I AM T.J. MILLER AMA!

Hi everyone! ASK ME ANYTHING. HAPPY EASTER and HAPPY 4/20! Let's get this whole thing done. It's real and it's time.

Please I hope some of you are doing four of the twenties right now. I am.

http://imgur.com/nIx1ySc

That's fucking awesome.

What state of Denver are you currently in?

I am currently in the state of Denver. Headed to the State of Capitol Hill, which is in the heart of The State Of Denver. That's. Hard. Core.

I love Silicon Valley! How are you going to navigate the challenges of having a main cast member pass away? Thanks for making me laugh!

The loss of CEW was fucking hard. I saw him with @rosepetalpistol at a place on the east side days before he passed away, his wife and beautiful daughter were there and we talked for 40 minutes about life, the show, and him. It was a huge blow to the show, he was the funniest person on it. So he's irreplaceable and I think that everyone felt that, and I felt worst for the writers and editors, seeing him over and over, writing him out of the show, the whole lot of it. But in the most disgusting and at the same time beautiful way, "the show must go on."

I think that saying means something bigger than most people think. The show is the most important thing in many ways, because it is for the whole, for the masses, for the audience-- they must be entertained and distracted, best of all made to laugh and feel happy for the ticket price. One person's death is a tragedy, to be sure, but the show must continue for the hundreds of thousands of millions who must see a show because tragedy is coming their way. Tragedy is on it's way or already there for all of us who's uncle is dying, who just lost their beloved pet, their own death approaching one day, or affecting everything they do. All we do is motivated by using time the right way, not wasting time, because we have a finite amount of it. But it continues even without us. This is why Time is God, which I'll explain later.

But regardless, the show must go on.

Thank you for such a meaningful answer. You're awesome.

No you are. I'm working on making this one as cool as possible. Tweet it out if you think other people want to talk. My girl's asleep and I'm having a smoke filled time.

Hey man, I opened for you at the Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls. I was the kid in the wheelchair. We took a selfie. My question is, you trying to hang out after this AMA? We can go get tacos or something.

hahahah. I remember you! You're fucking hilarious man. It was a good selfie. Yeah i"m chilling at my place after the AMAs w/ my girl smoking and ordering pizza to smoke. You pizza'ing?

What was the worst movie you've ever worked on, and why was it Gulliver's Travels?

hahaahahahah. 3 points. swish.

How hard was it to maintain the secrecy of Cloverfield while shooting?

I got in trouble more than a few times. That's for sure.

How many people are doing FOUR OF THE TWENTIES RIGHT NOW????? I mean really this is an unmistakable AMA. Get into it. I am. Say YAY if you are.

DDU*DDEEE mY PIZZ JUST CAMED! IM SO EXCITED I'M GOING TO ANXWER SOME MORE FOUR TWEENTY A;SLFEFFIE! I'M TAKING A SELFI! LOOOOK AT ME SELFIIIIEEE!!! (confetti cannons, gunshots)

Love Cash's singing.

I hate you.

Hi T.J, I have enjoyed your comedy for a long time. A while back I got drunk and said something stupid to you on twitter. You blocked me. I would like to say I have learned my lesson and would really appreciate it if you would unblock me. My twitter username is the same as my reddit username.

I will never excuse your transgressions. I will however unblock you if I remember to. I'm SUPER SUPER fucking drunk right now. I'm serious.

unblocked.

Hey TJ. Would you ever do Doug Bensons weed smoking podcast Getting Doug with High?

Also Silicon Valley is the best comedy on TV hands down. #GREG!

I worry about that because I do love doing voiceover in children's movies and television. I have like 5 jobs with those huge studios and tv networks, so I don't know if I want me online actually smoking weed. But I would love to do it of course. I love doug and I love talking shop, and that's a hilarious show to do it on. But we'll see.

Are you a fan of Rick and Morty? and have they asked you to do any voice work for season 2?

Don't know them. Link?

Was it weird during Yogi Bear when you had to talk to the cartoon bear that wasn't exactly there?

Absolutely. Weirder still was that my brain, slowly bleeding from a minor hemorrhage caused by an AVM (different from an AMA) was causing me to go insane, so that added to the madness. You truly don't even question your sanity when you are losing it. It's such a bizarre thing....

Fun fact, he had a brain tumor at the time. Listen to his episode of You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes, he talks all about it.

I do indeed. Also look up "This is not happening" on @comedycentral digital and I tell the story there too. There is a lot more to all of it, but so far that is what I'm comfortable communicating. It's a lot to think about and takes a while to process in order to articulate it.

Now that some time has gone by, what are your thoughts on the Dane Cook Twitter incident and everything that came after? If the same thing happened at a club tonight would you handle it the same way?

Reference

I would not go on twitter I would just approach the comic after the set and say something. But I knew he was leaving as I went on....

The point is, Dane Cook and I are cool. We talked it out and we are cool now and I've had a few good conversations. He and I basically put it this way: You're a comedian and I'm a comedian, I may not respect your comedy but I respect that you are a comedian. And that goes for me too.

What was your worst experience as a comedian/actor so far?

A dude tried to punch me in the face on stage at the Atlanta Punchline after his heckling wife told the audience their infant son died six months earlier. Long story short. But it was pretty overwhelming. I got a standing ovation because of how I handled it, which still made me so sad I considered quitting comedy and parked outside a strip club I was too depressed to go into. wow. that's depressed.

What did Stainer do in the break room to ensure that his boss knows he's crazy?

FYI - my wife and I yell that at each other all the time, one of our all time favorite quotes

"I AM A CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER, YOU KNOW THIS FROM THE BREAKROOM!" Ah man, that makes me so happy you quote that. I riffed it. So nice of you. I think that he just has fucking lost it in the break room and tore shit up, just shown some of the anger and madness that is brewing inside of him. I love it. Maybe he broke a microwave over his knee.

Hey TJ! I am a huge fan of Cash Levy’s podcast that you appear on (Cashing in with TJ Miller). Why do you think he has such a hard time getting new guests?

He asks the HARD HITTING questions and gets the HARD TO UNDERSTAND answers. He's a journalist, in the true sense, and an inquisitor of the highest order. People are afraid of that. I'm not of course, because I make no sense.

T.J.! What are your thoughts on Eric Andre's antics from The Jeselnik Offensive?

I loved them. So much. I love Eric Andre. He is a lunatic too. One of the few legit ones. I missed his birthday and it is a major regret this year. He's a ton of fun. I called him before the show and said "I'm gonna do something really fucking crazy on the show. I'm not going to tell you what it is but I wanted to give you the heads up." He said "Okay cool, I'll go nuts too." I loved it. A lot. So I always welcome him in any situation to do whatever the fuck he wants. I've riffed against crazier things than he could ever bring to the table.

Do you feel like mash up will ever come back? It was a great show, and a lot of people would love for it to get that second season.

"I don't want it to come back. There was an individual indelibly tied to that project that was impossible to create with and did some friendship damage that made me say-- let us to other things that will make us laugh, it is no one thing"

-James Earl Jones

THANK YOU GUYS SIGNING OFF NOW.

Thank you guys so much for watching or reading or whatever the hell we have been doing here. Watch Silicon Valley Sundays on HBO, come see my standup, check out Search Party in theaters in September, Transformers 4, try and find some eggs, I tried to answer as many questions as I could, thanks so much for spending so much of your sunday with me and hugging to all of you. Spread the word about anything I'm doing that makes you laugh, i hope maybe then I could make some of your friends laugh. Maybe even some of your enemies too.

Have a twenty four of easters.

-t.j. Miller Hollywood, California, April 20th 2014

If Yogi Bear's name had been changed to Gladys for the movie, would you still have taken the role?

Nice you meet you.

Sincerely,

Gladys

NOOOOIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I HAVE A PHOBIA OF MEETING PEOPLE NAMED GLADYS BECAUSE THEN I COULD WRITE.... I COULD WRITE.... NOOOOO...... "GLADYS TO MEET YOU! I'M THE GLADDEST TO MEET YOU!!"" AHHHHHHHHH

Can you program my sprinkler system?

I can but I won't man. I'm too high and I got people to make laugh over here. Do it yourself or consider a rock garden. It's cheaper and easier on our mother earth, who is in a fight with our father earth right now. Something about hiding the eggs in places that are too easy to find.

What does Doug Benson taste like?

He tastes like success and innovation, he smells like he always has a line on the next big wave of technology and how to relate it to marijuana. He is a high-oneer. I MADE THAT UP DOUG OWES ME MONEY IF HE USES IT!!!

Weed, probably.

no, he tastes more like loyalty and quick wittedness.

What are your top two favorite deli meats?

I'm a fan of pastrami to be sure, and corned beef. But I think bologna is baloney. Seriously. I think it's absolute bullshit.

HEY TJ, I've been told that an Ask Me Anything is completely different than a segment of Ask the Masters (Maskers for short), but I was hoping you might still be able to share some of your consistently mask-related advice. Any idea how to make a solid easter bunny mask? I need something believable; trying to convince people I am the easter bunny. You know how it is.

I do know how it is. I rally am going to tell cash today who I am seeing that you said this. I love it.

What was it like getting killed by a gigantic alien creature?

awesome. They made a fake dead torso of me, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ugpgElqANU well that does't have it. Shit. It's in the hud diary from best buy. But anyway what am I even talking about. Look it was weird I saw and talked to a dead version of myself and that really puts a lot of things in perspective. I mean. It's gonna happen to all of us. Well not ALL.

How much of "Cashing In with TJ Miller" is improvised and how much is planned ahead of time?

It is all improvised. Cash prepares the questions but everything else we say or do is improvised. He is one of the best improvisers I have ever met. IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE TO SEE CASH LEVY LIVE DO IT. IT. IS. AMAZING.

are you cool with tim heidecker?

(I heard that one panel? about andy kaufmann with you guys)

I like him. I'm not sure he likes me. I think he is a genius, a gentleman, and a true absurdist. Now I respect Andy Kaufman, and there are parts of his philosophy that I even follow, but as a comedian, I didn't find him funny and found some of his stuff just self indulgent. Comedy is ultimately about the audience, not the comedian. So that is a very staunch stance to take, and one that probably makes me not as popular with certain comedians and them with me.

Hey Mr. Miller, I loved your commercials for the motorola phone and it was refreshing to see someone like you (not your usual commercial guy) in them. How were you approached for them? Were you part of the writing process? Thanks in advance! Edit: Spelling

Well that was such a scary one and I thank you so so so much for liking them. I was really worried they would ruin everything that I had built for doing comedy on a national level. I was worried it would look like I sold out and they weren't funny. But they worked. The directors were awesome, they offered me a lot of money, and the spots were really really well written. Then they let me improvise and write lines. It was really a more collaborative process than most movies I"ve been in. How weird is that? But I guess people liked them and that's all that matters. I've said the word "really" a lot in that answer and I'll own up to it. I'm really not ashamed of it.

Hey TJ!

Did you always "plan" on getting into comedy and acting, or did it just kind of "happen?"

Also, what would you be doing right now if you didn't get into comedy and acting?

I didn't plan on getting into comedy, but in high school and grade school I was interested in comedy. I PLAYED CHRISTOPHER ROBIN IN WINNE THE POOH WHEN I WAS IN 3RD GRADE MOTHERFUCKERS. Decided comedy was a real option sophomore year of college. receSs was the crew.

I would be a psychologist and not as happy or affecting to humanity. Sad face.

In honor of 420, what city has the best weed?

DENVER YEAHHHHHH

I remember you from Cloverfield. Is it true there's a sequel coming?

Not that I know of.

How awesome is Pete Holmes?

He is one of the greatest guys alive. I'm serious. He is one of my best friends. There is not a deeper, kinder, gentler mental giant than one pete holmes. I'm glad to know him.

Dude! T.J.! What happened to Goodwin Games?? that was the shit yo. Also, i don't normally talk like that, i'm sorry. and another also, im EXTREMELY jealous of the bong you had on silicon valley. you know, that 3D ball maze one? genius.

Goodwin is Good Gond. Because of FOX. Sad.

extremely genius. I'm on it.

Any updates on the GORBURGER tv show??? I believe you said a while back that it's going to be on the Fuse channel. And is there any way I can score one of those neat Gorburger shirts you had a ways back? I LOVE GORBURGER!!!

I just didn't do very well there but I hope people still like it. The club was just unorganized and the show was hard.

Working hard to make Gorburger a TV show. Working. Hard. Trust me I'm trying.

WOW, I finally caught one of these AMAs when the celebrity is still answering questions. Ok, serious question time.

How do you always give off that goofy look? Is natural or did you have to work on it (& it eventually just stuck)?

Please note that I am not trying to be rude. I honestly think it adds to your persona. Thanks for your time. Also, if you respond I'll also finally get the chance to state. "Thanks for responding.. , I love your work...., you're such a cool, down to earth guy...." for the first time too.

I just look goofy I think. I suppose I am good at making faces too. I study a lot how weird people's faces can be. And I just kept making weirder and weirder faces until I got an artillery of ones that you all think are funny. Second City and all my training I'm sure helped. I joke that all I do is make funny noises and weird noises for a living. But I'm serious. That's all I do. I'm not joking. I'm serious.

hi.

[deleted]

email my managers at 3arts or agents at WME. I will do any show and will never be too famous. See www.tjmillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com to get real about it.

So, what's Anthony Jeselnik like?

Fucking awesome. He is one of my best friends and the weird part is: We are very similar, and one of the things I admire most about him is how caring, kind, and nice he is. He really is one of the best guys I know, and would lay down on the tracks for any friend of his. I also think he is one of the few geniuses working today. He is one of the best writers, I am one of the worst, so I think we enjoy the difference in one another while still finding the other very very funny.

He also accepts my lunacy, understands my madness and gives me room to do all five.

If you could become any Muppet, which one would it be?

Damn that's a good one. I think Gonzo right? Or Fonzie? I think the joke telling bear right?

Have you thought about creating a real life Hall & Oates cover band? Because Adult Education was pretty tight

No way man. i'm terrible at music and I know nothing about it.

What is the best advice ever given to you?

Work harder than everyone around you. I can't remember if I gave myself this advice or it was gleamed from my family. But work ethic is god in the Miller family, we come from S.E. Kansas and Ohio, but the S.E. Kansas mentality of work above all else, second only to Family Above All Else (F.A.A.E.) is our credo and doctrine. Our Doctor is Alan Slammawitz.

Hi T.J., big fan! What was the atmosphere like when you were on @midnight? What was Chris Hardwick like?

Hardwick is amazing. He is down to earth and cool and funny and has well coiffed hair. It's cool there. We sort of hang out and joke around and do makeup and then go on and try and get some laughs. It definitely does not feel like you are on tv. Which I like.

How is your 4/20 easter festivus?

I haven't found. A. SINGLE. EGG.

WHERE ARE

ALL

THE

E G G S ?

How much of your dialogue in She's out of my League was improv? Absolutely love that movie! And HTTYD

I riff a lot on everything I do, or try to. Luckily now people sort of know that that's the deal. If they hire me, a lot of it will be improvised.

First of all, I'm a huge fan. I've been following you ever since 'Carpoolers' and I love your stand-up comedy. I'm also so happy that you've given me the opportunity to finally speak to you, even if it is through Reddit. Now... With your career on a steady incline and your experience writing stand-up comedy, do you ever see yourself writing or directing your own film and if so, what would the film look like?

Google Successful Alcoholics and "I'm having a difficult time killing my parents" those are both sundance films I wrote and starred in.

As for directing I don't know man. It's a lot of fucking work and sucks a year from you that you could be cross platforming and trying to improve the caliber of comedy across all mediums. I like movies but I don't need to direct them, I just have to make comedy in them.

Okay. Jesus. I need a water. Ask me something again later I'll be right back.

[deleted]

They don't invite me anymore. Which sort of suck because I love them.

hey tj! what's the funniest story you can share from working on carpoolers?

Jerry O'Connell whispered something to me about assassinating pussy. It was in jest to freak me out and it did. It did. The fat kid from stand by me. Unreal.

How high are you right now on a scale from 1 to 37 unicorns?

Twenty Wildabeasts.

Whats it like going from the awkward bumbling kind of outsider character you voiced in How to train a dragon, to playing Mark Wahlberg in the new transformers movie? what did you do in preparation for the role?

When I became Mark Wahlberg, in many ways he became me. And aren't I, even as him, sort of an awkward bumbling kind of outsider character I voiced in How To Train Your Dragon?

In the pilot, was getting Campbell's headquarters wrong intentional, or what? How did you end up with Paris, Texas and not Camden? But actually Silicon Valley is incredible and I hope you get a lot of seasons, also you ruled on idiot sitter and pretty much everything else you do. Sincerely, a fan who knows where Campbell's is located

I think we just thought that was the funniest city to say. It doesn't matter as much as the tech jargon being correct. There aren't a lot of soup headquarters nerds. Well. I guess there is one now. But you're awesome for the kind words man, and I think it will get a lot of seasons, and idiot sitter is fine and thank you!

Wow, you're amazing. What are your favorite books?

Favorite podcasts?

Biggest influences?

Huge fan thanks for doing the AMA, keep being awesome and tumor free!

I Jen. I don't like cats.
I have been reading a lot tonight because of @rosepetalpistol and her openness to talk about philosophy, which is most of what I read and is very hard to talk to people about because you come off as pretentious, or they don't want to ask questions for fear of looking stupid (no one looks stupid when they ask questions) or answer questions for fear of no knowing the answers (no one REALLY knows the answers anyway), so I like: Fragments of a Journal by Eugene Ionesco Nietzche (bio by Walter Kaufman is a great bible for Nietzche) Socrates (books about him and Plato's works) I'm reading a lot of psychology, some by Koestler I read comic theory, THE HUMOR CODE is a good read, as is Koestler's act of creation and I've been reading a lot of The Far Side and R. Crumb stuff too.

I don't really listen to podcasts, I'm too busy making a lot of mediocre schlock to hurl at the american public, but I like YMIW and DLM, both make me laugh and think.

Steve Martin is the biggest influence, Nick Swardson, Ionesco, basically Brent Weinbach, Nick Vatterott, any and all the absurdists...

I never had a tumor. I had an AVM. I was born with it. But I will stay alive until I die. THAT. IS. A. PROMISE.

Hey TJ! It's Carson V from G-Land in Denver. So great to see you doing a reddit AMA!

I saw you in the past two episodes of Silicon Valley and so glad to see you have been doing so well! Can't wait for the new episode tonight!

I thought "Carpoolers" was hilarious too. Too bad they canceled it. Stupid fucking decision on their part.

It seems like I see you in movies and TV commercials every other day. You deserve it, man!

Not sure if you remember, but the last time we hung out was with Jake L. at The Cricket in Cherry Creek drinking beers, then went back to my place and you and Jake ate Oat Nut bread and ricotta cheese sandwiches. It was SOOO gross! Then my neighbor kind of abducted you there for a few minutes. You came back to my place looking like you saw a ghost! It was fucking hilarious! At least for me and Jake. Not so much for you though. Hahahaha!!!

Anyway, just thought I'd drop by to say hello and to give my sincere congratulations for all your success! It's always good to see you on the tube! Keep up the good work!

If you're ever in Denver give me a call. I'm sure your mom has my mom's number.

Take care!

Dude you're AWESOME. You're one of my all time favorites from growing up. And I totally remember that night. Hope you're doing well man. I talk to jAKE sometime and he's good. Much love. 303.

Favorite GW memory?

Weirdest question of all. To be sure. At least the tag line. I'm doing well. My favorite memory from GW is sharing a bagel with @rosepetalpistol and establishing the ground rules would be for our relationship to this day. I also found out that day you could laugh a woman into bed, even into a 12 year tryst. So yeah. @rosepetalpistol

How much for a TJ?

IT IS "T.J." My name is T.J. I know that writing TJ is faster but that would be like misspelling someone's name Aron who is Aaron. Please. Put periods. That's how much.

How's the head?

Depends on the bread. If the head good, well then the bread good. Isn't it? Two. Chains.

Hello Mr. Miller… I wanted to thank you for bringing Singularity to my attention, I really enjoyed reading about it… My question is what does Conan O’Brien Smell like?

Conan smells like a man who can smell talent. Does that makes sense? It doesn't to me. A lot of smells don't. Like Lilac. What the fuck is up with that?

The Singularity is real and approaching, the sooner we (I) talk about that and the release of the death anxiety the sooner we can prepare for the future that is coming exponentially faster. I love you all. Thank you for letting me make you laugh before I die.

What's up with that golden mane of yours?

It gets me work.

Who would you rather hang out with, Yogi or Boo-Boo?

boo-boo

What was that first 'holy shit I think I finally made it' moment for you?

You never "make it." That is a mentality that guarantees you'll never be happy. If you are doing it in any capacity, especially for money no matter how much, you are making it, you have never "made it." Trust me. It's one of the many things I'm right about.

THANK YOU GUYS SIGNING OFF NOW.

[deleted]

cool

What are you doing at Bonnaroo, and why should I wait in that line to check you out? go!

I'm not going to be funny to you anyway if you have a cynical attitude. I like to do comedy for people who are open to looking the absurdity of everything right in the eye. You don't have the courage to do that obviously. BUSTED>

Hey TJ. I like you. I don't really have a question.

I really liked you calling Dane Cook out that night and defending your position afterwards. Showed integrity.

Good stuff man. Really enjoying Silicon Valley too

I believe what I say and say what I believe, but never both and never neither. Know what I mean.

Hey dude,

I thought Mash Up was a great concept. Stand up is always the highest quality segment of comedy central programs with a comedian host, and that show found a successful formula of incorporating it into the whole show. Used to get high and watch that shit all the time.

Anyway, how hot is Alice Eve in real life? Seriously, number 1 in my book.

She is very hard on those around her.

How does your love for philosophy pan or play into the rest of your work?

They're one in the same my friend. One in the same. (dips feet in a bucket of fish, reads about what Kant Can and Kant do)

Hey T.J., I'm loving Silicon Valley — I live in San Jose, and was wondering how much you guys actually shot in the Bay Area and if you had any favorite local places. And if you could make any app, what would it be and why?

We shot it almost entirely in Los Angeles. I didn't get to go to the Bay Area except for the premiere. Which was amazing. My favorite local Bay Area place is owned by Abby Monroe my friend, it's a brewery and empanada place. Check it out. App would Be: "What'sAppening?????" Which is where you find out if you are FREAKING out.

I know it is so personnal bcz it s abt ur health But i have to ask

How r u doing since ur brain surgery!? Ubknew the risks but u chose to do the operation, u must me very brave!

I say respect !

thank you for the propers. I am doing excellent. Life is rad man. I'm a lucky fellow but I do good when I can. I went to a mexican orphanage man. I didn't have to fucking do that but I did it. I believe in that shit. IT's real.

Who's your favorite up and coming comic that a majority of us have probably never heard of ? Love your work

Nick Vatterott. You must look up his fallon set immediately:

http://www.nickvatterott.com/portfolios/funny-video/

TJ, dude, I love your stand up. It straight up makes my day when one of your bits comes on the comedy central XM radio channel.

If you had to pick one, what would you say is your favorite joke you have written?

I have this "Paul Is The King" joke that I love but never works. However, I think the best piece of material I have ever written in my "women are afraid of my because I know so much about giraffes." It's funny on so many levels I can't count them, because i'm not as tall as a giraffe, the tallest land mammal.