BigODetroit

Read the scathing review he linked. Detroit is a hotbed for newer chefs who don't want to wait their turn in large cities known for their restaurant scenes. Unfortunately, all the newer restaurants kind of become a parody of everything that's come before, but more ridiculous. Asking if the dressing was ranch and having the waiter correct the diner by calling it their buttermilk dressing is sort of the pinnacle of what the dining scene has become.

Every restaurant has a bespoke cocktail menu. All drinks are mixed with house-made infusions, bitters, and aromatics. Any other bar would call it a Manhattan, but at the restaurant you choose to go to it's called The Walrus and the Carpenter. It's $14 and comes in a glass slipper.

Sometimes I read the menus in Stefon's voice. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Detroit's hottest new restaurant is Lady of the House. This place has everything. Carrot steak, Challah migas, and miso butter." Seth: "What's a carrot steak?" Stefon: "It's that thing where you haven't gone shopping and a blizzard hits overnight. So you go through your fridge and combine everything you have into a patty and eat it while watching disability attorney commercials on YouTube."

Had a vasectomy almost a year ago. The volume of ejaculate has gone down significantly and I believe my testicles have decreased in size. Is this all in my head?

Everybody will tell you Buddy's, Cloverleaf, Shield's, or Green Latern. The best Detroit style is Loui's. Best pizza you can get in Detroit is Supino's.

Friends don't let friends go to Polonia.

The greatest injustice, and I don't know if it was Bert's or the city, was when they moved all the tables and live music to the back lot. Every Saturday was like a family reunion with the smoke drifting over the crowd of people watching someone sing karaoke. Some of the singers were just as good as the rib tips.