I'm comedian Kevin Pollak and I'm in the middle of directing a documentary about famous funny fuckers called Misery Loves Comedy. AMA!

Mornin', fuckers! Hope this coffee works...

Love you on o&a. But what do you have against broadcasting legend primetime sam roberts. I hear there is tension

There's no tension. I love o&a and Jimmy, I just can't stand the fucking sound of Sam Roberts' voice. O&A and Jimmy are both in the documentary I'm filming. They talk about it for about 15 minutes and it's fucking amazing.

UPDATE:

Alright everybody, thanks for the mostly great questions. That's it for today. For those of you that sucked, the rest of us now know. Thanks so much.

Did I just see you in an Eastern Motors commercial? WTF was that?

Yeah. Everyone's got a number. Mine is ridiculous. They said yes.

On the set of Grumpy Old Men who was funnier Walter Matthau or Jack Lemmon?

Matthau. He said on the sequel, when he met Sophia Loren for the very first time, "Great to meet you, love to eat you."

Hello, Mr. Pollak! Thanks for doing this! I don't have a question sir, but I am donating $5 to your Kickstarter because of this gem: "Fuck your father in the shower and then have a snack? Are you going to charge me dickhead?" Best of luck and take care!

You are my hero. Everyone else can suck it.

How many times have you gotten laid just because your Kevin Pollack?

3 times

Hey fucker...knock it off. It's only twice.

My dad went to school with you. He made the whole family watch willow when I was a kid just to tell us that he knew you. Oh and that you were one of the funniest guys in high school. I still fucking love willow..... Edit: How awesome is Lewis Black to talk to?

Weird, because I think your dad beat me up. Once. And Lewis Black is by far one of my favorites thus far. Genius.

Boss Vic Koss is an asshole!

He certainly is. Nice fucking comb-over, jack off.

Did they use real money on the Million Dollar Money Drop?

Yes they did. I tried to steal some. It was harder than I thought.

If you had imitate one of the following for a full week, Arkin, Walken or Shatner, who would you choose? In my opinion, all Shatner imitations are imitations of your Shatner!

Walken. I could dance in those shoes and no other shoes for a couple of months...before they take me away. If you're in LA, I'll be doing a live, on-stage recording of my podcast (where I ramble as Christopher Walken for an hour...also available on iTunes...) "The talkin' Walkin'" at the Westside comedy theater. Say "Pollak sucks" at the box office...

Which single comedian do you really dislike (as a person).

As a follow up, which comedian do you just find not funny at all?

Ann Coulter. That bitch rarely makes me laugh.

What is your favorite Christopher Walken SNL skit?

The Continental by far.

How hard was it to understand Benecio Del Toro on the usual suspects? I still have a hard time, every time I watch it.

In the lockup scene, when my character says "What the fuck did he just say?", I wasn't acting and the director chose to leave it in the film. Not kidding.

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The Usual Suspects. When I met Stephen Baldwin, he was wearing leather pants. He hadn't arrived on a motorcycle...or a horse. He was just wearing leather pants.

just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs and fantastic parts you've played. means a lot.

Finally. I've been waiting to hear from you, you son of a bitch. You're the one.

Who do you think is the funniest "New" comedian?

I just interviewed him actually. Kumial Nanjini.

Making this documentary, and talking to so many comedians, what are some interesting things you've learned that you can share with us? Whether it be about the process of making the documentary, or something about stand up comedy that you weren't aware of before.

We've filmed over 25 hours with over 20 comedians thus far. One of the most surprising things was Freddy Prinze Jr. talking about his father on camera for the very first time...he was absolutely hilarious while doing so.

What movie/project do you regret doing the most? Which one was your favorite?

I said yes to a movie called Juwanna Mann with Will Smith as the lead. When I started the movie, Will Smith was no longer the lead. That sucked pretty hard.

Did you ever have the privilege of meeting/talking to/sucking the dick of George Carlin?

If so, was it pre- or post-mortem?

I met him in a hotel elevator. I told him he was a hero and he acknowledged me as a stand-up, but was much more impressed with me as an actor. It didn't come up, but I probably would have given him a handy.

Mr. Pollak! Thanks for doing this AMA.

Podcasting has obviously seen a huge influx of comedic talent lately, with many of your peers starting their own shows. As a medium, what are the perks and drawbacks to hosting your own show? Do you feel it has opened up doors or created new opportunities for you, in terms of getting offered roles or other projects? If you stopped acting all together, do you feel that podcasting would be a viable option for you as a sustaining career option?

That was a ton of questions. Apologies! Huge fan of your work. Thanks again!

The one great thing about doing a podcast as a comedian is that it affords you the same amount of control and ownership both creatively and the content that I've never had as an actor.

Why do you think comedians are miserable?

We've interviewed over 20 so far. The answer seems to be this: Everyone is miserable. Only a few of us have turned it in to a profession.

Are there any actors you've worked with that are secretly hilarious, but aren't publicly known for it?

Gabriel Byrne.

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You just have to do it... and then do it again 10,000 more times.

Kevin, what was it like working with James Woods on "Shark"? Also, did you try to hit on Jeri Ryan (and if so, how did it go?)

Woods is a genius. If you don't believe me, ask him. I had dreams about Jeri Ryan...the one that got away.

Hi Kevin. Just wanted to say that you were hilarious when I saw you in San Fran in April and that our group appreciated you taking the time to take pictures with us all after the show. Also, I'm sorry my Grandma grabbed your ass.

Pretty sure that was your grandpa.

Kevin F'n Pollack, the man, the myth, the original "That Guy! From That Thing!"

I'm an aspiring voice actor [apparently not all that I'm cracked up to be], and I know you are one of the Kings of Impressions.

What advice can you give to those out there looking for work both as original as well as impression voice acting jobs out there?

Just don't get frustrated by rejection. Never give up and you'll be fine.

KPCS no longer downloads to TiVo. Why?

They fucked us. You can get it with Apple TV or Roku...or earwolf.com!

I loved you in The Whole Nine Yards. How much fun was it to work on that movie, considering the amazing cast? I imagine much joking around happened off camera

Also, "Don't be-long" has stuck with me forever, and everytime I hear somebody say it, that phrase immediately springs to mind.

One of the best times ever. Matthew Perry gave me "Don't be-long" to try on the seventh take and it has been quoted back to me more than anything I've ever said in a movie. Michael Clark Duncan, although he sadly died far too young, was a complete and total dick.

would you rather win the WSOP main event or an oscar?

WSOP main event.

Are there any impersonations that can't do for whatever reasons?

There's always a bunch that you'll never get no matter how hard you try.

Hi Chat Show!

Thanks for the AMA! How did you end up with such a great sidekick for your podcast as Samm "The Ma'am" Levine (AKA Lil' Wolverine)?

I begged and then offered to pay him nothing.

What is your favourite movie character?

One that you've played, and one that you wish you'd played?

Walter Emerson from Deterrence...which nobody saw. I've always wanted to play the real-life story of Houdini.

Loved your stand-up special on Netflix.

When has one of your impressions landed you in hot water?

Action hero from the 90's, Jeff Speakman.

Hi Kevin. I'm a big fan. I looked into your documentary, and it sounds like it'll be great, but I'm surprised that Mitch Hedberg isn't on the list of comedians you'll cover. Was he ever considered as a subject for the documentary? If so, why won't he be a part of it? I'm excited to see this documentary. Thanks!

A.) He's dead. B.) I've reached out to his widow, who I would love to talk to. C.) His brilliance will be covered in the film, one way or the other.

Kevin! When are you anticipating releasing 'Misery Loves Company'? How wide will the release be?

The plan is a feature-film documentary, which usually means festivals. I'm gonna end up with about eighty hours of film. Two-time academy award winner Robert Logato is editing with me and so far his only advice is "Don't rush this one."

Kevin. Great to see your AMA going well.

Thanks for the memories. What is your heritage? You always play different roles with awesome accents, and I've always wondered where your family is actually from?

My parents were first generation Americans. My dad's father is from Russia, my mom's father is from England.

So many comedians get their inspiration from the mundane, sad or dramatic. As a would-be writer, I can relate. I feel more inspired when I'm not 100 percent happy with my life. Do you think happiness or contentment is comedy kryptonite? Do you think happy writers/comedians exist?

Happy writers/comedians do exist, but only towards the end of their lives. And yes, it can be kryptonite for most.

You were the voice of Mr. Bell on the early episodes of The Drew Carey Show?!?!?!

The ENTIRE first season! Yes, I was. Thank you. Craig Ferguson owes me his career. It was really fun walking out on stage and letting the audience see me for the first time to see Mr. Bell was really fun.

Years ago I wrote a piece entitled KEVIN POLLAK IS A NATIONAL TREASURE for a website. Sadly, it doesn't look like it's still out there in ether.

Regardless, the human race should really appreciate you more.

My question: I'm headed to Vegas this weekend. Should I bet on black?

Always bet on black baby. Oh wait... That's what Samuel L. Jackson says. Fuck him. Bet on red.

Any chance you'll be touring through the Midwest anytime soon?

Workin' on this documentary through the end of the year. More dates comin. Be there, see ya soon.

What's the biggest amount of bullshit you have to deal with as a director?

None yet. Fingers crossed...I'm sure it's coming.

Is it easier or harder to make a living as a comedian today?

It seems like it's easier to find stage time in more cities than ever, which is the only way you'll get the chance to make a living. So I'd say easier.

Are there going to be any highlighted Internationally Famous Funny Fuckers? Other than European countries?

I certainly hope so. Got anybody in mind?

Can you hit us with a text-based entry into the Larry King game? The impression won't come through, but I think we'd all appreciate that the spirit of the thing remains.

Dana Gould and Dana Carvey.

How long do you think it will take for the internet to replace traditional television and film as a vehicle for content distribution? Do you think consumer demand for Video On Demand will outpace Hollywood's transition into monetizing the internet and if so, what will be the consequences of that?

Finally, how are you doing? Is life treatin' ya well?

It's cut in to the numbers faster than people thought it would. The networks are posting download numbers and piracy internet numbers. The end is imminent but still not near.

SLOBBO! I noticed you listed your profession as "comedian" and not "actor." Is that because you still feel like a fraud on a movie set or do you truly prefer stand up?

You are correct. It's because I still feel like a fraud. I started as a stand-up comedian with no formal training. I will always prefer stand-up comedy.

In your opinion, who's a better impressionist? You or Spacey?

My answer is this:

Spacey's impression of William Hurt is one of the best I've ever heard. Ever. But his Christopher Walken sucks so bad it makes me cry and pee at the same time.

Hi from Liverpool UK, Kevin. :D

Love your work.

Now you're directing, who would be your ideal cast, and where would the location be?

Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones. Trying to get her to star in my next film which I would love to shoot in my home town of San Francisco, or my grandfather's hometown outside of London.

would you rather fight 100 duck-sized christopher walkens or 1 christopher walken sized duck?

The 100 duck-sized Christopher Walken's because that is a hilarious visual vs. one GIANT-ASS fucking duck.