PM_ME_WEED_AND_PUSSY

My wife can't cum without her Hitachi wand. I actually really enjoy waiting for her to cum (usually 2 or 3 times at least) until I do. However, I have found that sometimes this makes me feel like I'm just in the way or that I'm an inadequate lover (because I can't make her cum on my own) ... any advice?

Also, while I didn't outright ask my wife if she was open to anal sex/butt play before we got married, she certainly gave me the impression it was a possibility (we used to be a lot more adventurous/experimental). Now she is saying it will never ever happen. Of course I understand and respect her wants and desires, but how do I encourage her to try something new when she seems so totally uninterested? How can I help her understand that to better our sex life, we need to try new things and keep learning more about each other? It seems that she just simply doesn't trust me as much anymore, which equates to her not opening up as fully and completely to me as she used to.

Wow. You really are an expert, aren't you?

As for the Hitachi, as I said, I really do enjoy watching (and feeling!) her cum, but I can't help but feel secondary a lot of the time. You know, when she's done it's just like, "ok now you finish now. It's time. Now. The faster the better." We have talked(a lot) about this, but when it comes down to it, she only has so much energy, and lord knows after I cum I'm ready to pass the fuck out, ha. I guess I just feel like my needs are only important to her inasmuch as she has the patience and/or energy to invest in our love. And I know in the end that its NOT just communication that makes this work, it is also respect. Which is essentially the problem here ; I guess I don't feel like she respects me like she used to.

Which brings me to the second point (kind of). But first, I just want to make it clear that I don't pressure her or even bring it up ever. I've stopped mentioning it in any form because I respect her and love her and would do anything for her (including never have anal sex!) and I know that although I am severely conflicted because I'm highly sexual and my wife is not, I love her and my life with her is more to me than something so fickle as busting a nut in her butt. So, I'd never make or even ask her to do anything that she really didn't want to, but with that said, sometimes I just feel like she simply doesn't care enough about me to even entertain the idea of trying something new. Aka if she's equally happy and comfortable in situation A and B, but even though she knows I prefer B she still chooses A. So like you said (and you hit it on the nail btw), I do understand that this is going to be a huge perspective shift on my part, but how do I feel respected when I also simultaneously feel secondary and/or almost wholly ignored?

No matter what, thank you so much for such a clear and understandable response, and I do apologize; yes my wording is poor, and is admittedly probably founded in my frustrations some way. I am totally 100% okay and happy with my partner as is, but I guess it just confuses me that she's completely unwilling and disinterested in trying something new when I'm so adamantly seeking everything life has to offer (I know anal is not the only thing I want in life!).

Thank you a million times thank you!!!

never managed to win a game

Ok, Kim, we believe you...

What is your best advice for those that have fantasies and are in relationships with people who have zero interest in the same fantasies?

Too bad it's all dandelions and kittens! Lol 😂