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I'm Ryan North! I write Dinosaur Comics, the Adventure Time comics, and I'm Kickstarting a choose-your- own-path version of Hamlet. AMA
I've done an AMA before, but that was three years ago! Here's some new things I've done since then:
- Tons more Dinosaur Comics! I write them all by myself
- Machine of Death came out too! I co-edited that book, which became the #1 bestselling book on Amazon.com the day it launched and made Glenn Beck declare me part of a liberal culture of death. NICE
- BF, where I did a page-by-page review of the insane novelization of Back To The Future; it's bonkers
- Adventure Time, where I write Adventure Time comics! It's extremely math I can assure you
- To Be Or Not To Be: that's my choose-your-own-Hamlet book where you can also play as Ophelia or the ghost! Maybe you should get yourself a copy is what I'm thinking. I was asking for $20k and we broke that in 3.5 hours, and now we're at over a quarter of a million dollars. AHHHHHH
Ask me anything about anything, okay??
PROOF IT IS ME: I linked to this with my Twitter account!
FULL DISCLOSURE: Secretly I am only here to promote Rampart
UPDATE (11:54 EST): This has been an amazingly rad four hours but I've got an appointment I have to get to soon! I'll try to answer questions when I get back. THANK YOU EVERYONE, YOU ARE ALL INDIVIDUALLY... THE BEST
Hobbes4247791206 karma
I just want you to know, your writing style and weird (in the best way!) sense of humor make my day, every day. Except weekends and Canadian holidays.
And I got paid today, so I can finally give you money for that Kickstarter!
killrdave357 karma
Thank you for making me laugh once a day for the past three years of my PhD. You've made me about 1% less productive.
killrdave170 karma
I've just had an extension approved as I missed my original deadline. The extension is funded by the Irish government. We're already broke enough as it is Ryan. Do you...do you hate the Irish?
qwantz408 karma
If I said I had a bumper sticker that read "I RESPECT THE IRISH" would that help, or would that seem like an oddly specific preemptive denial?
beetnemesis350 karma
Have you noticed that you are like some kind of linguistic black hole, and people often start writing like you when in the presence of you or your works? IS THIS AWESOME Y/N?
untowardlands338 karma
Hey. It's Joey. I tried to talk to you on PRIVATE TIMES OTR but you said you were "too busy" over on "reddit" so I'll just ask here.
What do you think of this comic idea for today? Too wordy?
Did you ever have one of those dreams
where you're inexplicably naked in your old high school principal's office
and suddenly can't remember what the dream was?
qwantz138 karma
Maybe you could make it "where you're inexplicably naked in the principal's office" if you wanted it to be shorter, but I don't think it's necessary!
thehappycactus290 karma
I was tinkering with some mobile game development last year and used T-Rex as a sprite to test with. What would you think of a silly little mobile game starting T-Rex stompin' around town? :D
gg4465a249 karma
You and Pequin should guest-write for each other! Oh wait, supposed to be a question.
You and Pequin should guest-write...for each other?
westyfield221 karma
If you could team up with four other people, Voltron style, to form one super-awesome-dude/lady-hybrid, whom would you choose, and why?
qwantz577 karma
THIS is a good question!
- Joey Comeau because pals
- My wife Jenn because loooooove
- My dog Chompsky because of increased nose powers
- Patrick Stewart because I want his voice
Together we would be an unstoppable, hairy, stentorian machine of fun times.
qwantz290 karma
I hope to have fun times with my friends, and I dream about fun times with my friends! I am big into pals, Joey. YOU KNOW THIS
bobf169 karma
How do you deal with the difficult task of keeping your comic free of typos ?
qwantz270 karma
Ladies and gentlemen, bobf corrected a typo in today's comic, where I used a 0 instead of an O. He is unto a god.
qwantz237 karma
Hah! First time I've had a typo corrected in an AMA. This has been fixed - thank you!
MrDerk47 karma
He gets occasional emails from jerks like me who spot the ones that make it through.
qwantz86 karma
And usually they're apologetic when really I'm super glad to receive them so that I can correct the mistake!
Sauce_Pain90 karma
I was entirely unapologetic in correcting "lazer" and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
qwantz192 karma
AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE, IT'S LIGHT AMPLIFIED by ZETA-WAVE EMISSION RADIATION
qwantz325 karma
I CAME READY FOR THIS QUESTION
The former, because he's big and easy to avoid. But if we have to fight, still I'd go with the former because death by giant duck would be a heck of a lot faster and more pleasant than death by 100 tiny dinosaurs.
theGreyjoy96 karma
I'm going to have to counter this answer. Having been in violent engagements with normal-sized ducks, I'll tell you it's no fun. You'd probably get batted around with giant wings which would bash you up pretty bad without killing you. Then you'd be gummed and swallowed, possibly while still alive...no fun.
Now, when dealing with duck-sized T-Rexes, consider this: They probably can't jump very high and those stumpy little arms keeping them from climbing/overwhelming you. With a good pair of boots to protect your ankles, you'd probably have a fair shake at punting enough of them around to convince the others to find some easier game.
throwaway689908150 karma
I never realised the images in each Dinosaur Comic was the same until a month or so ago. Do you think I am stupid?
qwantz211 karma
Nope! I actually take that as a compliment, because it says that the comics stand entirely on their own even without the visual conceit. So yay!
throwaway68990851 karma
Yup, you are an excellent writer, and I'm going to buy a Wee Rex plushie key chain thing soon, am I a child for finding it adorable?!
qwantz155 karma
No you are a mature adult who knows what they like and is not ashamed when what they like is awesome!
spielzebub134 karma
I know you have a bunch of novelty domain names, like http://chewbac.ca, that redirect to qwantz.com. What's your favourite?
qwantz312 karma
The fact that I own hotforthecock.com and can AND HAVE pointed it anywhere at my merest whim brings me no end of pleasure. It's pointing at qwantz right now though which I don't understand, I have no memory of doing that
Spugly169 karma
This seems like a cunning scheme designed specifically to get me to look at "hotforthecock.com."
It worked perfectly.
TheJanks75 karma
I own "cockgoeshere.com", and never knew what to do with it till now.
Thank you.
edit : TARGET ACQUIRED - DNS is propogating!
fakegeekgirl123 karma
I've heard the rumor bouncing about the intertubes that the Twilight franchise was based on a true story: your relationships with Joey Comeau and Andrew Hussie.
Care to comment?
qwantz263 karma
I've never performed a C-section on Andrew with my teeth while Joey watched, so clearly these are scurrilous allegations
rachaar119 karma
What were you like as a child? Were you always goofy and abstract and hilarious? Were you a nerd? TELL ME EVERYTHING.
qwantz357 karma
Awkward? And tall and gangley? And tons of acne. I was on prescription stuff for a few years, just to stop scarring. I was (AND REMAIN) big into Star Trek, and you can tell I love you because I'm doing this and I haven't even watched the trailer yet. IT'S OUT TODAY
I think you get funny by always trying to be funny, because then you're looking for jokes in situations and always practicing in your head. And it's not like "today I am going to be ON and I am going to be funny all the time", it's more like "I will try to entertain myself by thinking of jokes about current circumstances".
Here's something cool: if you watch comedians while they listen to other comedians or funny movies or whatever, a cool thing happens: often, they'll laugh before the joke actually happens. I do this too, and it can be annoying for others, but what's happening is you're listening to the person tell the joke, and often you'll reach a point where you can see where the person is going - and it's hilarious - before they actually get a chance to say it. That's what I'm talking about: always running stuff in your head.
rachaar72 karma
Thanks, Ryan - this is an AWESOME response. I can't even be funny about it, I just love it.
I think you are freaking amazingly talented and rad. I was delighted to be one of the first backers of your CYOA Hamlet. You are a shining beacon of hope to all of the acne-ridden, awkward, gangly, nerdy kids out there. :)
wait, what I mean is TOPS BLOOBY
qwantz358 karma
Yesterday he tried to steal a sausage off the table and I pulled it out of his throat, so he's not ALWAYS the raddest: sometimes he is a stinker.
Buuuut we're teaching him "Go see Ryan!" and "Go see Jenn!" which is like "come", but in reverse. The nice thing about this trick is the other person has to reward him. Combine this with "pick it up" and "drop it" and a piece of paper, and you have an in-house dog message delivery system. I THINK THAT WILL BE REALLY NEAT
chamrajnagar21226 karma
It took me a second to realize that you were not referring to the real Noam Chomsky.
funksaurus48 karma
I read this entirely thinking you were talking about the human Noam Chomsky. The imagery is spectacular.
Ranmara97 karma
How much time is it acceptable to spend trying to come up with an appropriate pun for a situation before you should give up?
qwantz202 karma
Before this question: no. After this question: yes, briefly, but I then dismissed the idea because without the middle name "Mc" it wouldn't work.
qwantz338 karma
There's no way to answer this without it sounding like a euphemism. That said: I LIKE MY WOOD HARD
korogi82 karma
Where did you get the drawings for Dinosaur Comics? They look like they came from an old-school dinosaur coloring book which is pretty awesome. Also, you gots fans in Japan! Love your work, dude! :D
qwantz161 karma
Yay Japan!
They're from an ancient clip art program I had when I started - it was the only drawing software I had beside MS Paint. They're posable (you could move the arms and stuff) which was useful, but even so I stuck with a lot of the demo poses.
I am not what you would call a "visual artist" :o
sitruss33 karma
Was the clip art public domain or have you ever had to deal with licensing or something like that? Or was it all just so old that the company that made it doesn't even exist anymore?
qwantz71 karma
Royalty free! The company still has a website but it hasn't been updated in years so I dunno what their deal is.
missharrietpotter79 karma
As an English major and a terrible artist, I've always loved that you use the same images over and over, which forces a stronger reader relationship to text than other webcomics and also gets you out of drawing something new every day. After so many years, do you still enjoy that format and its constraints, or do you wish that you had given yourself a little more leeway/ability to change things up?
qwantz140 karma
Oh I still love it! The layout is SUPER flexible: all I need to do is add "MEANWHILE IN TUDOR ENGLAND" above one panel and the entire visual narrative of the strip is changed. Plus things like Adventure Time let me write in different formats, so I don't feel like I'm missing out!
qwantz104 karma
Super well. We're working on one big final post that details our last purchases!
aynrandisabitch72 karma
I tattooed T-Rex on my calf. It hurt less than my other tattoos. Do you have a tattoo of anyone else's IP on your body? Would you?
qwantz245 karma
That's awesome!
I have a sailor heart with a banner on my right arm, but the banner is blank so I can write in different things. This tattoo is FUTURE-READY.
I'd worry about someone else's stuff because (I PROMISE I WON'T DO THIS) what if tomorrow's comic features T-Rex saying "Gosh I sure don't like... ALL MINORITIES"? You're stuck with a racist dude on your calf.
ps I promise I won't do this, that would be literally the worst!
aynrandisabitch63 karma
OH NO THAT WOULD BE AWFUL. Although I guess I would just tattoo a banner under him that says "DISCLAIMER I DONT HATE MINORITIES" or something.
What's the best thing you've ever written in the banner?
qwantz174 karma
I just love the idea of someone who likes hot dogs SO MUCH that he gets a tattoo of it on his arms.
BLITZCRUNK12354 karma
Which Dinosaur Comics character is most like you? In appearance, personality and/or Monopoly proficiency?
qwantz290 karma
MONOPOLY IS THE WORST. That said, I like God a lot, I feel he is fun to write and pretending to be him feels natural. It feels right
Smoochitis53 karma
Ryan, I'm a huge fan! My user name was inspired by one of your comics! :D
My question: if you had to lose one of your 5 senses, but that meant the other 4 would become more powerful, which one would you choose to lose?
qwantz138 karma
Assuming we're going with the Classical Five, then smell is the obvious choice, because in the question we're already assuming taste is independent, so food tastes BETTER, plus now I have the visual acuity to detect dangerous gasses, so smell is no longer necessary.
AlwaysDrunkAlwaysOn78 karma
I have Anosmia and have never been able to smell 'cause I was born all MESSED UP.
I can taste, albeit I don't know if it's drastically different 'cause I've never been able to smell. HOWEVER, I can say, I FART ALL OF THE TIME AND WHEN PEOPLE FART IN RETALIATION, I LAUGH. HARD.
babylertry49 karma
Beetles or stones? Meaning, would you rather rule over a kingdom of beetles or sentient stone people?
qwantz153 karma
Mitch Hedberg (such tight writing) Jerry Seinfeld (so influential) Douglas Adams (master of absurd) Bill Watterson (master of sweet) um the others are people I know personally so it would be embarrassing. But if you check the comics I link to on qwantz, every one there is doing something I wish I could do, but better!
lar45 karma
If Michael Crichton had been able to do a Jurassic Park version of Dinosaur Comics, what would T-Rex, Utahraptor, and Dromiceiomimus do in the movie? If not a Jurassic Park-type movie, what kind of dinosaur movie would you want your comics to be made into?
Seeing T-Rex and everyone else on Skull Island in the original King Kong, posed like panel 3, would be the best...
qwantz155 karma
T-Rex would take the place of the T.rex in the film, but he would stomp on the car, question how he managed to scale that giant wall and get inside the building when the doors are all only human-sized. Utahraptor would take the place of the utahraptor-sized velociraptors in the film, but would not struggle with doors and be intrigued by their own reflection. Dromiceiomimus would be revealed when one of the humans pulls off their mask at the end.
cr3ative42 karma
If you were to become a supervillain, what would you do with the $250k to aid your most dastardly plan?
qwantz133 karma
Haha, well, it's not like I get $250k! The books cost money, shipping costs money, everything every costs money...
THAT SAID, giant lens to focus the sun's rays, because hello
temp132441 karma
Ryan, i have to be honest that I haven't read a large majority of your comics, but the one where the punchline is that you just don't get these dinosaur comics. That is still by far the best comic i've ever read.
qwantz79 karma
Thank you! As I have all the URLs and comics memorized, I can say that you're thinking of this one:
lewistm41 karma
How do you feel about bundling "Partying is such sweet sorrow" T-Shirts at some levels of To Be or Not To Be?
qwantz66 karma
I'd like to, but they're from TopatoCo and the books are from BreadPig, so there's shipping shenanigans to consider. :(
rbxbx40 karma
Do your fans often geek out on you? If so, how do you handle it? Flusteringly?
Alternate version:
Do you have fans that play it super-cas(ual)? Do they make you feel like less of a person or just remind you of the days of mortality you've since left behind?
qwantz143 karma
Flusteringly, yep!
There's been a few times where I'm walking down the street, and someone will be walking towards me, and they'll stare at me thinking "Is that... Ryan?" and I'll notice and stare at them thinking "Is that... guy staring at me because he knows I'm Ryan?" and so we pass each other awkwardly without exchanging a words.
A few times when I saw someone wearing one of my shirts I'd say "Hey, nice shirt!" in an "oh ho ho I made it" sort of way but not once did they know who I was so I stopped doing that pretty fast because it was really embarrassing.
rbxbx57 karma
This reminds me of a story I heard a comedian tell about how they'd grown so accustomed to people asking to take pictures with them that they started assuming that was the norm. One day, a young couple asks him to take a photograph. Naturally, being the generous celebrity he was he sidled up next to the young man's ladyfriend for a picture. Turns out they had no idea who he was and simply wanted him to take a photograph of them on vacation. HILARITY ENSUES.
Anyway, good thing you stopped doing that.
Thanks for the answer :)
qwantz72 karma
Haha, amazing. I don't even assume people want their books signed at shows, because sometimes they don't, and saying "Hey, can I sign this for you?" and them saying "Um, no, it's okay" makes you feel like the most egotistical jerk in the world. But then sometimes you can tell they really would like it signed and are just shy, so I'll ask then.
RubixsQube36 karma
Ryan, My girlfriend and I are like, pretty big fans of yours. Both of us met you at Comic Con two years ago. We were dressed as Batman and Robin, and you signed a book for us. The thing is, I recently had to move away for a postdoc across the country but you had signed the book for both of us and so we had to decide who would be the person who took the book. And now you're doing this AMA, and I thought you'd be a great person to ask: which is the best of all of the sciences?
No waffling and saying they're all great or whatever this isn't a kids game, Ryan.
qwantz100 karma
Well clearly the answer is LINGUISTICS, but if neither of you are in linguistics then hold tight to the idea that seconds place isn't so bad, and ignore all those NO FEAR shirts in the 90s that claimed second place is first loser. It is, obviously, but there's no shame in losing to linguistics.
qwantz100 karma
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future
Also file under: MOST DEPRESSING.
tl;dr: everybody dies in 800 million years? I thought we had BILLIONS
qwantz94 karma
They're two sides of the same beautiful coin, my friend.
INTERESTING FACT: they never talk to each other in the play! Also, everyone who talks to Hamlet ends up dead, except for Horatio. Which is really just a way of saying "pretty much everyone in the play ends up dead, except for Horatio"
thornae37 karma
...and both sides of the coin are heads.
That is interesting - I hadn't considered that. And second point, not true! The gravedigger's fate is undetermined.
Also, I've always liked the summary of Hamlet that read "Prince of Norway becomes unopposed ruler of Denmark."
Leterren31 karma
Ryan, about two years ago I tweeted you saying I used this comic of yours (http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1713) to get to first base with an attractive lady... and I would just like to say that two days ago we got engaged. This wouldn't have happened without you and I think you're pretty swell for it
MalcolmPF29 karma
Did you just imply that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is, in fact, a Bussard Collector? Because that is awesome. I have a mental image of two of them strapped to the Enterprise.
inflatablestoat29 karma
If you were the Mayor of Toronto, what would be your first official act?
qwantz131 karma
Besides a monorail down to the world's largest Ferris wheel?
Declaring the last two years non-canon.
westyfield27 karma
Also would you like to come to Somerset, UK and hang out? I feel like we could be great bros (disclaimer: you would learn some funny words like gurt, lush, and casn't, which I think is reason enough to visit)?
qwantz57 karma
Is "casn't" is a contraction of "can has not"? I casn't imagine a situation where that would be useful / grammatical
westyfield38 karma
It means the same as can't actually, it's just a strange West Country thing. Our land is a magical land where everyone talks like a pirate. :)
cirion526 karma
By now, you have a wealth of MEANWHILE IN TUDOR ENGLAND comics under your belt. Did you find any of them influencing your writing of To Be Or Not To Be?
qwantz53 karma
It's funny - someone emailed me saying "Geez just write your own version of Hamlet already!" like 3 weeks ago, and then when I announced To Be Or Not To Be they wrote back saying "OMG YOU FORESHADOWED IT".
I think Shakespeare's a lot of fun, mainly because he's SO ridiculously canonized. Like, you say "I don't like Shakespeare" and people just assume you're uneducated! Because that opinion is WRONG. So it's fun to play with it: the format of my book serves to take away that air of authority from the play, and Shakespeare in my comic is BASICALLY just a sullen teen.
PlamZ25 karma
Why is adventure time so awesome that i want to scream like a girl, each time i see Jake or Finn? Please explain.
Proprietous24 karma
Mr. North you are super amazing and I admire everything you do. You have provided me with so many laughs! The highest laughs-per-minute of any author I have ever read. And I have read all of your writings! So that's a lot of laughs. And as I am a PhD student in computer science, those laughs are much needed. I've got your Dinosaur Comics whiteboard on my desk at school and it has made me A HIT. (I'm the guy that keeps sending you whiteboard comics on twitter!)
My question: how do you grow such an amazing and lustrous beard?
Second question: will you please sport your beard forever because it is AMAZING and pushes your already awe-inspiring handsomeness to unprecedented levels? (Card carrying beard enthusiast here.)
Third (real) question: do you ever suffer from procrastination when things are tough, and what do you do to combat it?
qwantz47 karma
1: The secret is to wait and not die and it happens on its own. 2: I actually shaved it off JUST THIS WEEK because I like growing them out too, so it's nice to restart once in a while! 3: The secret is to keep at it (dumb obvious advice) and ALSO to have cheats (sneaky useful advice). For comic writing, I have text files of comics I've never finished but are maybe almost there. If I'm stuck, I can abandon the one I'm working on, put it in the unfinished pile, and grab something else. Then my job's almost done, and all I have to do is make it not suck! That seems like an easier job than starting fresh, and sometimes a few week's distance from when I first wrote it can help. I think the longest I've done this was 3 years between "first written" and "finished", which was a bit nuts.
qwantz75 karma
That said, if there weren't criminal consequences to publishing terrible parenting advice... MAYBE.
DanJFriedman23 karma
Hi Ryan! Thanks for doing this! Are you as rad as you seem to be, or is it an internet-induced illusion?
As for a real question: did you ever even give any thought to your Kickstarter taking off in the way it did? And if not, did you have any crazy physical reaction when it went nuts?
qwantz94 karma
I thought it'd reach $20k - felt good about that. And I felt there was an outside chance of $100k. We did $20k in 3.5 HOURS, and hit 50k in a single day. It is extremely fair to say that I did not expect that. When we hit $20k I shouted "wooooooo!" but I hadn't really spoken much that day so it came out a bit rough and I'm glad nobody heard it because they all would've withdrawn their pledges.
qwantz55 karma
I didn't! Well, I didn't write the code. There's a big XML file out there with all the dialogue in Dinosaur Comics and that was used to give him his brain, and by "brain" I mean @qwantz grabs a random line without any regard to context.
GrowlsBySprouls21 karma
I just want to say that I love your comics and they make me pee myself regularly. Any advice on what to do about that?
qwantz48 karma
Get up at 6:30, have a shower, write a comic, now it's 10:30 and hopefully you've written tomorrow's comic! It still takes about 3-4 hours a comic, which seems like a lot for 6 panels, but it's the only way I've got.
nemone20 karma
When does the Dinosaur Comics Guide to Generative Grammar come out? Or Choose Your Own Universal Grammar?
These projects need to be done, and you, Ryan, are our best shot.
qwantz46 karma
I need to finish Elementary, My Dear Watson! Sherlock Holmes Teaches Finite State Machines first
beetnemesis19 karma
Why didn't you mention that you made Project Wonderful? Project Wonderful seems pretty great.
Questions: - Is it, in fact, wonderful? - Has it continued to be wonderful as time passes? - Is its wonderfulness rising or falling? Are we entering or leaving the Age of Wonderful?
qwantz43 karma
I should've!
ANSWERS: 1 - YES 2 - YES 3 - RISING 4 - RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
also if you take those answers out of context it sounds I believe it sounds like salacious dialogue from an adult film
Philberta19 karma
Would you say Dinosaur Comics is the best comic for meeting pals you can smooch? On a related note, I met my rad boyfriend on account of Dinosaur Comics, so thanks for that!
MrDerk16 karma
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? (Ignoring vitamin deficiencies, etc.)
qwantz63 karma
I really like meat sandwiches, but I call them "meat sandwiches" instead of "burgers" because then I feel bad about how unhealthy they are and therefore don't eat them all the time. Pizza is very versatile, I feel like I could live off pizza and it'd never get old. IN FACT, I had the idea of doing just that for a month, but got busy (there'd be dessert pizza, sushi pizza, etc - IT WOULD WORK)
Dirt00616 karma
Did you know that a certain dinosaur appears on official Chicago transit maps?
[deleted]16 karma
What are your opinions on the hot issue of >2-word contractions like 'twouldn't've (it would not have)?
qwantz18 karma
I love them but people always try to call you out on them, which is disappointing.
qwantz1498 karma
Ryan are you super handsome or just regular handsome?
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