thehofstetter

Bachelorette parties. They are the worst. They want the show to be about them, and don't care if they ruin the experience for everyone else in the room.

Clubs that give them discounts are being very short-sighted.

More often the first than the second.

Usually they're just attention seekers - not even trying to be funny necessarily, but just sadly trying to matter. It's gross.

Ich bin ein pizza.

I remember that show - that was freaking PACKED.

I gravitate towards the dark stuff. Comedians are like porn stars in that it takes WAY freakier shit to get us off. So my favorite is a street joke.

"What is 12 inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night?"

"Sudden infant death syndrome."

I know it's fucking terrible, but that is why I like it. It's the darkest joke I have ever heard.

With 100% honesty, I'd rather just do my set. I am proud of my stand-up, and I became a comic because I like using the stage to make important points. If a heckler happens, I can handle it. But I'd rather do what I came to do.

A sniper may be a good shot - but only a psychopath enjoys murdering people. Some days they'd rather just sit on a roof and eat a sandwich.