mbztherapy

I actually don't use messaging for online therapy--sessions are conducted in real time over a confidential video platform that is similar to Skype called VSee. You could look into services like Better Help and Talkspace, as I know they do offer messaging options. It's a bit different than video sessions, but perhaps it would be a good fit for you.

That's really rough--I can imagine the stress you must be under! I'd encourage you to speak openly with your wife about the stress you are feeling and let her in on your feelings. It's normal to feel stress over picking out gifts for the ones we love over Christmas, but your stress is probably worse if finances are tight. Stress also shuts down creative thinking, which will be your best tool when approaching Christmas gift giving this year! As a woman, wife, and therapist, I can tell you that the gifts that matter most are often the ones that communicate that you have put some thought into who the receiver is and what they would enjoy. A handwritten letter, something that you made, a special date planned exclusively by you--all great gifts and completely free!

Not all stress is self-created and many of the stressors of the holidays are out of our control. What we do have control over is our reactions to stress. The first step is to acknowledge that holidays are not uniformly positive for everyone, although this is certainly the image of them that we receive. I believe stress is often higher during the holidays because we have a unrealistic expectations and hopes for the "happy holidays" as well as societal pressures to be generous, loving and happy--this pressure can create conflict between how we think we "should" feel during the holidays and our actual feelings.

I get it and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Holidays can exacerbate feels of grief and loss over relationships for a number of reasons. Often when people are struggling during the holidays they feel extra lonely and it can be difficult to reach out to the friends and communities that support you where you are during a time of year that is so family-oriented. Have patience and be gentle with yourself. Try to avoid behaviors and habits that exacerbate negative feelings and speak with friends that you can be real with. Remember, many people struggle during the holidays--often opening the door to a conversation with someone else about your struggle will give them permission to also be authentic and honest about their experiences.

Therapy is just one of many ways to deal with stress and anxiety and it's not for everyone! Just about any type of exercise, outdoor time in nature, engagement in relaxing hobbies and creative pursuits, avoiding caffeine and alcohol/recreational drugs, and social time spent with friends are all ways of reducing stress and anxiety. Others find meditation or joining religious/spiritual communities to be a source of support. There is interesting emerging data correlating the increase in people's stress/anxiety with living "hyperconnected" online lives. Try taking a day to completely unplug from your devices and notice how or if this impacts your stress/anxiety level. Or if that is too much, download one of the apps--Forest or Moment--to help free up more hours in your day!