We are the filmmakers behind 5secondfilms.com AMA! or rather "Ask Us Anything!"

Would you fuck me Jon?

I'd fuck me so hard.

OH GOD DAMMIT ...I mean I guess if you would and I don't know you and my girlfriend (reddit points!) was cool with it then... yes. (JS)

Follow up: is the flip-a-baby still on sale? I need one badly.

haha... we were working on trying to find a spatula company that can engrave "Flip a Baby" in it but we haven't had any luck (MR)

Who wants some fucking nesquick?

Fun fact: I fucking ruined that door by doing that 20 times (since no one, including me, could stop laughing). (BF)

The film in question. Also you can hear Dan, who shot it, busting up the immediate moment after Brian says "Nesquik" (MR)

this makes it so much funnier

I could go for some fucking nesquik right about now... Where's that rabbit? (MEP)

I just tried Google searching for the Nesquik rabbit to see if I could find him. All I found were rule 34 sexy rabbits. I'm emailing all of the images to you now. Love, Jon B. (SMBC T)

Send them to me Jon! By the way when are we going to film some more madness!? (MR)

Reminds me of when I first discovered that, during the recording of Hey Jude, one of the Beatles (I think it was Paul) hit a wrong note and shouted "fucking hell" mid-recording. It can't be unheard, and they don't censor it on the radio. Source.

its actually john who shouts"WHOAH.. fucking hell"because the sound engineers sent the inserts on john's headphones of Pauls vocals came through really loud just as they where building to the chorus so john threw his headphones off and muttered it.

ALSO a FUN FACT about hey jude recording, before the drums ever came in..Ringo snuck off for a toilet break and came back literally bang on when the drums were supposed to come in, much to Macca to remark "he has impeccable timing"

I love it. Thanks Jesus (MR)

Have you ever had to throw out an idea that would've needed just a few extra seconds to work?

Hundreds. (BF)

1. Has anyone ever approached you, like a bigger company, to do projects for them, commercials etc.?
2. Any weird encounters with the fans?
3. Do you have any interesting upcoming projects - extended movie clip etc?
4. What do you guys think about the status quo comments on any video with Olivia in it - "dem titties" and such?
5. What is the history of Cinco de mayo?

You guys are amazing and geniuses and keep up the awesome work!

Edit - someone is downvoting everything.

1. Yeah, that happens a few times. We've done skits for eTextbook companies, community colleges and more. I'll post links in a bit.
2. Nothing weird on my end of things - just friendly hellos. Oh! One time a guy tried to stab me. But he didn't say anything about 5secondfilms. I assume he's familiar with my work, though.
3. We've got some new stuff comin' up on the horizon - a new webseries called "Tramps," a bigger focus on behind-the-scenes stuff, and there are murmurs of a DVD as well.
4. We're probably more irritated it with than they are. If you're ever walking behind an attractive girl, here's a fun thing to do: Just start noticing all the guys who stare at her as she walks by. (Answer: They all do) Now multiply that by every day of your life, for years since puberty. I imagine a lewd comment about titties must be as common to them as blinking by this point. But hell, they can weigh in if they want to.
5. SHUT THE FUCK....I can't anymore. I'm sorry. (BF)

Would you still answer a question on this AMA if it was cut short due to taking more than 5 seconds to rea

(MR)

What's your strategy for when someone comes out with 4 Second Films?

Watch their fame rise to unbelievable heights, as they rack up 2.4 million subscribers, gain upwards of 300 million page views, do a series of ads for McDonalds, Motorola and the 3DS, and sign a first-look deal with Paramount worth $12 million.

Oh, also we'll have fucking killed ourselves. (BF)

I just bought one of your fucking t-shirts. http://i.imgur.com/VhQPf.jpg

Whoo-hoo! Was it the AIDS shirt? Everyone likes the AIDS shirt. (MEP)

Nope, the classic 5sf logo one.

what? you got somethin' against AIDS? ...just kidding. Thanks for the support!!! (MEP)

Hahaha... your screen name made me laugh. Thank you! (MR)

1. Is there anything in the works to show ZANDERFLEX striking out as a kid, and what turned it all around? I've been waiting for one of these since the character first arrived.
2. What's the biggest accident you've had on set?
3. What stars (other than yourselves) have you booked for future 5SFs?
4. Do you drink before, during, or after every shoot?

• Yes.... but we got to see if the parents are willing to let us do certain dirty jokes.
• Erik's XL2 camera fell over when we were shooting the trailer for Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 and broke :(
• That's still up in the air right now.
• I don't know what you are talking about...[slurp] (MR)
• P.S. Your screen name is GENIUS!!! HAHAHA

1. A Zanderflex origin story? Hmmm. That's a damn fine idea.
2. We run very safe sets. No one has every been seriously hurt. We've stubbed some toes, bonked some funny bones, and occasionally someone will get hit in the face...usually by accident.
3. Its hard to say if anyone's "booked". There's some cool people we're trying to get, but we're never 100% until they actually show up. Dates often get postponed. Sometimes it's a very random, "Hey the guys from Cracked are down to shoot this weekend".
4. Yes, yes and yes. (MEP)

oh I forgot to sign that one... (MEP).... also the name "slutmuppet" is hilarious.

If you mess something up you can hit the edit button for any of your posts.

booyah! (MEP)

Who picks the oddly-perfect music for the intro and out-tro (is that a word)?

For the Week in Review videos on Youtube? That would be one Mr. Michael Rousselet. (BF)

whoever is editing usually picks the music. We have to be careful with copyrights, so we get a lot of stuff from archive.org or use generic royalty-free music. Michael Rousselet puts together all the Week In Reviews for youtube, so he picks the crazy music that you hear in the intro & outro (totally a word). (MEP)

you advertise that if you waste time, a viewer wouldn't be wasting more than 5 seconds of their life in an effort to promote your videos, yet I can never watch just one... and that time adds up. How do you feel about this false advertising?

Crap! He's on to us, boys! We gotta get out of here! cue fast-paced piano music and frantically run in circles (MEP)

:O (MR)

Ask your doctor if 5-Second Films is right for you (BF)

When I came up with that slogan, I had no idea it would stick. I was simply trying to fill up the new website templates with dummy text to see what the final version might look like. (DKH)

What do you guys do on a daily basis that makes you so awesome?

Rampart... Rampart...Rampart... (MR)

No question, just wanted to say you guys are great!

Thanks! (BF)

Double Thanks! (MR)

TRIPLE THAAAANKS! (MEP)

thaaaaanks (BG)

What's the history of 5second films?
I mean, what was the initial motivation to create a 5-second story and how did other people react to it?. The moment you realized of the infinite possibilities of this format. Was it like Ironman?

It started off as just an exercise. My friend and I lived on a dorm floor filled with cinema kids, so we just grabbed a camera from someone and we each made one 5sf a day for a week, as a sort of contest. Everyone would stop by our rooms to check our edits - it kind of became an event to see the new 5-second film he or I made.

Then a couple years later, we screened a bunch of 5-second films at USC's 24-hour film competition and it went over great. Almost every joke hit hard, and people got used to the quick rhythms of the pacing almost instantly. I knew then I had to make a website, but that wouldn't happen for a while longer, and by then my partner in crime went off to do other things.

So I went to my friend Michael Rousselet, since I made some 5sfs with him for an ill-fated Apple film competition and we started cooking up a new batch of 5sfs at his house (fun fact: Ben Gigli and I had never spoken one word to each other before Boarding School - that 5sf is literally a document of our introduction). Being the tireless promoter he is, he managed to convince the rest of the house that they should all jump on board. The rest is African History 201. (BF)

Will there ever be a vid with Kelsey and Olivia kissing?? ....Please??

we usually prefer to have them ripping each other's eyes out, breaking the other's jaw, shooting each other with guns. You know, sexy stuff. (MEP)

We did film that one... you haven't seen it!?! Weird... it must be locked in the 5sf vault somewhere.. bizarre! (KG)

im kissing k-gunn right now ......xx.x.x.x..x.xx.x.x. (OTD)

Have you made any videos that you regret?

The Pearly Gates (OTD)

Come back to us when Universal Music Group flags us for three different videos that violate copyright and our YouTube account is deleted. Then we'll have a better answer for you.(BF)

Have any of you considered leaving the site? It seems like you have kept your cast fairly consistent? How nice is the atmosphere?

Huge fan. Thanks again for all the laughs!

We all have dreams of bigger and better things but what would we do without 5sf? We've been doing this for so long and so consistently that it's been ingrained into our brains. I mean, in the end my goal is to not have to work stupid soul sucking jobs to stay financially afloat and just focus on comedy. I love 5sf and whenever I get exhausted and mentally drained (which happens a lot) from the grind I get cheered up when the site gets a really sincere email or comment from a fan. I've made a lot of friends because they love 5sf. Feels pretty good. Thanks :) (MR)

What Rouss said. The gratification comes from fans telling us they like our stuff, as well as the opportunity to work with cool people like the Cracked guys, C&H, BriTANicK, Patton, Puddin', Juliette Lewis, Weird Al, Laura Silverman, Greg Sestero and more. (BF)

More importantly, how many times has 5 Second Films got any of you laid?

HAHAHA... all I'm going to say is once in bed a girl said "ZANDERFLEX!" My face got soooooo red. (MR)

We're all creative people, filmmakers, actors etc who want to work on a lot of projects. But lucky there are a lot of us, and we're supportive of each other. Sometimes people will need to focus on another project for a while. I've had to do that a few times. Olivia shot a film in Serbia so we couldn't make 5sfs with her or a month. It was sad. But once she was back in the states she was back in 5sfs again. (MEP)

In Serbia? Can you elaborate? What movie?

I don't know how much I can elaborate. Sometimes these movies like to keep everything top secret. I can tell you it's called Chernobyl Diaries (MEP)

Who is the person/people who make the brilliant video descriptions?

I write 'em all. Sometimes when we make a confusing 5sf (which is about as rare as a lunar eclipse) I like to try explaining it a bit more with the description. It never works. People are still confused. But thanks for your kind words sir! (BF)

Hey, I'm the guy who recognized you as a Redditor on YouTube because you said "upvotes." So my question for you is, who had the fetish that led to Kelsey Cat? Also, how did you meet?

It was a group effort. When we don't have an idea we just start riffing or I'll just keep saying things off the top of my head (most of it is garbage) and one day I was just blankly shooting to the wind saying "uh... uh... Kelsey, is in a tree and I'm yelling at her to get down!" And then Kelsey made that cute, short "no!" it sounded like a cat, we all laugh fleshed out more ideas and thus Kelsey Cat was born.(MR)

Oh by the way! Thanks!!! (MR)

How the hell do you make enough money to book such big names for just 5 seconds of footage? It's mind-blowing to me and I've never understood it.

Sadly, we don't make money. We aren't pulling in the huge subscriber views like most mega YouTuber's do. Those awesome big name people come hang out for free because they like our videos and us :) Also I think the sheer amusement in the idea of filming a 5-secondfilm and seeing how the process works peaks their interest. We've been lucky. (MR)

I think you kinda answered your own question. (BF)

How long does it take to produce a 5sf, from writing the initial script to shooting/editing the skit itself?

It depends on how elaborate the joke. If the involvement requires a lot of make-up, set design, lighting, it can take anywhere from 5minutes to several hours! Keeping You Safe took almost 8 hours to finish because of all that make-up and dressing!! (MR)

All that delicious dressing. I demanded organic Newman's Own ranch. It was worth the trip to Ralph's. (BF)

UPBOATS FOR EVERYONE!!! This is the most fun I've had on Reddit in a day. Normally I'm slouched over with my head in my hand muttering a soft "huh, ahhhh" at every 20th post that's worthy. I've actually got feeling in my fingertips, and typing....my parents would be so proud. (TC)

How do I go about marrying Kelsey Gunn?

I'd defer to Kelsey, but I imagine you gotta be tall and vegan, just off the top of my head. (BF)

and you have to go through me (OTD)

Everyone: Favourite 5-second film?

Also, how cool was it to work with Weird Al?

Weird Al was amazing! Super nice guy, absolutely hilarious and all of us had grown up with his music (and UHF) and we was a great sport on running with some of stranger ideas, i.e. WEIRD OWL (today's film, which is also my new favorite.... "Richard Bitter's Favorite Joke" might be my next favorite). (MEP)

How did you get him to work with you?

We met Al through our mutual daily-internet-comedy-video friends who make Puddin'. They're also how we met James Urbaniak (the voice of Dr. Venture), Laura Silverman, and Eddie Pepitone. (MEP)

Love your videos, have been watching them for quite some time now!

My question, why aren't some of the older ones still up on the site? One of my older favourites 'Stegosaurus' is nowhere to be found :(

If your favorites include such older 5sfs as "Stegosaurus," "Mr. Mayor!!!," "Animal Cracker," "Ugly Betty," and "Lincoln's Great Escape," I'm very sorry. You'll never see them again. I started 5secondfilms with a friend of mine in college, and as the website started growing way back in 2008 or so, he politely asked that I take down any content he either created or starred in and remove his name from the project. We obliged, and by this point it's our hope that we've been able to put new favorites in your heart. If you don't like the new stuff, we'll jam it down your throat until you like it. LIKE IT!! LIKE IT NOW!! (BF)

Gah! This is heartbreaking to hear. I came in here to find out what happened to "Mr. Mayor," because that thing cracked my face off all the damn time (with laughter).

Don't worry, though, I continue to love the rest of your catalog.

It's plenty heartbreaking. They say time heals all wounds, but what about the wound of knowing you'll never get to see a mayor shit on a baby ever again? (BF)

Was the dildo used in Police Intimidation bought just for the film or did someone just happen to have a rubber dick laying around...and if so, who's was it?

We've had those dildos years! I think we first acquired them for Natural Selection. My favorite dildo 5sf is Campfire Stories. Best part is, that after all these years, they still smell like strawberries. (MEP)

Yeah, Erik bought those for the Natural Selection joke! It was hilarious. Then after having finished the 5sf we had these two dildos just sitting around the house we starting having "dildo wars" (hmmm new 5sf idea maybe... anyway) where we would hide them in peoples rooms, closets, drawers, taped it to people's shower heads, hide it in a box of cereal. I even stuffed one into Ben's work bag, but he caught it immediately before he left for his job because they smell like strawberry haha. It got to the point where you would walk into your room and then smell strawberry and immediately get suspicious. (MR)

Question for Jon S - Will you be in town for SXSW this year? Let me know if you want to film more 5sf that are too offensive to air. Like Kobe, Or California and Remote were filmed at my house. I feel special.

I've never met you but I LOVE "REMOTE!" You should feel special! Were you one of the actors? (MR)

I don't think I'll be in town for SXSW but I should be around for about a week in May, during which we should try to find more excuses to light Sean on fire! (JS)

Where do you get the underaged, innocent (?) kids that are in your movies?

Those are the Sloan triplets and they're fantastic. I met Robert Daniel Sloan when I was directing my first feature film and ended up casting him. Then we met his sister, Anastasia, and brother, Dartanian, and they became our go-to kids for 5secondfilms and sometimes get their friends and family when we need a bunch of kids. (MEP)

1. Does Pauly P. have any new tips and tricks?
2. What does Pauly P. do on his days off?
3. Everyday Dubstep: what was I even watching?

Hi dollartree,

1. I have new tips and tricks. But it would take a significant rally by the fans to see them. We try not to overuse certain characters.
2. Pauly P does several things on his days off. He shoots and edits weddings, he performs as his rap alter ego ANIMAL RAPS (youtube.com/animalraps), he reads lots of Superman comics, and he refers to himself in the 3rd person.
3. Everyday Dubstep was the product of the realization that the word Banana sounded like most dubstep beats.

I love you. (PP)

Describe your perfect Sundays.

Wake up in the morning...no barking from the dogs, no smog. Rousselet's made the breakfast with no hog. Everything is alright. I get a call from Brian and he can film all night. After we wrap I see the Goodyear blimp and it reads "Mike E. P.'s a pimp". Drunk as hell but no throwing up. Halfway home and pager's still blowing up. Today I didn't even have to us my AK. I got to say it was a good day. (MEP)

On second thought. Any day I don't have to use my AK is a good day (MEP).

Having already a back log of 10 5secondfilms so we don't have to shoot anything and we can go to the beach. (MR)

How do you get "super cool people" to be in your movies? Did they know about you beforehand, or were they just in the area?

We found Patton on the street and yelled at him. His natural defense mechanism, when approached by aggressive idiots, is to start crabwalking and let everyone around him know that he's crabwalkin'. Rather than run away, we told Ben it would be hilarious if he also started walking funny. We just filmed what happened. (BF)

How much sweet mulah do you think you'll be stuffing into your pockets after this IAmA drives people to your 5sf merch?

I don't have any pocket :( (MR)

True story. Rouss had to sell his pockets. (MEP)

And I bought him a pocket protector on the same day. (BF)

$40 I reckon. I also reckon you'll all buy the "Give Him AIDS!" shirt, which none of us can wear in Los Angeles for obvious reasons. (BF)

Who are some big names you're trying to book (or have already booked) to appear in upcoming episodes?

So many people I want in a 5sf!!!! Christopher Walken, Louis CK, Robin Williams, to name a few. I won't name anyone who we are working on booking because if I tell you and they bail on us I will be sad :( and you will be sad :( (MR)

Is there going to be a third installment of Renegade Pervert?

I think it's safe to say Renegade Pervert will be making another appearance. We do love his pervy ways. We've also kicked around the idea of Renegade Pervert t-shirts of coffee mugs or something. (MEP)

How do you get to all your locations? The womb, outerspace, feelds, house, amazing loctaions. How do you find those?

They're all completely practical. No special effects. We had to find a 100 ft tall woman that would let us make a movie in her womb. She's a real nice lady. (MEP)

Also living in Southern California where you are a short drive from the beach, the desert, a forest, suburbs or city is very helpful. (MEP)

Doesn't this guy look like Jon Salmon?

http://imgur.com/sST21

(long live Walrus Man!)

yes. yes he does. (MEP)

I want to say how funny I find you videos, particularly Cinco De Mayo, Dr. Eyeball, and Hypnotic Southern General. So I have a few questions:

1. How long does it usually take to make each video, from writing to posting online?

2. How do you come up with such funny ideas?

3. Do you feel the 5-second time limits helps or hurts your overall films?

4. What your plans for this Cinco De Mayo?

5. I notice you guys, on occasion, work with Slomozovo in some videos. What is Bing like, and can you get him to do an AMA?

Thanks!

1. We shoot it all on Sundays. The editing process is thus spaced out over the course of that week.
2. Alcohol and lack of sleep.
3. It's helped far, far more than it's hurt. It almost always cuts away the fat of a joke that would be an otherwise interminable two-minute sketch.
4. It's hard to think what we'll do now that we've literally jumped back in time to answer Jon's question in the first Cinco de Mayo 5sf. But I'm sure we'll disappoint no matter what we do.
5. Bing's awesome. He can shoot green venom out of his mouth, which scares away homeless people. (BF)

meeep?

MEEEEEEEPS!! (DKH)

Why isn't there more nudity?

You've been able to see every part of my body except my junk. What more do you want from me?

Oh. OH. I see. (BF)

Paul Prado and Jon Worley are gettin' naked in 5sfs all the time! We try to hold them back, but sometimes you hafta give the fans what they want. (MEP)

Is anything "off limits" in terms of content, tone, etc.?

I personally believe you can make a funny joke about anything if you frame it appropriately, but since 100% of the internet doesn't feel that way, we usually stay away from the big guns: Rape, the Holocaust, you know. The usual suspects. "Abortion," however, is a pretty funny word, so we've held our breath and gone to that well a couple of times. (BF)

Why is it only Brian, Michael and other Michael replying to the questions? Are the others busy right now?

I didn't drink enough to sleep through my alarm today. I'm sure you'll hear from others as the day progresses. (BF)

Yeah, most of them are at work right now but we will be doing this all day and night so don't worry more of us will pop in and out. (MR)

Kelsey, I used to have a big crush on you but this video killed it instantly. You are just a bit too good at that role.

you will love me again... oh yes... you will! (KG)