Deplete1

Can I ask you a question? How does one become a janitor?

You wanna become a janitor?

No, I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor, because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.

Oh really? You guys think I’m just some untouchable peasant, a servant — peon? Huh? Maybe so. Following a broom around after shitheads like you, I’ve learned a couple of things. I look through your letters, look through your lockers; I listen to your conversations. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends. (...) By the way, that clock’s 20 minutes fast.

What’re you drinking?

I’m jealous, I have to go to work in a few hours.

What kind of cheffing do you do now?

Title of your sex tape!

I’m living in a country abroad and don’t fully know the language.

What kind of things can I do to ensure I have a stable mentality?

A couple notes:

• I have 0 connection with family

• I don’t have many friends because I’m kind of picky that way

• I’m a homebody and introvert

• I’m a ‘functioning’ alcoholic