Pete Holmes from The Pete Holmes Show here. Ask me something. Ask me anything.

Hey Pete, I imagine much of this AMA is going to resemble my post, but I sincerely wanted to stop in and say thanks for changing my life. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, or that I’m simply trying to warrant a response from you or butter your bread. It’s true though! I was, for years and years, very closed off and very shy about almost everything in my life. Or, as my therapist (NOT DGP) would say, I was emotionally in the closet. I didn’t want to be that way. Shyness was just easier and less dramatic, so I went that route. I can feel reddit, and you, not caring at this point, but regardless I was in a serious rut and there was your podcast. I forget how I found it, but I started listening and it blew my fucking mind. Not because of anything you said specifically, or any point of view you had, but rather just how comfortable you were in sharing everything. EVERYTHING! You weren’t afraid to look dumb, you weren’t afraid to be completely vulnerable and share those real deep dark thoughts that we all have, and most surprisingly you weren’t afraid to do this IN PUBLIC. To reiterate, it straight up changed my life. I know it sounds simple, and maybe it is for some, but for me it was a revelation. This was how I wanted to be. I think this is how everyone wants to be, but we’re too self important or scared or all of the above or whatever to actually do it.

And then I met you a few times at various comedy clubs in LA and lo and behold you’re exactly the same in person. There is no act. You’re patient and kind, and you went out of the way to ask me a question. Sure, there was probably a little bit of a stock routine in there with you dealing with a fan, but one time you talked about a very personal relationship of yours for like 5 minutes. You didn’t owe me 5 minutes! That’s incredible.

So I just want to say: you’re important Pete. You’re as important as mushrooms, or meditation, or nutrition, or open heartedness, or any of the things you’ve introduced me to through your podcast. People need your brand of art in the world. It helps them. It helps me. I’ve re-listened to the Emily Gordon and Riki Lindhome episodes multiple times in moments when I’m down. I don’t have a question for you. Maybe: how are you? Love the talk show too; you’re killing it. Thanks again man

Wow, what a way to start! I'm as important as mushrooms??? Thank you so much. In a lot of ways, the podcast has helped ME be more like how I am in the podcast, so I totally relate. Does that make sense? I used to keep so much inside, especially with new people or new girlfriends, and now I'm so much better about giving people honest representations of who I really am in real-time. That's partially due to therapy (DGP!) but has a TON to do with practicing being real and honest on the show. I'm so glad you had a similar experience, thank you for starting this is such a nice and sincere way. THANK YOU!

WHATCHU KNOW BOUT GREEN EGGS AND HAM!?!

that woman has given the world so much joy. i still say that to myself and laugh. thank you, LAX TSA agent!! wherever you are!

How many nights a week do you have the same dream where Marc Maron looks you straight in the eyes and tells you he's proud of you?

i alternate that dream with conan doing the same thing. so, a lot.

Knowing everything you know now, would you still have married your ex-wife?

good one!

um, no. the lessons i learned in that marriage could've been learned apart from it, i just don't know how. the way i went, getting hurt by it, was perfect for me, but i hope that pain isn't a prerequisite to self-realization, ambition and self-reliance. it (pain) helps, tho! you see what you're made of and what you're fighting against!

i still have dreams we're together sometimes and i'm like, "NO! I'm a different person now!" and i wake up very relieved. for all the shit i give her, i hope she knows i'm happy for the time we had and where it got me personally.

My wife would like me to tell you that, because of you, I refer to my penis as "ol' peeny pants." So, thanks for that.

Hope he's doing well!

Hey Pete where is Tom Petty from?

he looks like he's from california, but google tells me he's from florida. weird. that hair is DEF from cali. fuckin' google.

I love your podcast and I was wondering what your weirdest/funniest experience was while on mushrooms. (Keep It Crispy)

i was in amsterdam lying on the grass by two danish ladies unpacking their picnic. i was very convinced i was at the bottom of their basket. i was like, "they are going to SHIT when they see me hiding down here!"

fun times.

Hey, Pete! I'm a huge fan and I've even recently started doing stand-up because of the podcast. I just have one quick question; what's the meaning of life?

Also here is my You Made It Weird guest wish list: Cara Santa Maria (neuroscientist and science educator), Lauren Lapkus (UCB improviser and actress), Jonah Ray, Donald Glover, Katie Crown, Joe Rogan, Moshe again and Nick Kroll again. Thanks for doing this AMA!

I think we came from an infinite state of being and all-knowingness with our creator and elected to spend a finite amount of time on earth to learn more about truth, beauty, grace, pain, love and loss. We wanted to forget because learning is what this life is all about. Or maybe something else.

Pete! Saw your tweet, Pete! Beat the heat, Pete! It would be awful neat, Pete!

:)

Petey-pants,

I just want to thank you for your podcast. I've been listening since ep 6 and you quickly skyrocketed to becoming my favorite comedian. I saw you at JFL42 twice last year, three times if you count the live podcast.

Although YMIW has helped me with maybe personal issues, I'd have to say that the greatest life tool I've learned from you comes from your standup. Your tendancy to play around in "playground bits" and openly state things like "I don't know why we're not all doing backflips right now. If you're not imagining ______" inspired me to enjoy life and make myself happy, regardless if others are willing to get on board or not. I'll cash all my happy checks while they worry about being seen at the bank.

My Questions: (oh god, so many. answer whichever you like)

1. As a Canadian without cable, what can I do to help ensure that The Pete Holmes Show gets picked up for an additional 30 years?

2. I really relate to your past trouble of being "too nice" in relationships to the point where it fosters resentment and harms the relationship. How did you resolve this behavior? Any reading to recommend other than I Can't Believe My Life Has Come To This by Dr. Gary Penn, available now?

3. How did your parents take to you abandoning religion?

4. Can we get DGP as a TPHS/YMIW guest?

5. Top 3 DREAM YMIW Guests? Assume that they would all say yes and go as long as you want.

6. What would you say your biggest spiritual revelation has been since starting the show?

Again, thank you for everything. You are truly a hero of mine.

first off, thank you!!! that's what it's all about. green lighting your own happiness!

1. i have no idea!! i watch so many shows online myself!! does that count! i have no idea how any of that works.

2. you need to realize that being honest is the only true loving thing to do. nuts go around "not hurting people" when they know they are withholding their true feelings. don't be a nut. what i learned was, when you are in the place of having just been honest with someone, in a break up or just a good talk, and you feel how good that feels, tell yourself, "THIS IS WHAT HOESTY FEELS LIKE." While it's happening. That will form a link in your brain between being honest and feeling good. Repeat. I'm still working on that one because i want people to like me, but as Dr Suess said (paraphrasing) "Be yourself, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." BOOM!

3. It's ongoing, but I keep telling my mom that me and god are closer than ever. Every time I swear or do something "blue" there's almost always something true behind it. She'll come around.

4. I don't think he'd do it. For professional reasons.

5. Daddy Gos. Eminem. How do you spell Dali Lama. Llama? Llama me por telephono?

6. "God" is just a catch all term for truth, beauty, grace, love, peace, kindness, compassion and harmony. Do with that what you will and don't hurt anyone.

Hey Pete, I loved the YMIW you did with Rob Bell. Any plans to do something with him or someone similar on your show?

Rob and I went surfing and talked about jesus and filmed it for TPHS. Turned out great. My first question was "do you think jesus surfed or was definitely a real person?" We are friends now and will be doing lots of stuff together!

Hey Pete, what kind of soap do you use?

Just started making my own shampoo with Castille soap, tea tree oil, vitamin E, and peppermint. Shit's dope as fuck.

Bar soap, whatever is organic from the store. I mix it up! But I may just start using the homemade stuff everywhere! (pubes)

Pete...can you please have Chelsea Peretti on your show and/or podcast at least every other week? The back and forth that you two have is pretty much the most entertaining thing ever.

She's got another piece on TPHS soon! So glad you like it!!

Hey pete! I love your podcast, standup, and your show! My question is... On your show, you laugh at your jokes all the time. Is that because you haven't heard the jokes yet, you genuinely think they are funny, or because of the audiences reaction? EDIT: just to clarify, I love your laugh. It makes your jokes even funnier!

it has a lot to do with the audience enjoying it, my delighting in them hearing it and responding. but honestly, it's a bi-product of being present as a performer. i'm picturing it, reconnecting with what made it funny for me in the first place. laughing is a natural result. and sometimes i'm riffing. but mostly it's because it's funny to me!

You are really open about your life and the people in it on your podcast. Have you ever had anyone get mad at you for talking about them? Do you know how your ex-wife feels about the stuff you say about your marriage and divorce?

I haven't talked to my ex since the split, like six or seven years ago, but who knows. i try to keep the oversharing about me and so far it's worked out. jeselnik didn't like that i told people he meditates and does yoga, but he's out about that now... at least i think.

Tell us your mantra Pete! How many syllables are we working with?

For realzies, would you ever let a weirdo interview you on YMIW? I'll volunteer to do the dirty work.

remember, buddah just said "i breathe in, i breathe out." and he was buddah. so a mantra doesn't have to be fancy to work! anything you repeat in your mind can quiet it. even "Mambo #5." mine is two syllables, way shorter than Deepy Chopes.

i'd consider it!! i think it could be fun. maybe at a live one to start!

Pete,

Do you still have nightmares about the Peanut wearing the top hat?

ha! it's a terrifying thing, a peanut selling his people to people who eat peanuts.

Peter, whose one celebrity you've always wanted to Make it Weird with?

Daddy Gos! (Ryan Gosling)

Are you John Ritter?

it's weird how much we look and SOUND alike, isn't it?? he was so great. i love him.

Petey, any info on the Judd Apatow film you auditioned for? love now and always xo

i did alright! Judd is a fan and that is honestly enough for now! if i get to be in a movie of his, that would just be amazing.

Hey Pete,

I've listened to every episode, actually listening to Dave Wolfe right now, but something that I've been curious about is the Jamie Lee episode. You said in a couple episodes near the beginning that she was going to do or had done an episode, but I've heard nothing about it in about 100 eps. Did it get too weird, or did you decide that it would hurt your current friendship, or what?

Anyway, love the both shows, I really used to identify with you on the religion and sex fronts and I've been a huge comedy fan forever so the podcast has always been perfect for me. Please come back to Indiana so I can pay you actual money and see you in person.

Jamie and I did record one, but we're holding off for the right time. She and I are such good friends, we thought it would be weird to keep reinforcing the "we used to date" thing so much. Maybe soon!

Doing standup can be really discouraging at times. What made you go the distance? Did you ever take a break or consider quitting?

i know. that's part of it. just accept it where it's at for you right now and don't quit. surround yourself with a bunch of other nuts who won't quit. that will help you. i never considered quitting but that's not because it was all goodness. it's hard sometimes. that's the pain of growth!

How many pumps Pete?

i'm in the double digits these days!

What are you going to do once you've fired all the X-men?

hmmmm... maybe video games? i'd like to do something with Street Fighter!

Hello Pete! You’re so great. After a Largo show you gave me a hug even though you were still sick, and your podcast has enriched my life in more ways than I can say! There really has never been anyone like you; your openness is beyond any other performer I’ve ever known, thank you for letting all of us in!

My question is, you obviously did a lot of searching on the question of polyamory. I know you’re potentially engaged in it right now, but really truly, in your Lithuanian gut of guts, how do YOU actually feel now that you’ve gathered so much information about it? I know that for myself, when you would get into it, I would come around and be on board logically, and then I would look at my boyfriend’s handsome face and it would all go out the window.

The Pete Holmes Show and especially the interviews so far have been so good! I can’t believe you commented on Whitney’s ornate vagina on TV, but it proves that you really are creating a show that has a similar feel and honesty to the podcast. I especially loved gabbing with gals with Allison Williams, and it would be really cool if you could do more interviews like that, I would love to see one with Emily!

Thank you for everything, you’re so great. Even though you didn’t know what Orca whales are.

i know what you mean. my therapist called Polyamory "Marxism" in that it makes perfect sense logically but not always emotionally. for me, when i say i'm making a run at the best life ever and i'm not sure if monogamy is a part of that, that's honest: i don't know! i tend to be possessive, too. not in a bad way -- you love someone you want them all for yourself! i'm just very curious about people who had shed that belief.

Any information on when The Pete Holmes show will be available in Canada?

i'm working on it!! sorry, Canada! ps give me ketchup chips.

Hey Pete any chance of seeing you on Doug loves food soon? You were incredible that last time.

i hope so!!! i love doug. doing DLM in a few weeks. those bacon cookies were unreal and so fucking bad for me.

I've been to two show tapings already and I Love the show. When do you start taping after hiatus or when do you find out if the show keeps going? I would love to bring more of my friends! Also will you go out and tour during your hiatus?
Keep it crispy!

i will tour in the in-between time for sure! we could hear ANY DAY NOW! waaaaaahooooo! so glad you like it, please come any time!! crowds have been amazing.

Pete! I’m a big fan – listen to your podcast on the regular, caught your (terrific!!) standup show in DC this summer, and have died laughing watching your doctor antagonize a bemused Matt McCarthy. I also love your generally disruptive appearances on other podcasts like Doug Loves Movies or the recent Comedy Bang Bang.

Two questions for you:

1) Having listened to dozens of your podcasts now, it is CRAZY how much I know about you, given that I have met you once for like 10 seconds... Probably more than I know about some of my friends. Have you ever had weird moments interacting with fans you just met in which they bring up really personal stuff that you have talked about? Is it weird having strangers know so many intimate details about your life and thoughts?

2) What would Petey from Lexington have to say to the Pete Holmes who now throws around words like "Kombutch" and "Deep Chopes"?

Congrats on the new show, man, it's terrific and exciting to see you doing so great!

1) i've actually had wonderful interactions with people who know a lot about me from the podcast (a "parasocial" or one-sided relationship at first (thanks to Bo Burnham for teaching us that word)) so the answer is that it's weird that it DOESN'T weird me out! i just feel like I have to play catch up with fans who, unsurprisingly, are pretty open. that can be a lot of fun, sometimes we just jump into a deep or interesting conversation. sometimes it's just weird, but that's fun, too.

2) i'd like to think that past-pete would think present pete is the true pete that always wanted to exist, but am also open to the fact that past-pete probably would think present pete is pretty weird. because he is. present pete even thinks present pete is pretty weird. but to quote the new eminem (which is great) FUCK BEING NORMAL!! :)

Pete, I have a margarine dick. Help me?

just keep wedgin it in. or find a lady with a toast vagina!

Same idea as a lot of these comments, just wanted to thank you a bunch Pete. Going through a rough time right now and your podcast is the number one thing that keeps me going. It's like little therapy sessions right to my earbuds. I love you and look forward to seeing you perform again next time you come to Toronto !

Thanks!! Hang in there! Tough times become good stories that help other people thru tough times! Cue "Circle of Life"!!!

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emily gordon's ep for sure. rob bell for sure. too much stuff to go in to... maron's ep. the podcast is compelling i think because it's literally me just getting my mind blown so much of the time. that makes for a fun time at the movies.

i don't get your second comment. either you want me to be your fan one day or you want to have sex with one of my fans, either way i'm pulling for you! :)

What's the most interesting penguin fact you know?

They CAN fly, they just don't want to.

Approximately how many times have you proposed to Chelsea?

zero. she's like an abusive sister to me.

When you talk with your parents on the phone, does the conversation quickly turn into discussions of wheat grass, meditation, and other new agey philosophy?

Also, please get Shane Mauss back to tell his story of being kidnapped. I must know what happened.

My parents have no idea I drink wheatgrass, meditate or any of that. I drop hints that I'm open to talking about it, but I can't be "that guy" unless they want to go there. That's true with most of it. I don' t want to convert people. When they ask me about food or new agey stuff, I say "are you sure you want to do this?" I don't want to preach!

And I will!

Pete you seem like the nicest guy ever. Are you really that nice? Do you like when fans come up to you on the street or do you find that annoying?

No, but I'm me all day. I see the not so nice sides. People who are mostly nice are called "nice" but we have ugly, mean thoughts just like anyone. And sometimes I'm grumpy and curt, it's just MOST of the time I'm silly. That's where the label "nice" comes from!

Hi Pete! What’s your favorite episode of You Made it Weird? Are there any episodes that didn't turn out as well as you wished they had?

i love the emily gordon one so much, it's just filled with advice i needed to hear (some i still need to start following!). i love the rob bell one just because i was so excited to talk to him and it got us to be friends. the new one, with david wolfe, was so fun for me as i'm currently weirding out about the things he enjoys. like i'm high on kale and raw chocolate as i write this. so really, the answer is, "almost always the newest one."

as for ones that didn't quite shape up how i wanted, that happens, but i wouldn't want to out that person. some people just see the world in a way that is... less interesting to me. i like to play, to explore; some people are more set in their ways and that can be less of a silly fun time which is what i'm going for.

Hey Pete, what's the status?

Yeah, Denver!!!!

Hey Pete! Who is your favourite comedian, and why is it Thomas Middleditch?

haaaa, thomas middleditch is hands down one of the funniest people i've ever known.

bill burr, steve martin (his standup, check it out), cosby, brian regan.

Pete: The interviews on your show are hilarious. I'm always disappointed when I see that I have to go online to see the full interview. Is there any chance you might change up your show format to allow for longer interviews? I think those are your strongest bits compared to your monologues and sketches.

thanks! i'm glad you like them. maybe! we'll see, that's not up to me!

Thanks for doing this Pete! I'm a huge weirdo and fucking love YMIW and TPHS. I went to your most recent show in Dallas and you killed it. Sitting in the front row was fantastic, but talking to you while you were on stage was amazingly hilarious! So again, thank you for that.

As for the question, because of YMIW I feel like I know so much about you already so I only have one weird question. If you could have sex with any animal, it would have a human vagina , what animal would it be and why?

1, thank you!!!!

2, polar bear. c'mon! i'm a big guy, i rarely get enveloped.

Hey Pete! Right off the bat, I want to ask you something that's on all of our minds: When will we see a Nude Reunion Tour of the East Coast?

we only had like four songs! but summer 2014.

Did you feel a slight attraction to Kumail, after having that delicious kiss? Btw, I absolutely love You made it weird. Perfect for me, weird and long...

not really. i love kumail but my d isn't interested in him like that.

Pete, every time someone on TV or in a movie throws up, my girlfriend or I yell "DIANE", and then quote as much of your updated "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" title as we can remember. Then we both laugh our balls off. So thanks for that. Looking forward to seeing you, Doug, Rory, and Natasha on New Years' Eve here in SF!

I guess the only question I have is about you and Maron. Are you guys good?

Thanks!

Maron just did TPHS. He killed it! It was great. Just the right mix of jokes and him breaking my balls!

DIANE!!

Ole' Petey Pants, how are ya'?!! I'm a HUGE fan. It's hard to ask you questions because I feel like I know way too much about you in the first place. Anyway, besides your own, what are your favorite podcasts? Favorite self-help books (not by your own therapist, Dr. Gary Penn)? Favorite comedy related books? Also, have you ever considered writing a book, well not now, you're pretty busy with your show, but who the fuck am I to say that? One more, what exactly was your juice cleanse routine? Okay, anywho, you're amazing, and my mom loves you too! Ps you, your show, your laugh, and this AMA are McDonalds

i love WTF, i love Stuff to Blow Your Mind, This American Life, Savage Lovecast. I unironically enjoy Tony Robbins. Born Standing Up is a good comedy book. I play with the idea of writing a book when there's time!

Watch Fat Sick and Nearly Dead for what i did regarding a juice cleanse! My main juice was a fuck ton of kale, celery, cilantro, parsley, ginger, lemon, cucumber. I call it the Not Fucking Around. too much sugar (fruit) can mess with it.

Hey Pete,

So everyone else has written these crazy long comments, which is no surprise considering your appreciation for crazy long things. Hey-oh. Regardless, I'd just like to start by saying that "You Made It Weird" has been, by far, my best discovery of the past year. It was the bi-highlight (Bilight?) of my week, now it's the highlight of my week, and it's certainly my favorite podcast. While I don't have cable at home normally, I've been able to watch your show while I've been house sitting for the past two weeks and I've loved it--I certainly hope that it sticks around! Anyway, question time:

What's your favorite animal?

How difficult has it been keeping the podcast going while also developing the show?

What's the biggest laugh you've ever had? I'm sure that you answered this question on the podcast before, but screw it, asking again.

i love cats! i love winning them over.

not too bad! thanks for understanding when we went to once a week, weirdos!

seriously, when rory scovel was on TPHS. i was crying.

What kind of soap do you use? Did it change after you started The Pete Holmes show?

it's always changing! see above! :)

Pete! I love You Made it Weird! Incredibly insightful and hilarious, and very very helpful as I go through college!

Would you ever consider getting Joe Rogan on the podcast? He's hilarious and even though on the surface you two seem totally different, I think the two of you would have an awesome conversation and get into some really awesome areas. Thanks for what you do! Good luck with your tv show!

i've asked! want him on. last i heard he was taking a break from guesting on other people's podcasts. but soon i hope!

We know every episode is your favourite, but what moment is your favourite excluding Outside Lands?

Pete, this is more of a Try Find Something I Havent Told You. It took me a shower to think of that question.

i loved Iliza "info@vistaprint.com" story about me and the girl who works for Matt Damon. also, Aisha Tyler when she said "who would want to worship a god like that" and i said "millions of people" and we laughed for about three minutes.

you do better thinking in the shower because you are grounded to the negative charge of the earth. the same is true of swimming or walking on grass barefoot. namaste.

What is your proudest accomplishment?

Honestly, it's being able to make comedy that I think is true to myself. I'm being me and it's a thrill to see other people, especially my family and my heroes (Conan), enjoying that. :)

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There Will Be Blood. Oooh and the Master. I love thinly veiled struggles between the id, ego and superego. By Paul Thomas Anderson.

Simpsons.

Bill Burr.

Any advice for an aspiring comedy writer?

Make stuff!! Look at and analyze the stuff you like! Don't rush! Get better! Keep your head down and don't be a dick!

Hey Pete, fellow weirdo here! Love the new show. You are the best visual comedian I have ever heard, you really make me feel like I'm in the joke. I just have two questions for you. 1.) Where do you find the most inspiration for your jokes? 2.) How much of the monologues on the show are scripted and how much is improve? Thanks for doing this. I hope you have a lot more success.

1) anything that is rooted in some base emotion. fear, desire, joy. i have "sex, needs, fear, love" written on my white board. also, anything that takes people from disempowered (life happens to me) to empowered (i happen to life) is interesting to me. like Breaking Bad. Walt has cancer, disempowered. Walt cooks meth, empowered. Or all of rap, really. I had nothing, now i'm a rapper. I like that in comedy: i was sad, now i make myself happy.

2) I'd say 80/20. I love improvising but we also have great writers!

Will you or would you want to be on the If I Were Your podcast again?

Things are crazy busy but maybe!!

Salutations Peter!

I have been doing some basic breathing meditation lately and I find that it gets me to a place of hyper-awareness. Sounds are louder, movements feel more sharp and swift, my focus is crisp as a fresh ambrosia apple and I love it! Do you get something similar when you are doing TM? If not, can you describe the feeling?

PS: I am listening to the David Wolfe episode and it is simply the best!

thank you!

listen to me on Duncan Trussell's Family Hour podcast, i describe a post meditation feeling for about 20 minutes!!

happy meditating! p

Big fan, so don't take this the wrong way, but is there really anything we can ask that hasn't been answered in your podcasts? My guess is no, and I'm cool with that.

haaaa. let me see. i've never told anyone that i used to cry whenever i saw a squirrel get hit by a car. i was thinking about that today. so you could ask, "when you were a kid, what made you cry?"

but i get it. most of it is out there. but there's new stuff happening every day that's fun to talk about!!

Hey Pete, big fan! My co-workers and I have been quoting your Badman skits for weeks now.

Two questions:

1) Harvey Dent, CAN WE TRUST HIM??

2) What is your favorite part about your job? I was watching your interview with James Harden and it seems like you have a complete blast with all of it.

Thanks!

1) no, silly. he's two face!

2) it's like living in a magical chocolate factory. we think of something, it makes us laugh, we make it for others to enjoy. to have the resources to make your dreams come true in front of others is pure bliss! i'm glad my enjoyment is coming across!

Have you had any recent lucid dreams that stand out?

this morning! i didn't do too much, just stared at the sky. but it was AWESOME and trippy. the best part was i had all these papers i thought i needed on a bus and i was like "i don't need this shit, i'm dreaming!!"

Also, have you heard of the simulation argument and what is your opinion?

love it! how cool is it to consider that we are all in a simulation??? and even if we aren't in a computerized one, we totally are in one regardless. that's what reality is! (eats mushrooms)

Hey Pete, I am a big fan of the podcast and thought your talk show was really funny. My questions is Who would be your ideal guest (male and female) for your talkshow and why?

Daddy Gos (ryan gosling), Steve Martin, Matty D (Matt Damon), Bill Murray... just all the people I enjoy! Conan was just on. What a dream come true that was! His airs Thanksgiving.

Oooh, female I'm going to go with Kate Upton because I'm obsessed with Kate Upton. We just had one of my favorites Tig Notaro on and she killed it!! Tina Fey!

Pete, fuckin' A. I feel like im about to fangirl out over here, but you are my absolute favorite comedian ever. A lot of things you've said on your podcast have changed my perception and honestly a lot of facets of my life. I want to sincerely thank you for that. I also want to thank you for the hundreds of hours of laughter (and sometimes tears) You Made it Weird has brought me.

My question: I saw your show in DC back in May...waited in line to meet you and gave you a book called "Chant and be Happy." I was wondering if you had a chance to read it yet and what you thought about it.

Love the show Pete, I hope I get to see you on my TV for a long, long time!

Bonus: Here's a weird picture my SO took of you and I.

i still have it!! haven't read it yet, but i want to chant and be happy once all this slows down for a second!

thank you for the good words! fuckin' a!!!

Hey Pete. I was introduced to you through your live podcast with Jake and Amir. I've watched and listened to a lot of your stuff since then. I don't have a question, I just wanted to say good luck! You seem like a really great guy and I hope you have all the success in the world :)

thanks! love those guys!

p

Pete, do you ever do The Meltdown? My favorite line in all of your Badman sketches is Kumail Nanjiani as the Falafel vendor and the whole "What they don't like Falafel?" "That's actually a really great idea, thanks." and I was wondering if you were friends with Kumail or just needed a brown guy? Because he's awesome, and you're awesome, and Jonah and Hardwick are awesome, and everybody is awesome. Except Hitler, that dude was not awesome.

kumail and i have been very good friends for over a decade!

i do the meltdown about once a month and go to watch even more than that!

Hey Pete,

Love the show and YMIW. You need to do your Seinfeld impression more often on the show. Also, we need more hobbit williams. huhuuu okay. DENVER YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOGIIIIIII BEARRR!

you got it! YEAH! DENVER!

i freaked out at your david foster wallace "this is water" shoutout on the jordan peele episode - have you read anything else by him/plan to? you both seem very on the same page life-philosophy wise. (btw if you're looking for suggestions i would highly highly recommend his essays in "a supposedly fun thing i'll never do again" and of course infinite jest ((my favorite book)) ). :-)

thanks! just wrote it down on my desk!

Pete, you are my favorite comedian and it's my dream to get a hug from you one day. Just curious, any bands/albums/songs you're really into right now?

I LOVE the National. the new Eminem is great too. Eminem to get pumped, National to try and calm down after the taping!

I first heard of you when you went on Doug Loves Movies and now I love everything you do. I know something is quality when you are involved in a project. I am not good at explaining how much I like people, but know-- I like you. I like what you do. You do the good funny.

thank you!!!

Any chance we might see more "Kid Farm" episodes? Or at the very least as sketches on your show?

yes! we got to!

Hi, Pete! I'm the girl who made a joke about not doing work while at work then ended up having to do work outside of the office when your AMA started. Karma? Haha Not sure if this is still going on, but I mostly wanted to say that your podcast truly helped me through an extremely difficult year in 2012. You also helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I tend to talk a lot and I'm definitely an over-sharer...I also have a laugh that can be heard for miles...anyway, listening to you grow and evolve after a difficult change really inspired me, so thank you for that (typing "thank you" doesn't suffice, but it's my only option for now!).

I'm not sure if anyone's asked this, so I apologize if this question is redundant, but what pops into your head when someone (I know there are many of us) says that your podcast had a big impact on them in a positive way?

just happiness! the podcast has helped me, too, so we're all in this together! it's a nice feeling :)

Hola Pete, who's farts smell the worst?

i could pick my dad's farts out of a line up. they're so... unique.

Hi Pete like everyone else here I'm a huge fan and wanted to thank you for all the great podcasts that have gotten me through long boring work days.

Just curious how will you balance the podcast, the tv show and stand up? Are you on a bit of a stand up break for now? I've only got to see you live in Nashville once and hope I get a chance to do so again! (This time I won't chicken out and meet in person and possibly ask for a hug!)

i feel like i'm doing standup twice, sometimes four times a day. the monologue is a lot like doing new standup, and i go out and warm the audience up, which is like standup. but i am not performing as much as i usually do at night. night is sleep time now.

hug!

If you could have any Husband, who would it be?

going with my gut here, Matt Damon?

What is your favorite insult?

"Shit head."

PETE! I''m a big fan- I'm listening to your podcast right now! So, random question, if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead who would it be? And what would you ask?

I'd love to talk to my grandparents! Not to be sad, never knew em!

What was your favorite part of making the Batman parodies with CollegeHumor? What was the hardest part? Have you heard any feedback from anyone involved in Christopher Nolan's films?

Sorry for asking so much, but these questions have been on my mind since I saw the videos for the first time.

no word from nolan!

they are some of my favorite things to do. i'm basically just trying to make matt mccarthy (gordon) and oren brimer (writer/director) laugh. in a bat suit. i love it. i love batman.

the hardest part is that suit is SO HOT and uncomfortable and most of them are overnight shoots, like 10-5am. but it's so fun who cares!

Petey-pants,

I know you're a big fan of Vinny D. Which of the "fast and furious" movies is your favorite? If you were cast in the "fast and furious" series, which role would you want to play?

Also, you need to get Nick Cage on TPHS and YMIW. I'd listen to those interviews every single day.

i could only be the guy who goes "what the shit??" when the cars drive by real fast. love Vinny D!