jld2k6

I actually just posted this story as part of my question....figured you would like to read it.

I was put it one when I didn't need to be and it almost feels like you HAVE to be crazy once you are in in order to get out. If I woke up to get a snack at 3am (normal for me my whole life) it would be noted that I'm having trouble sleeping and the doctor in the morning would talk to me about how we are going to improve my insomnia issue, as sleep is important for mental health, so I can eventually get out. It was fucking surreal! If I would tell them I never really wanted to harm myself it would be seen as lack of progress and that we couldn't start fixing me until I admitted it. If you were underweight (even if it's normal for you) you were weighed every day and seen as not improving until you started gaining weight. If you were overweight your diet was controlled and you were weighed every day etc...I had to go to every "optional" class throughout the day and get up super early and go to bed early, which I NEVER do, because they took attendance and notes and kept track of everything you did. If you chose not to go to the arts and crafts class because you wanted to take a nap, or I don't know...because you don't fucking like arts and crafts, you would hear about how your depression is making you miss out on things. It's pretty weird going from no mental problems your whole life to having to find ways to prove you don't belong in a place like that lol. I didn't suffer any long term effects from it but it absolutely blew my mind that I was living life one day and the next I was held against my will for a week because a doctor signed a paper.

Story of how I got in:

I was having opiate withdrawal when I was a teen and I didn't know that was what was happening to me. I was feeling depressed among other normal symptoms for opiate withdrawal and my doctor told me to just go to the ER when I mentioned feeling depressed. In the ER they were doing they're standard questioning about what I was feeling and what not. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was trying to figure out my stance of God and that in theory, if God does not exist, you could just drive a car into a tree and it wouldn't matter. Well next thing you know I have a 5 day stay in the psych ward because the doctors need to protect themselves in case what I said can be construed as suicidal when I'm really just going through mild opiate withdrawal.

Edit: Figured I would add this. My roommate was literally in the worst condition mentally wise of anyone else in the whole place. He had really bad Schizophrenia and paced the halls mumbling to the different voices in his head. He had to be forced to shower every few weeks and his hair stood straight up like there was hair gel in it lol. He would tell me how the evil voices were telling him to hurt himself and to hurt me. This is the guy I get to sleep 5ft from alone in a room together! That experience helped a lot in making the whole experience feel unreal. I learned A LOT and came to understand schizophrenia better than I ever could during my stay there though. The poor guy was moved to a new facility (he lived from place to place for over 10 years and was spending a month at this place between residences or something) the day before I was getting out, and they strapped him to this huge orange gurney with almost every part of his body strapped down. I guess as soon as he leaves the doors of that place he legally has to be strapped down like that because he's seen as dangerous. It looked so degrading and had to be humiliating.

It almost felt like that to make it out I had to live in a fantasy world where the psych ward was real life. I had to get up in the morning and go to work (classes) with my co-workers. I had to make sure to pick up my 3 meals a day and eat them because if you didn't eat it all it would be noted by my nurses. You have to make sure you spend your free time out in the public area socializing and playing games with people or else you could be seen as inhibiting unwanted behavior for what was going on with you. What's crazy is you finally convince them that you believe this place is your new life and that you can manage doing everything they want you to and are ready for life. Once you are allowed to go they inform you : By the way this place is NOTHING like life and you are going to have to work hard when your actually out in the real world...lol. I thought that was kind of funny.

My girlfriend's mom died almost two years ago because of this. She turned yellow and we finally convinced her to go to the hospital and they told her she had 6 months tops and put her on hospice. She miraculously recovered and got better and was taken off hospice. She started drinking a little over 6 months after the diagnosis and turned yellow again months later. Two weeks later she was dead. The shitty part is that she got sober long enough for a transplant but refused to do the conditions for it because she still couldn't admit to a therapist that she was an alcoholic! It was very confusing for her family to have her basically choose to die rather than admit she had problems, all the while talking about how she really REALLY doesn't want to die

Awww.... mom wasn't gonna just let life take her kid away without a fight after all that hard work she put in getting you to adulthood! Good on her.

There are guys out there that will date someone in your condition :) I dated a quadriplegic girl, did everything from carry her up and down stairs to get to my room to feeding her. Unfortunately, her condition gave her severe confidence issues and she smothered me to death by flipping out any time she couldn't get a hold of me for 5 minutes :( Just be yourself and know that you are worth someones time. They will come!

Opiate withdrawal causes unbelievable restless leg syndrome. It is the absolute worst hell that I have ever had to go through. I can handle the being sick and crapping everywhere and being weak but its the RLS that is hell on earth. It happens nonstop and its so bad that I end up screaming and crying because my whole body can't sit still. If you try to hold it in you end up bursting and flailing around the bed slamming your fists into the mattress just to get no relief. I really hope they can find a cure to RLS some day. I'm positive it would help many addicts get off of opiates if they could get rid of that withdrawal effect.

Edit: I'm seeing a lot of people have had this problem. I'll list some things I've heard helps and that other people have had help them solve restlessness in opiate withdrawal. The medical term is akathisia if you want to research more on it.

Clonodine is a blood pressure drug but has been known to help for many to alleviate restlessness during withdrawal.

Another Redditor suggested Gabapentin.

Another suggested predinsone.

Disclaimer: This next one is sounding so great because it's the only method I have tried myself and it worked. I have never personally tried the other options because I didn't know about them. Don't take the loperamide working for me as the go to option for you. If any other method works for you, it is a much better option. You should not ever try this one until you have went through the other options and have made a decision that you can't get through it any other way. I say this because the other options are not really addictive and if they work for you, there is less chance of hiccups along the path of sobriety.

Loperamide in larger doses can actually eliminate 90% of withdrawal but it is also physically addictive. It is technically an opiate but doesnt cross the BBB. It works (for its intended use as an anti diarrheal) because it activates the opiate receptors in your intestines still which slows your digestive system down. For whatever reason, this almost cures withdrawals in large doses for most people even though it's immediately kicked out of the brain. You will find lots of controversial stuff about this topic because it supposedly can't cross the BBB. All I can say is it has worked for me and thousands of others. I got off of suboxone with almost no discomfort with this and I could NOT believe the suffering I could have avoided in the past with an OTC medicine available everywhere.

There are actually reports of loperamide in MEGA doses fucking with the sodium channels in your body which can disrupt the electrical systems in certain people causing arrhythmia that can be deadly. I have only heard of this happening in doses of like 100 pills but you still need to remember this. If you get addicted on the stuff, you may end up at this point and it could cost you your life. Only plan to use it to literally get through your withdrawal and not keep taking it.

Research all of these before making a decision for yourself. This is not medical advice and I'm just a person on the internet so don't take anything I say as truth.