GalaxyBarbie

I lost my first baby 3 months ago and never got to hold her. The only pictures are of her in the hospital and covered in tubes and wires. When I see them or the few videos we were able to get, I am almost crippled by the grief. I have lost up to 3 hours after just breaking down and sitting and spacing out. There are no therapy options near me and my pcp already has me on meds. I don't know what else to do but I can't get past it. She was only 3 weeks old and I don't know what to do. I can't stand to see other people's kids or hear the word mama... I feel like a body just waiting to die. What do I do?

Thank you for the reply! I live in an area where there isn't any healthcare at all and the ones that are distant rarely accept the state medicaid that I have. This all happened the same day as hurricane laura (we live in Louisiana) so I have no doubt that I need something more than lexapro but that's my only option. What you're doing is such a difficult thing to be surrounded by long term but you are an angel for doing it!

My town doesn't have any mental health facilities, let alone infertility clinics. It's a very small, rural town. My baby was my 5th. The others were 3 early miscarriages, 1 stillborn and then my last. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It took a year for me to finally get pregnant with her so it's not like she was an oops that we just rolled with. I would have loved her the same but it's just so much worse.Thank you for you kind words.

I will definitely look into it... I also really like your username. Is it Alaska related?