danbigley

There were several challenging aspects to cope with about becoming blind. The self doubt about being a worthy husband or bachelor and the fear of being alone. The obvious loss of autonomy resulting from not driving. Really becoming blind required a new sense of self, almost like a whole new identity. I had to relearn what I could do and what I couldn’t-what I liked to do, and what I didn’t like to do anymore, and these things really did change from before to after blindness. It is hard not being able to toss the baseball with my 5 year old son. So, I try to make up for these things by being the best parent I can in other areas.

As far as remembering colors from before- Yes. Every sunset stems from the most vivid sunsets in my memory. Every ocean as beautiful as the most beautiful of my memory. Every car has no dents or rust, and they will always appear in my mind as they did in 2003 even 20 years from now. My wife will always appear 23 to me as this was the last time I saw her. For that matter, people in general are pretty good looking in my world view. Not many are out of shape or over weight.:)

This is an interesting question as I have not thought about this before. I found myself wanting to cram a lot of things into the picture. I would want to see my children as I have never seen them before. I’d like to squeeze my wife into that picture as well, though then she wouldn’t look 23 to me any more.:) I’d like for them to be standing atop the Chugach Mountains here in Alaska looking out west to catch a beautiful sunset over the Cook Inlet and the Alaska Range beyond that. This would hold the most beautiful people in my life in the most beautiful scenery in the world in my humble opinion. If it was my lucky day perhaps there would be a goshawk flying in the scene as well.:)

The bear wasn’t captured or shot. People often wonder whatever became of that bear, and we sometimes hear folks wonder if a trouble bear in that area may be the same bear. However, there would be no way to know.

I’ll add to this answer that what is crazy is that a good friend of mine happened to be in a nearby parking lot while I was getting mauled. After leaving me, the bear went chasing after my friend and his girl friend who were in this parking lot. They jumped into a vehicle that had a broken out window in the back hatch that they would later find out had been broken the previous night. They barely made it in time and when my friend looked back he saw the grizzly right behind him with mouth agape and my blood still dripping from the bear’s face. This was an experience that will haunt my friend’s mind indefinitely. We still fish together all the time and he is a good friend.

Well, if we were to be in a sound booth doing a hearing test, my hearing would show no difference than before and would likely be no better than yours. However, it’s the way that that audible information gets processed that makes such a difference. Our brains use a lot of power and circuitry to process visual information gleamed through our eyes. For me, since those neural pathways are not being used to process visual information any more, they can now be used for other types of information such as information gleamed through touch and hearing. I am really tuned into the soundscape around me. Based on this information a worldview is assembled. I love floating down a river on a drift boat where there are many sounds such as the water under the aluminum drift boat, arctic terns and eagles chattering above, the river below, the wind in the tree tops around, the occasional hooting and hollering of fishermen as they net a large king salmon, and my kids asking endlessly if we are almost there yet.:)

As for how Amber took the news. Well, she waited and waited for my phone call I’d promised after returning from fishing and the call never came. How lame she thought of me-another typical guy. The next night she received a call from a friend who’d seen the story on the 10 o’clock news and it was like having the rug pulled out from beneath her universe- where everything that had been safe and wonderful a moment ago was not any more. Perhaps we need to request that Amber have an AMA at some point. She is one of the greatest heroes in the story from my point of view. Her stability and steadiness has anchored me to the brighter side of life. She has inspired me to not just stay alive, but to be someone who she would want to be with, to be someone worthy of fathering her children.

Well, not exactly sure how to answer this question. It’s a really good thing that children love to be useful and helpful, because my children are constantly helping out with little things like helping me find a phone in the house or my shoes at the door. They also love to guide me around outside and take me on adventures. They are very aware of my blindness. They know that when they want to show me something that they actually need to bring it over to me and place it in my hands for me to see it. They also seem to understand how my worldview works. One day my son dropped something from our bed and couldn’t find it. I said, “Alden, it dropped right there between the night stand and the bed.” He went and found it, and then said,” Wow dad! You have really good ear-sight.” They also do like to take my white cane and pretend to be blind while walking around tapping the cane. I always half joke that my son will be a lucky 16 year old because he is going to have a nice truck and a drift boat. The only condition is that he’ll half to take his old man fishing.:) OK, I guess I’m not really joking about that.