I am a 21 y/o dwarf AmA

My one year old son has achondroplasia, thanks for doing this AMA. Is there any advice you would give to someone growing up with achondroplasia? Would you give any advice to someone raising a kid with it?

Here’s what I told a father prior regarding having a child with dwarfism. If you would like to dm me regarding any other questions after this post is locked you absolutely should.

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/abPwmUHKbw

How do you feel about folks using 'little people' vs 'dwarfs'?

I personally have no care about either, the only term I don't enjoy is midget. That word was used against me my entire childhood, my fathers childhood, and his fathers childhood.

You hit the lottery as far as dwarfism goes (average lifespan, relatively few risks, no mental deficit) - what's your biggest challenge?

I have to agree with what you've said, there are far worse kinds of dwarfism to have, if I were forced to choose it'd be no question to choose pseudoachondroplasia.
I'd have to say the biggest challenge is finding employment, there is a lot of discrimination that happens for being disabled regardless of how disabled. Not a lot of workplaces want to take a chance on a disabled person. I can't speak for all jobs of course but particularly in the blue collar lines of work it is rare to see an employer willing to take said chance.

Have you noticed changes in societal attitudes toward dwarfism — e.g., have people become more accepting and sensitive? In particular, I have wondered if Peter Dinklage hitting the big time as a truly outstanding actor not defined solely by his stature might have shifted the way people look at dwarfism.

In school kids were intrigued but quite rude regarding it. A lot of bullying resulted from it. Although after school and into adult life people were interested in a much nicer way, people asking questions, buying me drinks, and just wanting to be friends. I think the way people respond towards it comes with age. I do believe that with a society that doesn't view disabilities as a abnormal thing we could reach a point where kids with disabilities could feel normalized, but with kids there will always be the wonder of why is this person different.
I personally have not noticed much regarding Peter Dinklage and the change in the view of dwarfism, although he is by far my favorite dwarf actor.

How’s the dating scene for you?

I had a prior girlfriend not long back, Its not terribly hard to find relationships, although a large majority of women are to focused on height being a determining factor for relationships. The last girlfriend I had was average height for a woman, and didn't seem to mind much.
I guess I'd say it's hit or miss.

I’m a teacher and have a student with achondroplasia. Is there anything that you wish teachers would have done/not done that would have helped you in school? I do have step stools and keep things down low.

When I was in school I found my self glossed over by teachers. If I were to raise my hand it would go unnoticed, which I can partially blame on the lack of height. Eventually teachers gave me placard type cards to raise higher so I could be seen still. I was allowed extra time in-between classes to get from and to class, as well as going early to lunch as to not fight the lunch lines. Those were probably the most helpful, although they would probably require a 504 plan or the equivalent wherever you are from.
I also had a close friend who would basically go with me every where to help with getting stuff out of my reach and push me in a wheelchair if the situation arose.

What's a common assumption or misconception people have about dwarfism that you've encountered?

I'd say that the biggest misconception is that it's fun. Growing up I had a lot of people tell me they wish that they were dwarfs. It's painful, difficult, and life gives little to no accommodation towards people of short stature.

What's your go-to drink, and your guilty pleasure or indulgence drink?

What challenges do you face that most people do not realize?

What do you want people to know about people with dwarfism?

What is something about you that makes you happy?

Amaretto sour or anything tequila.

Basic everyday tasks like getting dishes down from cabinets, getting a glass of water, taking the trash out, Etc. It's the mundane things that are easy for average height people that are more difficult for me.

I'd say I wish more people would realize people with dwarfism are just like everybody else, I find a lot of people treat me like a child regardless of age.

The never ending jokes I can say regarding myself are pretty enjoyable.

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a combination of James Franco and Andy Samberg?

I've gotten Pete Davidson, Sal from impractical jokers, Lin Manuel Miranda, but never James Franco and Andy Samberg.

Mechanic. You’re a car guy?

Absolutely a car guy, first car I purchased on my own was a 1967 Ford Mustang with the straight 6 and a c4 transmission. Car was rotted beyond belief but for $800 I couldn't say no.

Fave car?

1969 Plymouth Roadrunner. First car I ever worked on that got me interested in cars. I was probably 10 years old doing stuff with my grandpa on that car. Peaked my interest and I never looked back.

🙄you need to meet my friend Pete. He’s a Mopar guy. Makes sense that a failed Plymouth made and bred another mopar guy. Coolest car you ever worked on?

Coolest car was probably a mid 40s studebaker pickup truck. Never see many of those around, so it was fun to work on something a bit rarer.

What are your plans for the future?

I'd like to one day open my own shop, and do custom restoration work on classic cars. That's what I started out doing and would like to end doing.

Glad you stopped smoking. You look confident and seem to have it together. Are there any career constraints that come about of your condition?

Glad you seem to be staying positive and you're here putting it all on the line! Great work.

Yes and no. There is definitely issues with leverage and lifting heavy objects, but I have almost always found ways to adapt to my surroundings as the surroundings will almost never adapt to me.

I’m curious as what your option is when someone who doesn’t have dwarfism and they’re talking to you, do you want them to get down on your level to speak with you or have them stand? Is it considered rude/demeaning in a way when bent over/lowered?

I find getting down on a knee is quite odd, I wouldn't say demeaning but its definitely not normal. I would prefer to just stand normally when talking to me. Just like a 6 foot person talking to a 5 foot person, they don't crouch down slightly to meet the eye line.

You mentioned the jokes, what's your favourite?

My personal favorite is one of my own.
I walked up to a group of women smoking cigarettes and asked them for a light, once they lit my cigarette I took a slow inhale and said "Y'know you really shouldn't smoke. It stunts your growth." I walked away before they could say anything, but that is by far the best joke regarding the dwarfism in my opinion.

Are your knees and elbows flexible enough? I feel like I've always seen dwarfs move like stickmen (and you mentioned arthritis so I suppose it's not just a feeling)

I actually have hypermobility in a lot of my joints, so I'd say yes to the being flexible enough. There are certain types of dwarfism where they have less mobility in their joints than the average person.

A mechanic with arthritis and scoliosis? Ouch.

I was going to ask if you ever use your stature as an advantage while working on cars, but I see in another post you don’t like necessarily like working in cramped areas.

I guess that’s like asking a very tall person if they play basketball.

Have you specialized any tools to help you work?

I never did make any custom tools for myself, I mostly preferred longer tools such as breaker bars as having the extra leverage is always helpful.
It kind of goes back to a previous comment where I was forced to acclimate to my surroundings rather than force the surroundings to change.

Do you have to go to the doctor regularly?

When I was young somewhat, but not so much anymore, I currently have a torn MCL so its been a bit more common than normal.

Has a potential partner ever fetishized your dwarfism? Also is the Weiner proportionate or nah?

I have had a few men try to although I don't swing that way. There is one guy who keeps trying to pay me to sleep with him and I can almost guarantee its due to the height.

Everything is proportionate I suppose, in that department I am above average.

Maybe a weird one, but do you have any self proclaimed perks of being a dwarf?

Being 21 now, how did it affect your social situations during school age?

Same as above, but your dating life?

Also, unrelated to everything else, does pineapple belong on pizza.

I think the only perk that I've experienced more than once is that people tend to buy me drinks at the bar more often than others.

There was a lot of bullying regarding the height but I also made most of my current friends from the jokes being made regarding the height. Although the friends I have now were more open and curious than the rest.

During school age I did not do much dating, I had a good few hookups but never with anyone from the school I went to. The school I went to was a very gossipy school so I preferred to keep my intimate life away from such.

Pineapple is great on its own, pizza is great on its own, but not always does two positives make a positive. So no it absolutely does now.

One time I found a dwarf here on Reddit with an 8 inch cock. How lucky were you in the junk department?

He's just a bit bigger than I am.

Did/do you get offended when friends or friendly people jostle with you or picked you up etc.?

I've never enjoyed being picked up as it feels very demeaning to be just lifted off the ground regardless of who its by. I have one friend who has essentially no limits when it comes to my dwarfism, but we've been friends since the 5th grade so.

What’s your favorite sandwich?

BLT hands down.

What's your favorite type of equipment/vehicle to work on?

Least favorite?

Almost anything euro/jdm is my least favorite. I started working on cars with the classic american muscle cars. 60-70s mopars, fords, and chevys. So trying to work on those is out of my wheelhouse.

where do you buy clothes?

I tend to buy clothes from just about anywhere and make them to my fit. Obviously my legs and arms are a bit shorter than average so I wind up hemming them to fit.

How has your dating life been? Do you see yourself getting married to a dwarf or non-dwarf?

My dating life has been pretty normal I would say, there has been the fair share of women who value height more than I prefer but everyone has a preference. I have had a few girlfriends in relationships that have lasted pretty long. I'm not one to jump into relationships willy nilly. I wouldn't prefer a dwarf over a non dwarf or vice versa, I don't see myself ever getting married as I don't much enjoy the idea of it.

Why do you no longer smoke weed?

How long did you smoke for?

What's your go to drink at the bar?

What are you views on cigars?

I no longer smoke weed due to extended use of acid and shrooms. I was using those every other day in high doses for a few months while smoking weed. Once I quit acid and shrooms I had panic attacks from smoking weed.

I started smoking weed at 13ish.

My favorite drink is an amaretto sour, but I'm also a sucker for anything tequila.

I enjoy cigars, albeit I'm definitely not the most knowledgeable about them. I enjoy cigars with a drink or with a nice meal.

Do you find it easier to work on Japanese and Korean cars where everything is packed in their so stupid tight or is it still a pain in the ass even with your tiny dwarf fingers? I always wished I had small hands when working on Hondas, Kias, etc.

I'd say yes but I almost never work on jdm stuff as I'm not to knowledgeable about them compared to classic muscle cars. I always did enjoy miatas but never worked on any. I enjoy small block chevys more than anything as there is almost always so much room to work in.
The one thing I hate doing is under dash work, I'm the perfect fit for it, yet its still not comfortable.