I'm Dylan Moran, Comedian & Co-Creator of the TV Show, "Black Books" - AMA!

Did your non-returnable outgoings for the first half of the year exceed your deductions for quarterly VAT returns?

Only at the terminal point of inbound outward exchanges. No differentials were exposed. Except possibly on the index of non returnables, but I did buy a lot of ritz crackers

Hi Dylan! How much of Bernard Black is based on your real personality and experience?

Nothing. Not one little bit. Maybe a little bit. Several bits. OK all of it. Nothing! None of your business. Go away.

Hey Dylan. I really loved Black Books. Do you have any more sit-com ideas in the works?

Thank you, I am working on something as it happens. I’m planning to make a noise about it in LA.

Was it your real arse at the end of Run Fatboy Run? Or did you draft in a stunt arse?

How dare you. My arse is in demand all over the world. Mongolia, right now, is out of control.

How dare you. My arse is in demand all over the world. Mongolia, right now, is out of control.

Hi Dylan! You look like you hate social media. Why do you do this?

Because the alternative means getting a job

Your work is exceptional in that it’s pretty grounded in reality and hard truths. I feel like you have a genuine curiosity that comes through which makes the experience of your comedy feel like more than “Entertainment” or “watching a show”, although it does happen to to be entertaining at the highest levels. Basically I’m trying to say that I feel like your work is incredibly valuable.

Would you ever, or have you ever considered (writing or otherwise) doing something like The Colbert Report -or any format really- of News/Political commentary?

In a way I’d love to have a go at this kind of thing, but I think I get side tracked by the mechanics of the madness we refer to as current affairs. We distract ourselves with the names and faces of the actors because the events are so chaotic, the warnings and the cries of ‘havoc’ never stop. I suppose shouting from inside the television is a relief from shouting at it.

I just have one question - how do you act drunk so well in Black Books ?

By reading about what happened to people when they drank wine.

What are you doing? Where are you? What’s wrong with you? How are you still alive?

What I’m always doing, banging my potty and screaming to be noticed. What took you so long? Are you really wearing that? When will you be back?

If I offered you 1000 Euro to throw a brick at a panda, would you?

There are far too many elements in this question and not enough detail

What is the best advice you've been given?

Not that leopard

Would you consider doing podcast shows? So fans still could hear your voice and thoughts.

They can’t hear?
I’m doing all this thinking for nothing? Did nobody even get April 2004?

What question are you sick of getting asked, apart from "why are you in such a bad mood"?

Love your work, thanks for your recent trips to the states.

I get asked: What are you doing? Where are you? What’s wrong with you? How are you still alive?

So, what does Grumbling Mustard mean?

I’m not sure, it’s something that has to do with things taking a turn in your mind’s eye late at night when the edges fray, the floor rocks a little, but only you seem to notice.

Hey Dylan - Thanks for doing this! Do you have to alter your comedy routine when you're in the US vs the other side of the pond? Also, is Bill Bailey always that disheveled-looking?

I try to talk to people, wherever I am as though we have already been talking for a while as a way of not wasting too much time; although I have no idea what I’m talking about, because it’s important to waste some time

I love your comedy, especially your ability to use surreal imagery to capture a very real moment or feeling. Is this something that comes naturally to you, or is it hard work refining the imagery show after show until it feels right?

Yoga, milk baths - any milk, except condensed

Huge huge huge huge fan! I judge people based on whether they enjoy your stand up or not. I couldn't have a boyfriend if he didn't LOVE your comedy, he'd go insane.

Preface: I'm going to see Grumbling Mustard in Portland, OR on the 26th.

Question: is there anything I should bring? Cake? An eclair? Chocolate? Wine? (We could share a bottle 😉) All of the above? What do you like?

Thank you for your time Sincerely yours

Thank you very much. Bring all your boyfriends and all your cakes. Go get a room to sort out your priorities. Don’t argue with your mouth full of eclair. Nobody believes that shit.

Dylan, which American custom confuses you the most?

I’m amazed and fascinated by the dedication to good humor and people being cheerful no matter what. At least in their public selves. On some days it seems like a very good idea on others you worry its a recipe for insanity.

Who, besides you, is the funniest comedian alive?

They’re alive, but only just

Love you, Dylan! Are there any comedians you always enjoy watching? And do you have any advice for a beginner comedian? Cheers!

Watch Ali Wong, Hans Teewuen and Dave Chappelle’s stuff on race is pretty amazing. Advice: Get up and have a good time.