ShaneBauer

There were times that I was seeing things as a journalist. Like when I was being interrogated and my interrogator told me that Baghdad was actually a Persian city. He said that Iran would once again control Baghdad some day. I found myself pushing him to be more specific, to see whether he would let something slip, some juicy line.

If I could undo that experience now, even after it is done, I would. Sure, I am going to make the best out of it and I am grateful for the insight it gave me, but I think that we as a culture tend to overvalue suffering, like it is some gateway into a higher realm. I don't really buy that. Suffering helps you better understand suffering, and what you can take, but it's not "worth it." Certainly not for a story.

Rice, stews, hamburgers, chicken, fish, potato salad, lentils, bread, jam, hardboiled eggs. One guard told me political prisoners get better food than the general population.

No, the authorities never did. The only time anyone tried to convert me to Islam was when Josh and I happened to meet an Al Qaeda man who was in a bathroom next to the courtyard we were in. We snuck some conversation. He said everyone knew we were innocent and that he hoped we would get free. He also said we should convert to Islam because we would "sleep better at night." It wasn't exactly what I would have expected of a conversion attempt from Al Qaeda.

I did get into a couple fights with guards, but the administration freaked out about it. They were concerned about loose canon guards beating us. We were valuable to them, so they wanted to make sure we didnt come out with broken bones. Other prisoners told us stories of being tortured though. Sometimes, when we heard people being beaten we'd pound on the door to cause a ruckus until a guard came running. Josh and I would ask, "What is this, Guantanamo?" They hated that. That would usually make them stop.

I had some weird thing happen with my eyes where I would temporarily lose part of my vision for a while. Sarah, who is now my wife, hallucinated pretty dramatically in a terrifying way once.