redditors? Not that I want to, just curious, sure you've had a load of PM's to the effect of that.
AH1770819 karma
Do you ever get good looking clients who you actually look forward to fucking or who genuinely please you?
fakelife2634 karma
Do you ever have days when you just don't want to do that but you still have clients and can't get out of it?
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