IAmA East Indian girl who was disowned by her family because my boyfriend is white. Now living in a shelter. AMA

How is it more disgraceful to have a non-Indian boyfriend than it is to have a homeless daughter.

amen

Why don't you live with your boyfriend?

My uncle threatened to kill his family. Yes police were involved, along with his mother being notified of the threat. His mother loves me and of course would offer to have me stay there, but for right now its best to be safe and prove to my family i can manage on my own. i have practically had everything handed to me my whole life

How old are you, if I may ask? Can't you both afford to rent a small 3x3 square meter place of your own? P.S. Im not judging, just wondering. I live with my gf for a while now, we rent a room, a very small room, but it doesn't matter much to us for now.

Well, im 19, and im working on getting on welfare at the moment, just so i can get a place RIGHT away, this women's shelter is only for 30 days and living with my boyfriend isnt the best choice right now. So once i am on welfare and i find a cheap place, i will be back job hunting to pay for my own home & get back to university

I always have wondered why immigrants come to western countries if they dislike the people in those countries so much. I never have received an answer to that.

Edit: Just to clarify, for example, I couldn't imagine moving to a place like Africa, and then freaking out if my daughter decides to date an African person. If it was really that important to stay culturally separate, I would stay home. It's pretty simple stuff.

My boyfriend was on the phone with one of my aunts last night and asked her "So if i came to India, and lived how i do in Canada, and disregarded your countries ways and beliefs, would that be acceptable?.. my aunt replied no.. so he asked, then why is it okay for you to come to Canada and live against our life-style and expect everything to be fine? She had no answer, and just like the rest of my family, they use the culture crutch again, when it has nothing to do with it, because i personally know several Indian girls who are dating white guys and its fine. This is solely on how my parents are reacting as individuals.

Sorry for the horrible situation you're in right now. I'm sure things will get better.

My question; How did you manage to escape home? You say you were forced to live inside 24/7 and sleep with mom so I imagine it wasn't easy?

I would very carefully sneak my house phone into the washroom and give my boyfriend a little 12 second update before i had to hang up and resume being watched again. It obviously didnt settle with my boyfriend when we had no contact for a week straight, so he alerted police of the situation and sent an officer to come check up on me, and that is where everything kinda unfolded. If it werent for him, i'd still be there

I don't understand the thought process of your family. Why did they move here if they are so culturally attached to India. Why don't they move back if they dislike the culture here?

My mother was brought here in the 70's by her mother to live a better life.. And then she got married to my father in India and brought him over here. I guess they stayed in Canada for the kids

This is horrible. I wish you nothing but the best and believe that yor family actually loves you, but they are very narrow-minded and have a very wrong conception if how things should be. You are not hurting them, but they believe you are, and they are certainly hurting you, much more than they'd probably realize and admit.

• How serious is your relationship with you boyfriend and how long have you two been together?

• Have you been intimate with him? Was that a factor in how you've been treated by your father?

• Have your religious beliefs changed at all with these events?

• What do you think about your parents and family?

• How do you feel about your whole situation and ordeal?

I wish you the best and hope everything will get better. I sincerely think it will, too.

Ive been with my boyfriend for about 8 months, we love each other to death and we both realize we are young and nothing is permanent, but ill remind you i didnt leave my home for the boyfriend. My family was under the impression me and my boyfriend were done when i was in captivity and they STILL were punishing me, whether i was with him or not.

We have had sex and my parents found out. Lets put it this way, my dad said he was going to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire. Literally. I called the cops once again immediately after hearing that.

Ill always have my faith.

And Ill always love them, but some things cannot be forgiven

What are you planning to do with your life now that you're living freely by yourself? E.g. Are you going to try to go back to university or are you going straight to the workforce?

Working as of now until i find my own apartment. Then i will get back into school. As for what i want to take? well, 3 months ago i had over $40,000 saved for my schooling, now i have around, well, $0.00. so.. slight change in plans

[deleted]

My father had threatened me with a bat of some sort before the cops came, so no, i was terrified and wouldve stayed put in fear of my life.

What do your parents find so objectionable about white people?

Western Culture in general, My father (Who is straight from India) expects me to live how he did in his village. You arent to question your father. He wants someone from the same cast and religion and colour

Where do you live now? (which country/state/etc). Also, how old are you?

edit - also, do you have any siblings?

Oh, sorry, i should've mentioned... I am 19 from British Columbia

You're doing the smart thing, but what is your boyfriend doing to support you in this? Are you planning on moving in together after you get a job and are going to school?

Product of an interracial Indian (Punjabi) - Japanese union here...also wanted to say you are very brave for doing what you are doing. I have been blessed to come from a family where mixed marriages are very common (even inter-religious...including Hindu-Muslim), and it enrages me when I read about crap like this...cultural mixing has been a blessing for us, and has allowed us to appreciate cultural diversity more than not. This kind of thinking is sooooo backwards, and my Pop says how they should move back home if they want to keep things the way they are.

There really is no point in trying to convince them, prejudice like this is ingrained in them from birth, they can only come around if you show it can succeed...not saying they will come around, but if they do, it has to be something they have to do on their end.

Good luck, and never hesitate to ask for help K?

Edit: My parents are the interracial couple (by "product" I meant I'm their son ;p)

My boyfriend has pretty much taken complete care of me since i've left, but he's also made sure that im not dependent on him and that we always stay progressive, I.e looking for work and such. This whole dilemma is still rather fresh

We are 19. If we do move in any time soon that would just add enormous pressure on the both of us. I will have a place to stay after the shelter, i have applied for welfare so i can find a place immediately, though i plan on getting off welfare ASAP when i find a job. My boyfriend works and is going to university, he's very mature and has been handling this situation more than perfectly.

Thanks for everything that you said, it truly means alot