Jerry Seinfeld

Not necessary, I air my grievances everyday

I don't, but I do consider it for a split second and then I go "I can't do it." It's like watching your home movies, it's just me watching me. It's weird, don't you think?

Turn off your computer right now.

That was the most fun I ever had. The coolest part of that episode, that you couldn't see, was the head of the secret service explaining to me what was going to happen if someone started shooting at us. What they would do to the president and where they were going to throw me in the back of a van. That was really exciting Bourne Identity stuff.

You are a very smart and progressive person. These conversations are presently taking place.

Car mechanic humor doesn't do too well. I try and avoid car mechanic humor. I recommend you do the same.

I actually have quite a bit of it, and we're looking for a museum that wants to display it. I have the couch, I have the two blue stools, I have the table and chairs; the coolest thing I have is the door, which we never repainted in nine seasons. It has every scuff mark that Kramer put on it with all those crazy entrances.

I believe in detailed notes and jokes, and also winging it onstage. But, not for your first open mic. For your first open mic, my advice to you would be to make sure you have what you're gonna do memorized, to the point that one of your friends can gently slap you across the face, and you'll still be able to get it out of your mouth.

We have a new episode of Comedians in Cars coming out with Jim Gaffigan, who I love, and in the episode I tell him about this joke I tried to do about, when you drop your dry cleaning off, you can go to any dry cleaner you want, but when you pick it up, you can only go to one. Which I always thought was very funny, but nobody gets it.

Very good observation and analysis on your part, Baxter. You are truly exhibiting a good comedic eye. The reason I would play straight was it was funnier for the scene. And very few people have ever remarked on this, because it was a conscious choice of mine, only because I knew it would make the show better, and I didn't care who was funny as long as somebody was funny and that the show was funny. So you have hit upon one of the great secret weapons of the Seinfeld series, was that I had no issue with that.