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I am a male with Breast Cancer. AMA.
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datguywith41 karma
So much this.
I come from Australia and over here cricket is huge they have this thing called "The Pink Test" and basically the whole cricket match is devoted to "Women with breast cancer" Not breast cancer research or just breast cancer in general "Women with breast cancer" it makes me so pissed off. And the fact the colour for breast cancer is pink annoys me too purple would be better in my book.
Saying that I do get that male breast cancer is a very small minority. But it still exists god damnit!
ValentineWiggen-2 karma
True... but the odds of a woman getting it would be more likely, one would think... what with the higher genetic tendency to have breasts.
Not to assume I know what the odds are of men vs. women contracting the cancer. Just an observation of the usual anatomy.
datguywith19 karma
higher genetic tendency to have breasts.
Hurr durr all humans have breast tissue. Men just have less (generally speaking).
I weighed 56kg when I was diagnosed and had a completely flat chest. My doctor said he had seen 2 other male breast cancer patients and both weighed more than double me and had noticeable man boobs. He also said the chances of me getting it were 1/10000. Serves me right for being born on Friday 13th
Edit: Chances of normal males getting it is 1/1000 can be increased if runs in family. Mine where low because I had less breast tissue.
ValentineWiggen2 karma
I'm not talking breast tissue. I'm talking just boobs. No science. Just what people see when they look at you.
Thusly, the women oriented breast cancer movements. I didn't say it was smart. I didn't say it was fair. I'm just saying that's probably why.
And I've known a disproportionate amount of people born on friday the 13th, for whatever reason. Seems lucky to me... I would hold out. I bet your luck is still coming.
RattleCan4210 karma
So no proof other than OP's word? Nobody has lied about cancer on the internet before.
datguywith5 karma
Live life then die. Don't like the idea of the surgery. My doctor said it was a terrible choice but I haven't had regrets yet. It's given me nothing to loose.
LascielCoin5 karma
So..you didn't have surgery? How old are you now and are you cancer free?
datguywith5 karma
Mid 20's. Think I still have it my doctor said that it was pointless seem him regularly if it wasn't getting to bad, so really I could be cancer free and not know it!
Edit: Sorry didn't answer the question. No I haven't had surgery.
datguywith1 karma
I do actually go a few times a year to see how it goes. Haven't been in a while though.
shufflepuck_cafe3 karma
How did your surroundings react when you told them you chose not to participate in any kind of treatment?
datguywith11 karma
It took them a long time for my family and friends to get over it especially my dad. But I just remember my grandmother who died from bowel cancer and how much pain the treatment put her in.
Saying that my closest friend has handled it really well and has been the only one who didn't freak out.
AgentASM2 karma
I completely respect your decision, and to each his own. But bowel cancer is a whole different beast than breast cancer. The type of cancer determines your treatment, and breast cancer is highly treatable (and sometimes curable), especially when caught early. Did your doctor at least go over statistics as far as survival with treatment vs without?
datguywith1 karma
I was using bowel cancer as just one example. Yeah the doctor was really great he went through everything and basically he said if I was lucky I could make it to around 35 without treatment and treatment was supposed to have a under 50% chance of success, if I was diagnosed at the same age in this day and age I probably would have had a much higher chance.
SpaZticHero3 karma
Why did you choose not to have surgery? You say you have nothing to lose by not having it, but your actually gambling with your life.
I'm very interested.
datguywith2 karma
I've seen the pain cancer treatment can cause. Also I've realised how fucked up life is. The one thing I do think about is the fact I'll never have kids or a wife. But I love the people close to me and want them to see me enjoy my last time on this earth instead of in pain in a hospital bed. What I mean by it's given me nothing to loose is because it'll probably kill me I'm not going to have to live with bad decisions or things not turning out well I used to be so afraid of fucking things up I wouldn't do anything, if anything it's made me more healthy than ever before because now I'm not afraid of going to the gym or playing sports and fucking up. And don't get me started on women ;)
SpaZticHero3 karma
But it's only surgery. Not Chemotherapy.
If they remove the growth, there is a decent chance that you won't have to go through the awful struggle alot of these people do. Surely its worth a shot, do you not think?
datguywith0 karma
My doctors initial recommendation war that I should probably get surgery and then get chemotherapy.
Order66_Survivor1 karma
I have seen patients for palliative and alternative care for cancer because many of them feel the same way you do. Do you treat yourself through lifestyle changes such as diet/exercise/Eastern Medicine?
datguywith0 karma
Never bought into the "eastern medicine" but I have a good diet and defiantly exercise a lot.
Hoof_Hearted124 karma
No question, just a few well-wishes from me. Any cancer is shite, and I can't imagine having to deal with ignorami who don't know breast cancer can affect males. Good luck to you, all the best in your treatments!
Uitklapstoel2 karma
I have a lump uner my left nipple aswell. I've been told that when it's a tumor it shouln't hurt, and mine does (when touch/pinching it).
More people told me its normal, but im still concerned. should I get it checked out?
TexasWalkerRanger2 karma
i do NOT mean this in a funny way:
do u feel awkward ? when i hear breast cancer i picture the poor ladies having to deal with it. but a guy?
all the best dude
datguywith0 karma
I did initially but I have come to terms with it. It has made me hate feminists more fucking men get your shit to.
rajondurant2 karma
Have you been scrutinized by your family and friends for this? e.g. what has the reaction been from people when you tell them you have breast cancer.
datguywith5 karma
The first time I brought up the fact that I thought something was wrong my mother laughed. But since then it's been alright mostly people are shocked that it can happen to men.
NotReallyARealAccont2 karma
How do you feel that most anti-breast cancer charity's are setup for women, not men? Also, good luck, I wish you all the best.
datguywith2 karma
Don't mind if there not "Raising awareness for WOMEN with breast cancer" that always pisses me off like. That's just like going let's only try and stop AIDS in some countries in Africa!
Edit: Although I would be ecstatic to see one directed at men make an visible impact somewhere.
dondon131 karma
So I don't understand how did you find out you have breast cancer? And I don't mean for this to come off mean, but I don't know how to phrase this nicely. Do you have moobs? Also why wouldn't you have a surgery? You're in your mid 20's?? You could have a much longer life with the surgery couldn't you? Why wouldn't you do the surgery? Cuz your doctor said you don't need to? Get a second opinion for fucks sake.
datguywith0 karma
I first noticed a bump under my left nipple did a little research thought I should go to a GP who referred me to get a fine needle biopsy see demoo's coment. No at the time I was a little underweight even. The doctor's gave all the facts I needed and their opinion the doctor did say I needed if I wanted the best chance of survival but it isn't about survival it's about what you do with the time that counts.
datguywith1 karma
I handle it well I suppose I do realise how much of a minority is so I'm fine with people say things like "Really I didn't know men could get it" A couple of people said straight up "don't believe you" with them I just walk away they are a waste of my time.
I did know it existed before I was diagnosed but I was really surprised that it actually happened it was all quite surreal the first few weeks. I had a breakdown on my birthday the first year that lasted for a while but now I'm much more confident about it and I've made peace with it.
moneymet1 karma
Has this emotionally affected you more because of the Women Breast Cancer Charity than your cancer it self?
datguywith1 karma
I emotionally avoid things because hey what's the point in worry if you're going to die soon. I had a breakdown when I was first diagnosed but after that I haven't really felt emotionally effected by it. I tend to push more insignificant things to the front like the female dominated breast cancer charities.
techiebabe29 karma
Does it annoy you that events such as Race for Life are just for women? I know people who take part in such events and they spend time decorating their bra in pink, etc... I always want to say 'but men can get breast cancer too'.
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