Pixelated_Penguin
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Pixelated_Penguin101 karma
What is your response to the criticism that you haven't taken into account appropriate use (i.e. that the problem with car seats is that they are used incorrectly most of the time, whether because they are not installed correctly in the car, the child is not strapped in properly, or they are being used for children who don't meet the age/weight/height requirements)?
Being one of those rare parents who actually has read the manual and the best practice recommendations, I'm horrified at how few parents I see personally using car seats correctly... and worse yet is those that cite Freakonomics as a reason not to bother. Are you concerned that people might misunderstand your contentions and put their children at greater risk?
Pixelated_Penguin86 karma
Wear a jumpsuit, a badge, a walkie-talkie, and carry a metal clipboard in addition to your tool chest. No one will think for a second about why you're doing something with that lock.
Pixelated_Penguin85 karma
It's really common for pedophiles to have a personal history of molestation in their childhood. She may "know" (but be unwilling to admit) something.
Edit: I see below that you mentioned he was molested as a child, so that's not an unknown. Still, it's possible that she put him in the situation and didn't listen to warning signs (i.e. "Mommy I don't like that babysitter/school/priest/stepparent" "Don't be silly dear, s/he's a perfectly nice person, now go give him/her a hug").
It's true that moms often feel a greater sense of responsibility for what happens to their kids... but also true that they're often literally more "in charge" of the kids' activities.
Pixelated_Penguin34 karma
Some mothers.
It's also totally normal to not bond with your genetic child that you gestated until sometime after they're born.
There's a whole range of normal here. It's worth pointing out, because sometimes women become mothers and think they're defective because they don't feel overwhelming love towards this strange pink sleepy thing that came out of them. Nor is it weird or wrong to just automatically love whatever's out there in the world carrying your genetic information. It's all good. ;-)
Pixelated_Penguin144 karma
EDIT: some additional info from /u/minicpst, who was unable to reply but PMed me:
My comment: I've yet to see a carseat that doesn't require it, but as stated, I'm NOT a CPST. I know that the seats we have instruct parents to use it regardless of whether they're using the lower anchors or the seat belt for installation.
Also see the end of the post for additional info /u/minicpst provided about LATCH weight limits.
Some of the more common mistakes:
Not tight enough. There should be no more than 1" of "play" where the Child Restraint System (CRS) meets the bight of the actual seat (the bight is where the seat back meets the seat... seat). It can be more wiggly at the front end, but not at the back.
Not locking the seatbelt properly. When using a seatbelt to install a CRS, you're supposed to either: (1) pull the seat belt out to its fullest extent to engage the automatic locking mechanism; or (2) if the car doesn't have that feature, use locking clips (either built into the CRS or purchased separately from the manufacturer).
Not using the top tether. When a seat is installed forward-facing, the top tether isn't OPTIONAL, it's REQUIRED. This reduces head excursion and is especially important in side-impact accidents.
Using LATCH anchors when kids are too big. This is a very low-awareness limitation, but there was just a new ruling from the NHTSA lowering the guideline to children 33 lbs. and under. In the future, they will hopefully require car manufacturers to label the max combined weight, or set a minimum combined weight they have to handle.
When it comes to use, these are the tricky bits:
Proper fit for height and weight. Most parents manage the weight requirements correctly, but height is complicated, since the height that really matters is from the hip to the shoulder when seated, and you don't measure this at the doctor's office! See strap adjustments below; many newborns are too short to be properly strapped in to many convertible (front- and rear-facing) car seats.
Turning children forward-facing too early. Babies and toddlers have very LARGE heads relative to the rest of their body, and their musculature. This creates the possibility of injuries that can't happen to older children and adults. Google "internal decapitation" for some nightmare material. :-/ Facing forward is an enormous step down in safety, and shouldn't be done until the child really outgrows rear-facing, which is not when they have to bend their legs... it's when they exceed the maximum weight or height for rear-facing in a good-fit convertible CRS. New AAP recommendations finally recommend rear-facing until at least age 2; most kids can RF until age 3 or more in a good convertible seat. (Also, while having their legs "criss-cross applesauce" may not look comfy to adults, most kids are significantly less comfortable when they first turn forward-facing, because their legs dangle and their feet fall asleep.)
Not adjusting the harness height correctly. Because the forces are very different rear-facing and forward-facing, the rules for harness height are different. When rear-facing, the shoulder harness should be AT or BELOW the child's shoulders; when front-facing, they should be AT or ABOVE the child's shoulders. Furthermore, the definition of "at" is a plane perpendicular to the seat back, not parallel to the ground. This image shows proper rear-facing harness height measurement.
Not tightening the harness enough. Here's a great pic of the pinch test. If the child complains that the harness is uncomfortable, check to see if the crotch strap has another position or that they're seated properly in the first place (butt all the way into the seat).
Wearing down-filled or other "puffy" winter clothes when strapped in. In an accident, these can compress, turning a "tight enough" harness into one that decidedly isn't. Children absolutely have been ejected from seats due to this. :-/ Instead, strap the child in, then put the coat on backwards over them if necessary.
Using after-market accessories like puffy seat liners, cozies that go over the straps, neck pillows, etc. These haven't been crash-tested with the seat, and may change the way it works. There should never be anything between the straps and the car seat cover except the child and regular-weight clothing. Some car seat manufacturers do have accessories that they include or sell separately, that have been crash-tested, but don't use the cutesy after-market stuff. (What is recommended: roll up receiving blankets and put them next to, but not behind, a newborn's head to help them not flop over as much.)
Moving to a booster too early. Aside from meeting the height and weight requirements, a child must be mature enough to sit upright with the belt properly positioned whenever the car is in motion. Few four-year-olds are capable of this. :-/
Abandoning the CRS too early. Children should pass the 5-step test before being allowed to ride without a CRS. Some kids will pass in some cars or some seating positions but not all, so it's important to try it out with any new vehicle or seating position.
And a bonus one:
This is all off the top of my head, based on stuff I see and stuff that CPST friends of mine have seen waaaaay too often. There's lots of other ways to screw it up, but these are the basics.
Additional info from /u/minicpst about LATCH weight limits:
Some people on some of my carseat forums put this together. I can't take credit for it being all together like this.
This does NOT cover which cars allow for LATCH in the center, and which carseats allow for non-standard spacing, but here at least is the weight limit info.
Lower Anchor Weight Limits:
Weight limit of 65 lbs. including the weight of the CHILD RESTRAINT PLUS CHILD (calculate child weight limit by subtracting child restraint weight from 65):
Audi
Bentley
BMW
Buick
Cadillac
Chevrolet
Chrysler
Daewoo
Dodge
Fiat
Ford-Model Year 2014 and newer ONLY
Geo
GMC
Hummer
Jeep/Eagle
Lincoln-Model Year 2014 and newer ONLY
Mercedes-Benz
MINI
Mitsubishi
Oldsmobile
Pontiac
Porsche
Ram
Rolls-Royce
Saturn
smart
Subaru (ONLY if using top tether forward facing or if rear-facing; if using lower anchors forward-facing without top tether, 48 minus the weight of the child restraint)
Volkswagen
Vehicle Manufacturer Defers to the Child Restraint Manufacturer- Follow Instructions Provided with Child Restraint*:
Coda
Ferrari
Hyundai
Infiniti
Isuzu
Jaguar
Kia
Land Rover
Lexus
Maserati
Mazda
Nissan
Scion
Suzuki
Toyota
Volvo
48 lbs., Weight of Child ONLY:
Ford- Model Year 2013 and before ONLY
Lincoln-Modely Year 2013 and before ONLY
Mercury
Saab
40 lbs., Weight of Child ONLY:
Acura
Honda
Child Restraint Weights: (for vehicles which specify 65 lbs combined child + seat)
Britax Advocate (CS, 70 CS, 70G3): 21 lbs (44 lb child)
Britax Boulevard 65/Boulevard 70/70 CS/70 G3: 19 lbs. (46 lb. child)
Britax Frontier (80 lb. weight limit original model): 23 lbs. (42 lb. child)
Britax Frontier 85: 20 lbs. (45 lb. child)
Britax Frontier 85 SICT: 22 lbs. (43 lb. child)
Britax Marathon 65/Marathon Classic: 16 lbs. (49 lb. child)
Britax Marathon 70/Marathon 70 G3: 19 lbs. (46 lb. child)
Britax Pavilion 70 G3: 19 lbs (46 lb child)
Britax Roundabout (original 40 lb version): 13 lbs (52 lb child)
Britax Roundabout 50 Classic: 15 lbs (50 lb child)
Britax Roundabout 55: 17 lbs (48 lb child)
Clek Foonf RF with base and ARB: 33 lbs
Clek Foonf FF without base and ARB: 31 lbs
Combi Coccoro: 11.75 lbs
Combi Zeus: 29.95 lbs
Diono Radian RXT: 27 lbs. (38 lb. child)
Diono Radian R120: 26 lbs. (39 lb. child)
Diono Radian R100: 23 lbs. (42 lb. child)
Dorel All in One/All in One Sport: 15 lbs. (50 lb. child- unless the CR does not harness that high, then full weight of harness)
Dorel Alpha Elite/Deluxe 3-in-1: 16 lbs. (49 lb. child- unless the CR does not harness that high, then full weight of harness)
Dorel Alpha Omega Elite 65/Comfort 65: 17 lbs. (48 lb. child- unless the CR does not harness that high, then full weight of harness)
Dorel Apt 40: Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel Avenue/Uptown: Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel Complete Air: 16 lbs. (49 lb. child)
Dorel Complete Air 65: 15 lbs. (50 lb. child)
Dorel Complete Air LX/65 LX: 17 lbs. (48 lb. child)
Dorel Go Hybrid Booster: 10 lbs. (55 lb. child)
Dorel High Back Booster (with or without armrests): Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel OnSide Air: Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel Pria: 19 lbs. (46 lb. child)
Dorel Scenera (all models): Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel Summit: Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Dorel Ventage Point/Surveyor/Comfort HB:Lower anchors may be used to full weight limit, restraint weighs less than 65 lbs. combined when added to full weight limit.
Evenflo Chase (new version): 9 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight)
Evenflo Chase/Express/Vision/Traditions (old version): 9.2 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight limit)
Evenlfo Generations 65: 17.8 lbs. (47.2 lb. child)
Evenflo Maestro: 10.8 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight limit)
Evenflo Momentum: 20.6 lbs. (44.4 lb. child)
Evenflo Secure Kid: 12 lbs. (53 lb. child)
Evenflo Titan: 11.2 lbs. (53.8 lbs, so may be used to full harness weight limit of 50 lbs.)
Evenflo Tribute (not overhead shield model): 9.6 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight limit)
Evenflo Triumph 65: 19.2 lbs. (45.8 lb. child)
Evenflo Triumph Advance (older model, 50 lbs. weight limit): 19 lbs. (46 lb. child)
Graco Argos: 21 lbs
Graco ComfortSport: 12 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight limit)
Graco MyRide 65 (with or without Safety Surround)/MyRide 70: 15.8 lbs. (49.2 lb. child)
Graco Nautilus: 26 lbs. (39 lb. child)
Graco Size4Me 70/MySize 70: 18 lbs. (47 lb. child)
Graco Smart Seat: 33 lbs
Graco Treasured CarGo/Cherished CarGo/Platinum ultra CarGo: 8.5 lbs. (may be used to full harness weight limit)
Orbit Toddler: 21.5 lbs
Peg Perego Primo Viaggio 5/70: 21 lbs
Recaro Como: 18 lbs
Recaro Euro: 18 lbs
Recaro ProRide: 21 lbs
Recaro ProSport: 21 lbs
Recaro Signo: 22 lbs
Recaro YoungSport: 22 lbs
Sunshine Kids Radian XTSL: 27 lbs. (38 lb. child)
Sunshine Kids Radian 80SL: 26 lbs. (39 lb. child)
Sunshine Kids Radian 65SL: 25 lbs. (40 lb. child)
The First Years/Lamaze did not provide information to the LATCH manual, however their website specifications state 19lbs for the True Fit.
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