I am a teenager with blind parents, AMA

Were you able to get away with a lot of shenanigans, since your parents couldn't see the things you might have been hiding?

Not really, I never felt the need too. I snuck some cookies as a little kid, but turns out my mom always could hear me.

To your mom: what do dreams look like? As a sighted person in my head it's like a film. Has she ever dreamed of colors??

She says good dreams look bright, bad dreams look dark. She can't see anything, but she can do things like driving that she can't usually do

Do you ever get mad at them and rearrange the furniture?

No, lol, but I might have to now

Is it worthwhile to describe what things look like? Or just pointless? My husband's great aunt is legally blind and my in-laws are always describing things to her (decor, clothes, appearances, not important stuff). I'm not sure if she finds that useful or interesting or if she is just being polite. She has not always been blind though, so maybe it's different.

My mom finds it very interesting. She wants her clothes to match, and is interested in the color of things, even though she can't see color.

As a kid, how’d you get around? Since your parents couldn’t drive you places, did you take public transport or did you have someone else drive?

We mostly did walking and busses, and some ubers and lyfts when busses would not go there

Have your folks ever said you can’t go out looking like that?

No, but I think it's more a girl thing. My parents have told my older brother that he shouldn't wear shorts and a sweat shirt. When we were little we they made sure we matched so people didn't think they didn't take care of us.

Are you blind or is there any chance of you becoming blind? Does that scare you or are you comfortable to see people can be happy even though they are blind?

Good question! No, I am not blind (I actually have better than average vision with my glasses) and there is no extra risk for me, although my aunt on my mom's side is also blind, so it may run in the family.

I definitely would not want to be blind, but I don't think I am as scared as the average person. I would miss out on some things I enjoy like photography and video games, but I know I could still function and enjoy life.

How did your parents get together? Is there a meet-cute story there?

They met working a summer program for blind kids. My dad proposed at the end of the program 2 years later

Ok, this question might just be because I have young kids, but.... how then hell does a blind person change a diaper? I just can't imagine any way I could pull it off with my eyes closed. Mad props to your parents!

She says practice

Do your parents like audiobooks?

My mom does, although she prefers reading braille. My dad does not, but he can read print.

Do you assist as a caregiver or aide to your parents? Are you expected to, or do you plan on stay living at home long term to help them out?

No, never. They have always taken care of me. I do not plan on staying long term, and I already have a brother who has moved out. Blind people are a lot more independent than people seem to think.

Thanks for answering, I hope it didn’t sound judgmental! Your parents sound pretty rad.

It's fine! There are no stupid questions

If I may ask another? You mentioned your dad is legally blind, but not totally blind. Has he had any success with treatments or prescription eyewear? Or is it totally non fixable?

Without glasses he is 20:800, meaning he sees the same amount of detail at 20 ft that someone with perfect vision sees at 800 ft. He wears glasses that change it to 20:200. When he was in his 20s, he had contacts that gave him 20:60 vision, but it gave him horrible headaches so he stopped using them.

Do they have a favorite movie? TV show?

My mom's favorite TV show is This Is Us and favorite movie is Steel Magnolias

My dad's favorite movie is Duel

Why did I think the proof picture would be you shining a really bright light into your mom's eyes?

Haha, no, but her dad used to shine light in her eyes late at night because the eye doctor did not think she had light perception, and he wanted to prove she did. It's one of her earliest memory's

Firstly hello how are you doing?. Secondly do you ever fear you may lose your sight one day and does it scare you?

I'm doing good

I answered that in another comment, but not very, no. I still don't want to lose my sight, but I know I can function

Are you fluent in reading braille? Do you know how to use a braille writer machine? Do your parents use a Perkins Brailler or the new modern speech to text braille electronic gadgets?

I can read braille, but I am not fluent. I just read letter by letter. I only know how to write with a slate and stylus.

My mom uses a Perkins for some writing, but also has a braille display to write on her phone, and can type on a laptop.

Has there been times when you wish they could just see like I know you would want them to always but like stand out times? Now that I've written this question it sounds silly but I hope you get what I mean.. What's something different you think having both of them blind you've learnt in your upbringing? And when you where a kid how did they teach you stuff like this is a duck ECT... ?

There are no specific time I can think of, I'm just so used to it. I do remember one day when I was playing and asked my mom if she saw me, and she said she couldn't but she knows I did good and it really clicked for me that she couldn't see.

I think having blind parents taught me to be more accepting in general, and learned that blindness is not the end of the world. We also did more walking/bussing.

My Dad could see things to point them out, but my mom would listen for things and also use books to teach me.

My dad is half blind lost his eye as a kid I found it so cool as he has a glass eye. Thanks for your replies.

What's something else you find interesting about it ?

One thing interesting that no one thinks about is how hard it would be to regain sight. You would get overwhelmed, and have to relearn things like reading and writing.

Three(ish) questions :

1 - Is that you in the green shirt with the square framed glasses?

2 - Does mom find it easy to locate stuff in her bag/purse? Does she have a method?

3 - Why??? Just why??? Why do you have an outlet with USB ports if you are going to plug in an adapter?

Thanks

1. No comment

2. She just shoves stuff in, but thats more her being unorganized then a thing related to blindness

3. Fast charge

How did you get to school and around town as a child?

Busses and walking, and uber and lyft when they bacame a thing

In the deaf community, I've read that there can be a sense of pride, in that they don't see themselves as differently abled- they would not ask for hearing ability even if they had the option. Have you guys noticed anything like that in the blind community?

I agree with the other response, but one little thing I thought id add is that my mom would only take an operation to see if it was free or vary cheep. She is worried because she would have to learn to read and write all over again.

What is the support around you like e.g. friends, family, teachers?

I don't think anything out of the ordinary. My parents raised me like any others would. I have friends and 2 brothers, and some family that I'm close too.

Is the house decorated at all? Or is it simply functional?

They are definitely decorations, but not as much as some other family's. Don't think it's because of blindness, more us kids not wanting to much stuff all around

What caused the blindness in both of them?

For mom, leber's amorous and she was born with it

For dad, he was born premature Nad was given too much oxygen

Did you ever just not bother getting dressed if you werent planning on going out?

No, especially because my dad can see some. But even without that, it would just feel weird

My dad is missing an eye and my mom is legally blind, and they both are experiencing their vision deteriorating. My mom has Retinita Pigmentosis (spelling?) and my dads vision is just getting worse with age - his mom has a lazy eye that lost vision not long ago and we’re afraid that the same thing will happen to him. I’m pretty sure that I am going to have to take care of them sooner or later. It’s not the practical day-to-day stuff I’m worried about - I already lead my mom by the elbow when we’re in public spaces, I know to keep the house today so as not to cause my mom to trip over stuff she can’t see, etc. I’m worried about the existential stuff.

All this context given to ask this question: how do your parents deal with the non-practical aspects of being blind? Are there support groups? Other resources? My parents are very bad about discussing their feelings, especially with their kids. How can I make sure their emotional needs, as they relate to their loss of sight, are taken care of?

Appreciate your time.

My parents are very involved with the Nfb, and I would definitely recommend finding a nfb training center in your state to help your parents learn to function without sight.

What advice can your parents give to someone loosing their vision? Any life lessons?

Mom says to get training in blindness skills and to remember you can still live the life you want

Did you get tired of having to compensate and help them as the sighted person in the family when you should just be doing kid things? I know that first generation kids get tired and stressed with translating, figured it would be same.

I don't feel like I have to help out much. Both my parents are independent thanks to training from the nfb