Hi reddit. I'm Chris D'Elia. I'm a comedian. I play Topher in Workaholics and I have my hour standup special “White Male. Black Comic.” coming out this Friday, December 6th at 12:00 AM on Comedy Central.

http://www.comedycentral.com/comedians/chris-delia

Ask me anything!

https://twitter.com/chrisdelia/status/408402263644704768

EDIT: Thanks so much guys this was fun... Wish I could stay longer. Tweet me during my special. I'll be reading your comments.

Comments: 735 • Responses: 54  • Date: 

Johnnystan69238 karma

Chris, I'm disappointed your username isn't BeiberHole69.

Chris_Delia209 karma

No way bro. Tryin' to evade the cops my main man.

Jlarkz164 karma

aaaand so slow to respond aaaand so slow

Chris_Delia127 karma

hehehehehehehehehe

cdelia11113 karma

Woah, my name is also Chris D'Elia. I'm yet to meet or hear of anyone else with it as well. I nearly had a heart attack when it said I was doing an AMA.

My question is, are you a Christopher or a Christian?

Chris_Delia385 karma

If you use my name to fuck a woman I'll find you bro.

Geniemist98 karma

Would you rather…Change gender every time you sneeze? Or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?

Chris_Delia316 karma

I mean, that's the worst question I have ever heard in my life.

I would choose the muffin baby thing because they are both so delicious.

gmanji21256 karma

but really, what is s'cutest thing you've ever seen?

Chris_Delia170 karma

Me in a onesie.

A month ago.

BigG12354 karma

Is your hair insured?

Chris_Delia167 karma

No. But that's because I shave it every night when I go to bed when I wake up it's fully grown out again.

TwiceBakedJake51 karma

Can you please post more beautiful versions of songs on Vine? You have the voice of an angel.

Chris_Delia92 karma

I have the voice of a drunk, abusive angel. And I only do them when the songs play on the radio. I never set it up. I always just record whatever comes on the radio.

Farts-R-Us39 karma

Insult me please. I am a chubby ethnic man from upstate NY.

Chris_Delia141 karma

You just did that yourself.

lilllywhite38 karma

What made you choose the username Bieberhole69?

In all seriousness one of my favourite Workaholics episodes of all time

Chris_Delia84 karma

I didn't choose that. That was in the script.

ThorTheTechnoViking34 karma

Why is Bryan such a BKJ? Aside from him knowing s'little bout comedy that is.

Chris_Delia71 karma

Because he is 79 years old.

Lawrence3233 karma

How can I get more bow'jahs. would help mmmuh very much.

Chris_Delia82 karma

Walkroun w'y'dich'out.

fisch0931 karma

When do you feel a grilled cheese stops being a grilled cheese with toppings and becomes a grilled sandwich with cheese. As in ratio of toppings to cheese, or types of toppings?

Chris_Delia107 karma

Hey man. You are 100 percent crazy and that's completely obvious.

mmoore11826 karma

How come I shouldn't take advice from guys in weird hats?

Chris_Delia91 karma

Because if somebody is making such a poor decision on something that's on their head, you should not trust their life advice.

Geniemist24 karma

Hey Chris D'Elia! Welcome to Reddit, and at the same time, I'm sorry:) I know this question is kinda personal, but Would you rather have sex with a goat and no one will ever know, or not have sex with a goat and have the whole world think you did? If you don't answer we will have to assume it's the first one..

Chris_Delia138 karma

I'd rather not have sex with a goat and just use that pain and suffering for my comedy and my act, that everyone thought I did. My next special would be "I swear I did not have sex with that goat."

qwetty22 karma

CHRIS FUCKING D'ELIA YOU'RE MY IDOL. honestly though, just thank you for being so funny. your vines keep my friend and i entertained for days. also, your stand up bit about the deer being shot had me pee my pants...literally.

Chris_Delia21 karma

Thank you man! Love it.

nolmurph9719 karma

What do you do to deal with hecklers?

Chris_Delia82 karma

I hate when people interrupt my show. But when they do, I secretly want to ruin their night…with humor. At their expense. I never don't try to 100% completely humiliate them. #cute

blacks_dudes19 karma

biggie smalls or tupac?

Chris_Delia92 karma

If you were a real Chris D'Elia fan, you wouldn't even ask me that question.

josephine_amos19 karma

Hi, Chris, I loved you on Whitney, you were awesome and I was so sorry to see the show go! I think you're hilarious! :) Silly questions:

  1. What makes you laugh?
  2. Are you ticklish? If so where and are your feet ticklish?

Hope this makes you smile, have a great Christmas! jo X

Chris_Delia108 karma

1 My family and when people hit their head

2 I am ticklish. The area I am most ticklish in is Sacramento.

against_stives16 karma

Chris, making a sub sandwich right now... Provolone or swiss cheese?

Chris_Delia30 karma

I love both MAN!!!!

boxjellee15 karma

Chris, one late night while home alone in the early days of high school I was scouring the HBO channels for softcore porn, and instead found your bit on Live Nude Comedy and it was hilarious. Just want to say I'm glad I discovered your stand up instead of watching Lord of the G-Strings for the 12th time, and I've been a fan ever since.

Chris_Delia15 karma

Hahahahaha thank you!!!

ADickForAnASS15 karma

Are you wearing pants right now?

Chris_Delia78 karma

I'm at home, so you do the math.

punkrosette15 karma

Can we get married? I promise I'm cute.

Chris_Delia78 karma

No because you're probably 14.

WizOfAwesSite14 karma

I remember watching your set from a while back at the Laugh Factory, when the weird couple interrupted making a bunch of strange noises.

Ever find out what happened to those two?

Chris_Delia62 karma

They're in my basement.

MikeJOC12 karma

Ay yo breh where yo beef with Drake at? It still runnin? Ain't worth sheete? Fill me in doe

Chris_Delia109 karma

You have a terrible command of the English language.

I like Drake's music. I always have. But he is just so easy to make fun of.

Doe.

deometer12 karma

If they were to make a movie about 10 Minute Podcast, obviously you and Will would play y'selves, but who would you recast as Bryan if Don Rickles weren't available?

Chris_Delia30 karma

A dead guy.

rjangelone12 karma

Who is your personal favorite comedian of all time?

Chris_Delia39 karma

Eddie Murphy.

Waffle_pancake11 karma

Do you love me as much as I love you?

Chris_Delia40 karma

I sure hope not.

ArdLem11 karma

When is Chank Smith going to do an AMA? You're cool but you don't rap

Chris_Delia13 karma

He is busy in Primm right now and I'm pretty sure they don't get internet.

tanyakandralyan11 karma

Chris! How do you prep to get on stage?

Chris_Delia18 karma

I do it so much that I don't even think about it. I just go onstage. I perform at least once a night.

Caitlynrob10 karma

Chris, you are by far my favorite comedian and I first heard about you on Conan a while back and thought you were hilarious so I told people to follow you on vine an twitter and shit. I also bought a s'cute shirt and I wear it with pride. I'm also a fan of TMP and you are my favorite but shh. Hehe.

Chris_Delia15 karma

heheheheheheeheheheehehehehehehehe.

AGoodMan3249 karma

Top five movies??

Chris_Delia21 karma

my top 5 movies are

Swingers Husbands by John Cassavetes Mulholland Drive Eyes Wide Shut American Animal

kwazzymoto9 karma

Tell us more about your dogs

Chris_Delia69 karma

They piss and shit in the house a lot. I would tell you which one I like more but they are looking at the computer screen right now and both can read.

Their names are Sam and Butters.

Butters just shit on the keyboard.

VooDooJew9 karma

you were great on whitney, are you doing another sitcom?

Chris_Delia34 karma

I have another one coming out on NBC next year called Undateable.

spinlighted9 karma

What's the most obnoxious thing Bryan has done on TMP lately?

Chris_Delia33 karma

Farted in the microphone.

privateeyela8 karma

In your standup you say you say you performed at a bar way deep in the valley and pissed off a lady. What's the name of that bar?

Chris_Delia18 karma

Liquid Zoo.

indecisiveprick8 karma

No question, just want to let you know that your deer impression is impeccable.

Chris_Delia21 karma

If you like that, then you should see my T-Rex impersonation.

immortal11697 karma

What do you like doing more? Stand up or acting.

Chris_Delia22 karma

Stand Up.

JenLikesCats6 karma

Favorite books and podcasts? Big fan, thanks for doing the AMA.

Chris_Delia48 karma

Favorite books are The Catcher in the Rye and Ham on Rye. I only read books with Rye in the title.

I don't listen to podcasts because they are all 7 hours long. That's why I made the 10 minute podcast.

rossiworm5 karma

Has Vine started paying you money yet?

Chris_Delia28 karma

Fuck no. They would have to pay me A LOT of money to promote shit for them or their sponsors. Hehehehehe. NEVERNOTCUTE

JSturty455 karma

How much of your standup comedy is improv on the stage? Do you start with a general idea and build based on the audience or is it all pretty well scripted?

Chris_Delia18 karma

I start with an idea and work it out on stage. I don't write my stuff down.

lootee035 karma

Top 3 favourite Vine accounts?

Chris_Delia38 karma

There are only bad vine accounts. Mine included.

BigG1235 karma

What was your first standup routine like?

Chris_Delia23 karma

It was seven minutes long. And I was so nervous that I wore a hole in the carpet walking back and forth before the show.

It went well. But I saw video of it years later and I couldn't even get through watching it.

asteroidb612_sarah5 karma

How did you get s'cute? Also, I'm a deliever…do we have meetings or some shit?

Chris_Delia32 karma

Why don't you spearhead the meetings? I'll come. And then I'm s'cute because I understand what cute is. I don't try to be cute.

Cute for real.

Cute for life.

Cute til six men carry me.

NEVERNOTCUTE.

MaryJaneHolland5 karma

When Mirrors by Justin Timberlake gets stuck in my head, it's stuck in my head sung by your voice. Why?

Chris_Delia11 karma

Because I sing it better!

cucumber__sadness5 karma

Have you and Whitney Cummings ever hooked up? Be hooooooonest. She's hot

Chris_Delia3 karma

Never. I don't do that shit. I keep it real street when I'm on set.

lost__374 karma

Why are German muzhafuckas so scary?

Chris_Delia4 karma

Because nobody's creepier than Germans.

Cakeman94 karma

Last night, I tweeted at you saying you were the funniest person on Earth. For one second, by favouriting my tweet you acknowledged my existence, so thanks for that.

Chris_Delia18 karma

Always appreciate your support, thank you.

yoshmeister4 karma

How funny is Whitney Cummings really? Because she seems hilarious. Please let her be hilarious in real life!

Chris_Delia9 karma

I love that woman she is hilarious.

pajafa4 karma

Do you and Comedy Central pick one of the two shows you performed for your special or mix bits from both?

Chris_Delia11 karma

It's mostly from the second one. But we used a few parts from the first show.

willabtsm4 karma

Why do you appear somewhat ghetto and unintelligent and slangy in some comedy performances on YouTube but pretty intelligent in your vines and other videos?

Chris_Delia19 karma

I guess I don't know what you're talking about. I'm always messing around and having fun. So maybe you're just catching my vibeeeeeees brooooo.

IAmClaytonBigsby3 karma

Was there ever a time that you almost gave up comedy? If so, what happened?

Chris_Delia12 karma

I can honestly say that there was never a time when I remotely thought about that.

platinum903 karma

Do you keep in touch with Aaron Paul after Bad Girls of Valley High?

Chris_Delia6 karma

Yes. He's a friend. Love him.

avar143 karma

What was happening during the vine you made where that truck exploded?

Chris_Delia6 karma

Who knows!??!?!?

BettiePaige3 karma

Serious question, What do you look for in a woman?

Chris_Delia24 karma

She has to be able to laugh at herself. Also looks? Is that bad?