SODOMIZES_WALRUSES

So i had a scenario I wanted to run by a woman of the night, and i just wanted your take on it:

*Requisites for lady of the night: *

-Must have some notable athletic ability, preferably in basketball

-Must have seen 'Forrest Gump' and 'Rudy' at least twice a piece, and must be able to recite the insightful janitor's quote from 'Rudy'.

Material Requirements: -A rental of a school gym for the night (Locker room included)

-Appropriate dress for aformentioned sport of expertise

-Necessary equipment for again aformentioned sport

-One full adidas track suit (Red)

Itinerary:----------------------------------

2100 Hours (00:00):

You begin practicing your sport in the reserved gym, pacing yourself rigorously to have achieved both a physically and mentally exhausted state in roughly one hour. Ensure that the minimal amount of lighting is used in the gym to ensure an isolated, 'inspirational late night self-improvement' feel.

2200 Hours (01:00):

I walk in silently, standing just on the edge of the lighting. You don't notice me at first. I then walk into the light and say "No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to go back and make that shot". You are noticeably startled, and for reasons unbenounced to me, your face gently fades to the edge of tears. I take steps closer and grab a ball immediately in front of me, bouncing it a few times, and looking over it's texture I appear to be pondering an intelligent statement. I begin shuttering and sharply toss the ball away from myself. After a small silence, I look up slowly and say something along the lines of "We can't change our past, but we can prepare for our future".

2210 Hours (01:10):

I begin furiously coaching you, screaming at the top of my lungs, forcing repeated sprints across the court, up the bleachers, at times yelling "THINK OF THEIR FACES! REMEMBER THEM!!??"

2300 Hours(02:00):

You are on the edge of cardiac arrest, having been refused rest, food, or water by me. Regardless of your exhaustion, you push on, but are becoming curious as to my silence for the last few minutes. You slowly stop running, and find that I have disappeared. As the throbbing of your heart and the heaving breaths begin to subside, you begin to hear a quiet sobbing from a non-lit bleacher.

2310 Hours(02:10):

Coming upon the doubled over pile of track suit seemingly embedded in the back row of the bleachers, I look up, face covered in tears. My eyes reflect a sadness and pain which you've never seen. I begin telling you about my failed basketball career, and how my past has haunted me from ever chasing my dreams. You comfort me and tell me you'd like to show me something.

2330 hours (02:30):

We enter the locker room, you direct my sorrow-ridden state of existence to a bench near the foot of your locker, and turn to meticulously position the light to navigate the combination of the lock. You open the locker, shattering the silence with a reverberating clack and creak of a metal door. Inside the locker is a solitary boombox. You press play. Europe's 'The Final Countdown' begins playing, and you proceed to recite the insightful Janitor's quote from Rudy. At first I am confused by the lack of continuity between your situation and that which the quote portrays, but shortly before the quote is finished, i yell "I MUST GO THIS ALONE", rip my track suit off revealing am undersized unitard, and sprint out of the building, never to be seen again.

2340 Hours (02:40)

You begin cleaning up, making sure to turn off all lights, put equipment away, and take special care to make sure the gym is locked up so I/You get the security deposit back for the rental.

So is this unreasonable? It's 3 hours of work tops, so I'd wonder what a a reasonable price would be...

Edit: Did i add being back by midnight is part of the deal?

MAYBE

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You have no idea... I tried to explain it to a stripper the other night, but she lost me at the part where she had to run. Patiently looking forward to a response.