Maria Bamford

Like warm barbecue slim jims.

I'm really good. Thank you. I didn't believe that I'd feel good again- it's really weird with any illness where you can kind of lose hope, but it just takes a while to find the right meds combo (in my opinion-I know some people believe that you need the right Eagle Priestess) and to slow down. Just like cliches say, you don't know what you've got till you lose it. But it's scary because it takes a while and it's hard to feel that bad without knowing if it's going to get better. Anyhoogasians, I'm real good and making efforts to continue the wellness with combo of drug, therapy, group, dog, caffiene, family, fudge.

There's a weird thing that people have said- after a few drinks- where a wife will say, "You're on my husband's celebrity list". Meaning who you'd have sex with if you had an opportunity, I guess. That is odd. Especially since, having sex with a stranger- I'd be all trembly and cold and probably, not guaranteed, most mostly likely, have some tears involved because he'd be drunk and his wife would be there.

Patton smells like the ocean at dawn.

Well, I live in California- where what I'm sharing really isn't that personal? Real estate agents have short memoirs of their shaman healings in my neighborhood-- so it doesn't feel that brave. And my parents (and family) have always talked about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. So, they're probably wondering, "Why doesn't she open up more?" Mom, Dad, I'm just waiting til I feel like I know you better.

That's awesome that you're feeling better. That's why I made it- so I don't feel as alone. And can laugh about it. I love the word brainmeats. That is a good one. Is it ok for me to use brainmeats in my everyday conversation?

You are here now. I read your comment. I respond. You respond. I respond. We are. This is.

1. Pizza Luce.
2. He is a comedy pal, but I don't have his home phone number.
3. Well, I didn't mean it as a "female comic" type- I meant it as what I wish I could be that would be more FUN and likeable- what seems to go over- I guess I thought it was just a comic in general- who usually does a better job of entertaining an audience then I do. It's born out of insecurity, jealousy of other comics. Oof.
   
4. I'm not sure if I can- I thought it was supposed to be some of secret or something because they sent the sides with confidentiality dealios on them. Let's just say, I'm learning to Act!
5. I really only do about 7 voices- 11 if you make one lower or higher- I'd love to do more, but with social media and pug eye care, I don't have time for creative observation and craft!
   
6. I'm 42. I don't know if I can have babies. But if you needed one, I would help you. And they'd have dark brown hair because that is the truth.
   

I worked at Sbarro, the Italian Eatery at the mall. It was just hard because of the lying. "How long has that been sitting there?" "About 9 hours, but we can heat it up for you!". I was supposed to say that it just got out of the oven. (9 hours ago)

I'd be more afraid to go up in front of my sister. She's my Apollo Theatre. She's really funny and I don't know if she'd work for less than scale.