neuroplay_prod

I suppose that's true. I haven't really talked about it too much in the last few years, and I've been thinking about it lately. I didn't even know I was in a book until my ex-wife pointed it out to me. I'm kind of in a tough spot right now, and I can talk about this with confidence. So, yeah? I suppose. I don't have a therapist, it's expensive. I've only lived in the rural area I'm in for about 5 years, and they're a very "We don't know you, you don't know us. Stay away outsider" kind of people. I don't have many real friends here. People to talk to, sure, but no one that give a good god damn about MY mental health.

I'd ask him what he dreams at night. He's been dead for a long time now, but I always wondered what his dreams must be like. Does he relish nightmares, is he scared at night like so many other people. Was he lonely a lot? Did he ever have a real friend? Did he ever try? I would pepper him with questions until I made him cry, and then I would too.

A few of my musician buddies around town call me "the boy who lived" once in a while, to make me feel included (its a very sarcastic and biting culture around here) and that's about right. I appreciate every day I have, because in some alternate reality, I'm not.

I was one. Just adopted from a family. It was the worst thing that could have happened to my wonderful sweet father that I never got to know. He became bitter, distant, and prone to PTSD outbursts. He would never admit that it bothered him, had to be tough. He became kind of a weird guy for a bit. Abusive, violent. He'd cheat on my step-mom before they got married while she had to watch me. That led to a lot of resentment form her after a while. I grew up a latchkey kid. They just threw themselves into their work and began to worship the great god greed. They're really good at that too... Lots of money in their coffers. None in mine, now, as a grown man of 35. They've disowned me.

Serial Killing isn't just the only thing wrong. Thanks for asking that. It's mental health that is the problem. Tommy was on Inside Edition just before they executed him. he said he was like a rabid dog and needed to be put down. He was abused. I... I pitied him. I felt sympathy for him. Empathy. I would never do the things he did, and I can never just "be okay" with what happened, but he's a flawed human animal the same as the rest of us, and acting like he's some kind of monster isn't going to make it right. There needs to be more talk about mental wellness.

I do travel to Chicago (about 2 hours) to do open mics, but I don't have any money since I left the radio station. Just enought o keep the lights on and maintain a 500 calorie diet. It's tough, because they like me, but I never get to go and work on my material, and around here they just want guitar, so I'm always jumping fences and I'm not focused on one or the other as hard as I should be to be successful. I'm not really pro comic yet, but I would love to be. I've got material to spare, and most people think I'm funny. I'm also not afraid to shock the audience. I do a bit about how Batman and I have a lot in common, except the money. And the butler. The mansion. The fancy cape. Really we both just have dead parents. (That gets a gasp usually and a few nervous titters) Then I make them know that they shouldn't feel bad, I should feel bad! It's hella therapy, except there's a bunch more of them, and the booze is mandatory.