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yasminecoach83 karma

All the time :) Joking! I would say about 20% of the time. Here are some examples:

  • A man in his 40's who only dated college women up until he chatted with me. Combine that with him touching my leg during our initial consultation and we had a no-go. I later heard that he demanded a refund from a colleague of mine who worked with him. He was trouble.

  • A man his 20's who clearly had Apergers and had not yet been diagnosed or worked with that issue first.

  • A female CEO of a tech firm in SF, who was overly demanding and only wanted a Harvard-educated, fellow CEO with stunning good looks. That's not love, that's superficiality.

That's just a small highlight. Hope it answered your question!

yasminecoach60 karma

Love this question! Thanks Krispy89. Here are 5 Do's and Don'ts

--DO online dating (the horror, I know)

Don't exhaust yourself with serial dating. It will start to become an interview process and that's the best way to get sad quickly.

--DO some serious self examination. Ask yourself these key questions: do you embody the qualities that your ideal partner would appreciate? If not, are you cultivating those qualities?

Don't think you have to be "perfect" before you can attract a great partner

--DO experiment and date different folks, allowing for the fact that attraction can grow

Don't continue dating someone you were never attracted to in the first place. I've had one too many female clients who tried to force themselves to date a guy they had no attraction towards.

--DO Good hygiene

Don't ignore this advice. Seriously. Brush your tongue too.

--DO find love everywhere and recognize it comes in different forms. You'll be less obsessive when you're active on the dating scene. When you recognize your life is full and complete already, you can be present and aware of someone else in a more generous way. You can be more in tune with who that person is instead of focusing on whether they fulfill what you want

Don't give up on romantic love.

I hope that was helpful! xoxo

yasminecoach37 karma

  1. I would encourage you to create an action plan and stick to it. When people have been outside of the dating game for a while they can become passive. If you're serious about dating then ask yourself what you have to do to get where you want to be. Then create a tangible plan and go for it. Best of luck.

  2. No tragedies luckily. Although I guess folks who are looking for a resume (6'2, CEO, Ivy educated, and piercing blue eyes) are tragic in their own way :-) I don't work with folks like that.

  3. Most inspiring story: A client in his early 40's with ZERO dating experience being able to date confidently within 3 months. He's turning into quite the charmer. He's such a good guy, so the transformation is one that allows him to show women how awesome he is instead of masking any insecurities or vices.

yasminecoach37 karma

Great question! First and foremost I would say look at any past experiences you've had with rejection and deal with any trauma or anxiety around that first. You want to become "rejection-proof". The more you can laugh in the face of rejection, the more success and happiness you'll have in your love life. Then educate yourself. Dating is a social skillset - you can learn it, but it takes experimentation, and you have to accept that you will be rejected. Good luck :)

yasminecoach36 karma

Some quick tips :-)

  1. Pictures pictures pictures. They're the most important part of your profile.

  2. Have someone you trust to give you constructive criticism. I've had a number of clients say "oh yeah, my sister told me that picture/profile paragraph/message was horrible, but I didn't listen". Don't rely fully on your Mom because she has Mom goggles.

  3. Talk about what you DO want, not what you don't. e.g "attention, all you girls with daddy issues and gold-diggers: you need not apply" - yikes, now that's a turn off. More subtle statements of "I don't want X or Y" are also a turn off if there's too many of them. My best guess of the psychology behind it: we, as the reader, automatically think you may be a negative person and/or accusing us of those qualities. It's not necessarily fair or rational but it is a turn off regardless.

  4. Think of online dating as the sexy cousin of LinkedIn. You're still marketing yourself and you have to focus on impressing your audience, but it's more fun (unless you really love LinkedIn?).

  5. Speaking of impressing your audience = no generic messages. This note is especially for men, since they have to do more of the pursuing. Even if you created a special message for someone, if she can't tell you personalized it for her, she's less likely to respond.