thedynamicwaiter1

Hey, thanks for your question

1) Two main things I'd say. First, the more the server can regulate their own emotions the better. I teach a technique called reappraisal where you can quickly change your mood and prevent your automatic response of anger or frustration. As an example of this technique, think about it in this way: "This delay/mess up/chaos gives me a chance to test myself and get better at handling situations like this. If I can still keep my customers happy through the delay and have them still like me and the restaurant, then I win". That will help to eliminate the anger and put you in the best position to deal effectively with the problem. Second, in dealing with the customers I would suggest being as honest as possible, saying "I'm really sorry but there's been a mix up in the kitchen and there's a delay". Give them a 'time-stamp' and tell them how long it will be. On a logistical level, I'm sure the manager will have their own policy about what you do and when with complaints. From a psychological perspective though, lower yourself to their level (physically or emotionally) and then quickly lead them into a better state; could be by offering a free drink, smiling, or simply increasing the pitch of your voice towards the end. Personally, I will generally act as if I am the semi-hero trying to fix the mistakes made in the kitchen, letting the customers know that I'm equally disappointed by the mistake and letting them share in the 'fixing it' process.

2) Mirroring. Simply the best way to quickly create strong connections with customers, and therefore tips on average. Try mirroring their mood/body language/voice & wording etc. We're the first trainers to publicly say that servers should not 'smile at everyone all the time'...instead they should 'smile at customers who should be smiled at and not at those who shouldn't, until you have brought them into a place where they should be smiled at."

3) I prefer honestly. Yes you may miss out on the few dollars separating the price between your favourite and the most expensive dishes, but you can talk honestly and with no guilt about the dishes you really like. This then positions you as a server who speaks honestly and enthusiastically about dishes that are good, such that you can make up (and exceed) the price difference when it comes to upselling side dishes and desserts (and of course the higher tips simply for being more likeable)

Hope that answered your questions. Thanks!

I haven't released a book yet, but I love the name! Maybe for the x-rated version!

I'm not a fan of that. If the customer is going to tip me well I want them to be fully aware of it. A tip that is given by a distracted person will only introduce the chance that they will leave and later regret the size of the tip - less likely to then come back, less likely to tip well/at all next time etc.

Instead, I want customers fully aware that they are tipping me the amount they are, and fully glad of the decision to leave that tip! That's the hard part, but its easy once you know how.

Thanks for the question

A simply one would be to nod while upselling. People instinctively will want to mirror you, so they will start to nod themselves, then their brain will think they must agree with you, then they are more likely to order it.

Can work quite well in a bar, particularly as the nodding can be done in beat to the music :)

Remember though, only works if the customer genuinely wants a drink and the drink you are upselling is something they might consider/like. Its good that you don't like pushy-ness, me neither.

Thanks for the question

Stop trying to smile at everyone.

Smiling should be given to people who want to be smiled at, and any server will know that there are many customers that instantly dislike you if you come over smiling gleefully all over the place.

Instead, take a moment to mirror their body language and build an unconscious connection with them. Then smile. The shifting of the order of the smile brings massive improvements to the quality of the interaction between you and the guest.

We have different types of techniques for different things, but pretty much everything stems from the basic principle of Mirroring. It can sometimes get me into a bit of bother with people that think that smiling at everyone is the answer to everything, but my own experience as a server tells me that many feel this is not accurate and needs revision.

Hope that helps

Thanks for the question