HSoup

1. Are the rumors that you're the actual father of Zuri Kye Edwards, a love child which resulted from you opening for Patti Labelle in the 1970's?
   
2. Further, is it true that you've used your announcement on WTF to try and shield yourself from back child support payments which the Labelle estate was seeking?

I wanna hear your awesome cat story, Venette....Venette...

The world won't (and shouldn't) adapt to a Jr. High student's understanding of things. This is good, and should be celebrated.

No problem. Todd was opening for David Cross (who will only have people who also have to esses in their name open for him), and while on tour, Todd was doing a joke about Sham Wow at the time, where he would mock the ludicrous examples of things that spill as a justification for Sham Wow. You can see a version of it here (Joke starts at around 5:20.

Regardless, David challenged Todd to drag that joke out by continuing to come up with examples of things to wipe up with the Sham Wow. David wanted 2 and a half minutes for (apparently) 2 1/2 grand. The first night, David was standing in the wings with his timing device (his phone, if I had to guess) and when Todd came off stage, he asked what his time was - only like 30 seconds. Todd was pretty sure he had done it, so, despite the fact that he was discouraged. He kept trying.

45 seconds. 50 seconds. 120 seconds.

When you're on stage, that seems like SUCH a long time, especially when everyone in the crowd is (quietly) wondering if you're mentally incompetent or if you think you still need to reinforce the point because someone hadn't gotten it yet. I think it was like 6 or 7 shows after his first attempt when Todd made it through, unfortunately not in Houston or I would have witnessed it.

I knew about it because he talked about it on a podcast or something and I didn't remember what the resolution was. You forced me to dig a little deeper to avoid lying to you. Cheers.

When you open for Louis CK, do you find it easier or harder to follow the "Shut the fuck up" announcement he makes before you go out, which generally riles the crowd (at the prospect of hearing Louis)?