saintlawrence

Hi Allie,

When my girlfriend and I broke up during my second year of med school, when I was getting shitty grades and test scores, likely spurring my spiralling into depression and suicidality, I saw your comic. It was exactly how I had felt at that time, and at times earlier in my life. It was amazing to have a comrade, someone who knew exactly how it felt. The pain of existing, feeling like you wanted to cry in front of patients, friends, attendings, everyone. Being a zombie, putting on a mask just to get by each day. Feeling actual physical pain despite feeling numb to everything around you. Amotivation, insomnia, the works. I eventually started taking antidepressants after my psych rotation, when I realized how bad things had gotten. I had plans.

About a month ago, I had a middle-aged patient come into the Emergency Dept. I was working at. On our tracking board he was billed as "Anxiety," which is unusual for a high-volume, trauma-heavy ED. I went in to see him, a former paratrooper from the Gulf War (he said he couldn't tell me about his missions) whose PTSD, anxiety and depression led to his wife and kids leaving him earlier that week, multiple hospitalizations, and multiple suicide attempts. I saw a lot of myself in him, and the first thing I did was to tell him that I take Wellbutrin 300 SR, I know how it feels to want to cry in front of people for no goddamn reason. He told me, "You're the first doc that really understands." Your example, baring your heart to a world full of strangers, helped me to connect with this patient and get him the help he needed. Just like you did with me, despite having never met me.

As a future doctor (8 months!), I just wanted to say thanks for helping me become better at helping others, and for keeping me sane as a comrade in spirit during the worst time of my life.

I hope you're feeling wonderful.

EDIT: Thank you to the kind redditor who gave me reddit gold! I'm very appreciative.

Stop this before you kill us all.

Dies

Dies.

Goddamn it

I'm going to bribe your urologist to take an inch and transplant it onto mine.

A bold statement.