ApokalypseCow

I suggest a tragic accident while filming on the set of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus 2, which was totally real if they ask. The Crocosaurus spawn got loose from their handlers during a take on a scene being filmed on a 747 at 10,000 feet, and you had to wrestle them all back into submission to save the pilot and the film crew, using only the seat flotation devices and some tranquilizers you MacGuyvered together from the contents of the First Aid kit, the mini-bar, and the snack trolley. The film makers wanted to keep their corner-cutting out of the public eye, so they fired you and blacklisted you from ever working in Hollywood again, but you were simply happy with the lives you saved, not only those aboard the plane, but the many residents of Los Angeles, as the plane was hurtling towards down town at the time. You stoically accepted the loss of both your fingers and your promising career, discarding your Oscar-winning dreams and extra digits to continue to serve man in a background role.

His full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. He is canonically an orphan who never had a birthday party, so he fills the void by throwing parties for everyone else.

Not just a man, but a man that wrote that after consuming half a pitcher of frozen alcoholic drink.

In one of the few bits of his report that Barr quoted, Mueller says his investigation didn’t prove that members of the Trump campaign “conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.” The sentence specifies Russia’s government. It says nothing about coordination with other Russians. That said, we know that Paul Manafort gave campaign polling data to Konstantin Kilimnik, a Russian associate who has been linked to Russian intelligence. Manafort, Donald Trump Jr., and Jared Kushner also met secretly in Trump Tower with Natalia Veselnitskaya, a Kremlin-connected lawyer. But neither Kilimnik nor Veselnitskaya is part of the Russian government.

My question is this, then: does the Trump campaign get to skirt justice for collusion here merely because they only worked directly with cutouts, instead of with actual or acknowledged Russian government agents?

^{Danger zone!}