goinginforguns

OP must be referring to the skeletons of executed homosexuals and women stoned to death for adultery, left scattered around the streets of Iran.

That had to have been Mr. Siefring, one of the best history teachers I ever had. Evans was a great personality, but man, I didn't learn any history from that guy. He sure did like spending all class talking about Lake Baikal and those freshwater seals...

I was an wilderness NREMT - I was in it to try and save the world.

My first call was finding and carrying a deceased biker's head back up to the top of a cliff side road, where it was severed from his body after he lost control and skidded his bike and body under the guardrail ... while his head went over it. Still remember his eyes staring through the dark visor/goggles he was wearing, kinda bouncing with each step I took. Finally made it up the mountain and hit the pavement with exhaustion from the steep hike and tricky lo-angle recovery. I guess I stopped right in front of the family, now on scene. who had arrived just in time to see me collapse on the ground dejectedly with their husband/dad's decapitated head clutched in my arms as I sat there awkwardly listening to their unforgettable, horrible screams - I still have nightmares about this sound - and my own screaming on the inside.

After that call, that very first call, something changed for me. I realized it was that simple - I couldn't save the world. Sometimes, you lose. Sometimes the patient loses. Sometimes everything just sucks. But you damn well try your absolute fucking hardest to win as many times as possible, because that's the job ... and, you won't save them all.

That vicarious trauma tho. All the logic in the world doesn't take away the things we make our senses feel and our eyes and hands bear witness to. Sometimes it hits like a freight train. Sometimes is just builds for decades.

For me, only 5 years later, I couldn't even save myself. I was drinking every minute off-shift and smoking a pack a day. Took myself up with pills and stuff and back down with different pills and different stuff. Started realizing I couldn't do it forever, but it was the only meaningful thing I'd ever been good at. Started having anxiety and panic attacks.

Couldn't even save my relationships. All the cliches, the not talking at all, the "I won't talk about work, you won't understand", the nightmares and the screaming and all the fights and the anger... I lost so many great girls along the way.

I'm out now. I miss it every day.

I know the game is different now, you're doing different work - I think you get what I'm saying, the whole vicarious trauma thing. I'm sure you know all about this stuff from your own FF/EMS background. I'm sorry I didn't last longer in this field full of some of the best people I'll ever know. I got crushed, as you put it. Thanks for what you do.

I hope if anyone is actually reading this, that you never have to meet 'em. But they're out there waiting and waiting - many with similar stories of dealing with vicarious trauma that we soaked up like a sponge - to help get to you and make you safe if you ever do need it.

You sound like a good man, and someone I'd trust with keeping stuff cool and steady at the door of a strip club.

But c'mon .. that's how it works for everyone, not only military. Hiring manager was also member of your college frat? He knows all the crazy fucked up stuff you guys did in the name of college fun! Lol, he was there too! Well, you're one of the club! Here's that job.

Now take that, and realize that the Corps is one of the tightest fraternities out there.

But it's definitely not exclusive to the USMC or military, man.

Don't do it. Then again, if you need to use this guy's stuff in the CA Bay Area, you deserve to get ripped off. $150 for 500mg of hemp waste? What? This company is trying to take advantage of newbie consumers who have heard about "legal marijuana!" and want to try it without knowing any better. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a nice $10 e-cig at the gas station (no juice, just the device) and screw in a nice oil concentrate cartridge from the dispensary - $20. Or buy a tincture for $30 and add a few drops to your favorite soda, in a container you've already got. Or throw your money away, that's cool too. But really, dude, you're not who he's going after. This is made for the same people who think spice and salvia are cool...