IamA former supervisor for TSA. AMA!

Do you see many good-meaning passengers forget about weapons or any other dangerous things they normally keep in their bags?

All the time. One guy forgot that he had left his pistol in his bag and ended up going to jail for 6 months or so.

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

Coincidentally, I've picked up more than a couple bags that have started to vibrate. It was always a bit surprising for a second.

I have a beard, brown skin and a nervous disposition, how likely is it the something 'random' will happen to me on arrival?

Depends on what you mean by random. Without going into detail, random checks at the checkpoint usually actually are random (e.g., the equipment prompts a random check). Keep in mind that the average TSO is extremely lazy and has other things to do. The last thing they generally want to do is go through your things or whatever.

However, being extremely nervous may prompt additional search from the behavior detection officers (the people whose job it is to stare at everybody). See here for a better explanation.

What's the most ridiculous thing someone tried to take on a plane that they were actually allowed to take? Thanks for the AMA by the way!

Somebody took a golf club through the checkpoint and said it was their cane. We weren't allowed to question him.

What was the weirdest thing you had to flag at an security check? Please tell full story behind it, if you can.

I once had a request for private screening, which we usually took to mean that we were about to see something weird. The bag was incredibly heavy.

After we go behind a curtained-off area, the passengers show me 6 blocks of mixed metal, 4 huge bags of random pieces of gold, and 2 bags of human teeth. Apparently, the couple made a killing off of buying teeth from a crematorium, melting out the fillings, and selling the resulting metal.

It smelled bad.

What type of vacuum you use?

My wife bought a stupidly overpriced Kirby from a door-to-door salesman a few years ago. It generally smells like burning.

What is the procedure if a security agent broke my phone/other electronics?

File a claim here.

That being said, you really need to be sure that it was someone from TSA who broke your item. In checked baggage, TSA generally doesn't even touch 90% of the bags that get screened (conveyor belts get the bags through the x-rays). The airlines' baggage people, on the other hand, tend to be incredibly rough on bags.

What happens to confiscated items like pocket knives and other items that are accidentally forgotten and brought through TSA?

They go into storage rooms, and TSA eventually pays somebody to take them away. At my airport, we had a couple of oil drums full of random knives and tools. Our airport paid some guy 3 states away to take the items away; he'd put them on eBay.

What is the craziest thing somebody has ever tried to take onto a plane?

A bag full of fireworks.

what's the weirdest thing you found in someones luggage??

During checked baggage screening, one of my officers opened a bag that has maggots crawling all over the inside.

How often did you guys actually find something prohibited trying to be brought through security?

Edit: fixed punctuation

Depends on what you mean by "prohibited." We'd find an oversize liquid item once every 6 people or so. We usually caught about a dozen knives per day, and maybe one gun a month.

Im In the ARMY as an EOD tech. I'm about to get out, and was wondering what you look for when you hire a bomb appraisal officer? I would love to do that job when i get out.

You'll probably fit in great. Most of the BAOs were former military/law enforcement from EOD backgrounds. The ones in my airport were retired E-6s from the Army. The government also adds 5 points to your interview score (out of 100) for having military experience.

Do you know what they do day to day?

They're there for assessing potential bombs, of course. Their main job is training, though—showing screeners what initiators look like, stuff like that.

The BAOs once took a group of us out to a test range to watch them blow stuff up, which was kind of awesome.

I was in an airport bathroom stall yesterday, getting some deodorant out of my bag, when some dude walks up and just stands in front of the door. I open the door and a blonde dude in his mid-twenties is standing there and quickly sizes me up, peers into the stall, then walks over to a urinal and pretends to pee. As I leave the restroom there's an obvious agent standing near the entrance. Do TSA agents do shady stuff like that? If so, why? I'm 21 and don't look suspicious whatsoever.

Only in Minneapolis, apparently.

Are you worried they will see you doing this?

Yes. Mostly, I'm just worried that I'll accidentally say something about procedures I'm not supposed to.

A TSA agent once made me take my parrot out of his carrier so he could inspect the inside. I was terribly embarrassed, and especially afraid of him flying away (which he didnt, luckily). My husband is active duty in the military, so I will have to fly with him again. Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening?

EDIT: originally I was looking for an alternative to taking him out, like maybe paperwork or an alternative scan, but I love everyone's creative suggestions!

The problem is that you weren't able to send the carrier through the x-ray, so there's no way of knowing that, for example, you hadn't rigged your carrier up as a bomb. If your parrot will stay on your shoulder/arm, you could try to take it with you through the metal detector and send the carrier through the x-ray.

Why does the policies change based off the airport or even TSA person?

The basic SOP that most officers have to know is several hundred pages long; few of them have actually read the whole thing and are essentially relying on word of mouth. Taken alone, the individual restrictions make some sense, but combined, they're a mess for anybody to figure out. For example, bowling balls are presumably allowed because they're not weapons, but bludgeoning items (baseball bats, clubs) aren't because they can be used as weapons. When it's all put together, it's a mess.

What's the best way to make your case when the screener thinks an item isn't permitted, even though the regulations explicitly allow it.

Ask them to call a supervisor and check the SOP.

I recently discovered that you can bring nips in your liquids bag, this was a game changer for me, instead of paying $8 on the plane I can bring my own in for $1-2 a piece. What other little known tips do you have for flying or getting through security?

It's actually illegal to drink alcohol that you've brought onto a plane and hasn't been served by a flight attendant; it's in the small print of most in-flight magazines.

If you want to save $25 on checking a bag (assuming there are no liquids greater than 3.4 oz in it), take it with you through the checkpoint and to the plane; then, ask the airline to gate-check it.

What has been your most frightening moment on the job? Thanks for the AMA!

You're welcome! I once opened a checked bag and saw what looked like a PVC tube with lights and wires sticking out under some clothes. I promptly flipped out and thought I was looking at a pipe bomb.

Then, I moved some clothes out of the way and saw that it was a prosthetic hand.

What was the craziest thing you have dealt with while on duty?

I'm not sure if it's the craziest thing, but Dennis Hof of Cathouse fame once yelled at me because the x-ray "crushed" his $10,000 hat.

We see a lot of anti-TSA material on reddit.

What was the average level of TSA hate amongst passengers? Like was it 0.01, 1 , 5 or 20% who actively hated the TSA and let you know about it?

Most of the frequent travelers were fine with us, or at least they knew not to take it out on us. I'd guess that about 15–20% actively complained throughout the screening process or were otherwise not happy campers.

The people who hated us the most tended not to be frequent flyers. We'd get a ton of old women who heard on the news that we were out to grope them. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "This is why I don't fly!", well...I'd have enough for a nice dinner.

Thanks for doing this!

How would you change the security system if you had free reign to do so (from basic steps/regulations to complete redesigns)?

TSA likes to solve problems with new "stuff." You'll notice that things like the backscatter machines and "puffers" didn't last long, but cost hundreds of millions. Also, the average screener is very good at finding dangerous items; they're not very good at finding dangerous people. I'd scale back much of the newer technology, add better training on warning signs when dealing with people, and pour more money into law enforcement and intel.

One time the TSA found a snowglobe in my sisters bag and i believe it had to be shipped back home to us because it wasn't allowed on the flight. That being said, has there ever been a time when something wasn't allowed to go through the line and you think it's a bit excessive?

For the longest time, snow globes weren't allowed because there was no way to test whether the liquid inside was explosive (no lid to unscrew, etc.). They allow small snow globes now, thankfully.

I once had to call law enforcement and write a huge report because some kid left a toy gun in a bag (granted, it was metal, and the x-ray image was extremely scary-looking). My manager called it a "realistic replica," even though it clearly had an orange cap on it and everything.

Okay, sex toys. How often did you find those in luggage? Anything really kinky?

All the time. I once found a two-foot long, black double-header surrounded by dirty thongs and a huge bottle of anal lube.

What's the worst or most desperate thing anyone has done to get a prohibited item past check.

You would not imagine the tears and drama people will go through to try to keep a $10 bottle of hair spray. Generally, it wasn't worth my job to let prohibited items go.

What is the biggest thing that passengers do that, if they didn't, would make the lines move much quicker?

Forget to take their liquids and laptops out of their luggage. It was seriously on 8 signs leading up to our checkpoints, but nobody actually reads signs on their way to a 6 AM flight.

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No.

What are your thoughts on this video "Terminal Insecurity" by VICE News? http://www.vice.com/vice-news/terminal-insecurity

Essentially it depicts how many weapons can be made from items readily available at the Hudson News just past security.

I thought it was pretty awesome. Systems that don't get challenged don't grow or evolve. Vice News is incredible.

Why are you the way that you are?

Psychology would say a mix between nature and nurture, although the exact mix has been debated for decades.

Why is the hiring process so difficult? I applied for close to 10 jobs, passed the xray tests, passed security clearance, did everything on the lists online. Then I got one email about an airport 10 states away for a part time job.

The process took about 6–12 months for almost everybody I worked with; I was lucky, in that it only took 4 months or so. Frankly, the hiring qualifications are pretty low. There's a lot of competition to get government benefits and an okay salary.

Are TSA agents more or less likely to get away with things in security when they're flying for a personal trip?

I'd love a story about one of them getting caught trying to take something on the plane when they know better. Any stories?

I used to always get my stuff searched when I flew for forgetting a bottle of water or something trivial.