IamA (angry Russian 32yo dwarf. Oh and a gamer.) AMA!

How come there is a convenient hole in your shorts right in between your legs?

http://i.imgur.com/8h3WtEc.jpg

OK before this gets out of hand that isn't a hole. Those shorts came without a fly, so one was haphazzardly sewn in. Because it wasn't a pro job the thing looks terrible and is constantly turning inside out.

Ehhh already out of hand!

Thats why a firm grip while pissing is key.

Nobody worry. I have a shitbucket. I am a certified colonel 100.

Do you have that bipod knife?

Yes! http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf4/soldier/-BH-Crawlerz246/stats/231307729/pc/

Haaaa.... no.

Why aren't you squatting in your proof picture?

Knee damage. Believe me if I could squat in a Adidas running suit I would 10/10

What is the nature of your disability? Run of the mill dwarfism, or something more?

Besides dwarfism I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was only 3 (this was in '86 in Russia) and it got worse progressively over the years to the point where I stopped walking and my joints got damaged a lot. It kinda snowballed and got out of control. It's not killing me directly but it sure is making my life terribly hard.

How does the arthritis effect your ability to play games?(if at all)

It actually does somewhat. I mean I can type and hold a mouse well enough but more physical things like racing (in particular heel-toe that I can't manage on my G27 setup) are mostly impossible cuz I can't twist my leg.

I have JRA as well, suuuuuucks. Been dealing with it since I was 19.

Ugh! I know. Can't move for shit. Stiff all day (and not where it counts either).

Have you ever tried smoking cannabis, and if so, did/does it help with some of the difficulties posed by JRA?

I have not but I've been told it helps. I have no friends or people I can trust enough to buy for me. Laws in this country are fucked.

Where you at homes? I know people.

Um... What kind of people?

[deleted]

PMd.

JRA sucks, I've had it as long as you have. I've had to have my knees and hips replaced or could not walk anymore. But damn dwarfism too? How do you deal cause let me tell you I have depression and I'm pretty sure my health adds to me feeling like shit like 80 percent of the time.

I have depression

Ditto on this front. I've already botched one suicide. Health issues I could maybe handle, but my parents, particularly my mother is an unbelievable peice of ever evolving shit who makes my life nearly unbearable.

On the plus side I have 2 great siblings and an awesome dog.

Can you leave your mom? Or are you financially stuck? I had a suicide attempt from chronic pain and obviously I backed off at the last minute.

Chronic pain is a fucking evil in itself. But toss in a parent who doesn't take it seriously or is not a good person, or only concerned with their own self? Recipe for torture unless you can gt out.

Now that you are in the US, is there any public/city-assistance for independent living available to you that would allow you to break away from your mom?

Or are you financially stuck?

Not really financially as I believe I fit assisted housing criteria and my SSI should help. More mentally and physically. If I can find a accessible apt that I can live in. I don't want to go to a facility. I'm already in one as it were. I saw creative-living.org but they only take locals.

How does Russian culture treat dwarves? Do you think you get less respect than you would in somewhere like America or the UK?

Also, my wife says you look more like an elf than a dwarf. (It was a compliment.)

Is your wife single?

Seriously, when I was little (OK I walked into that one.) MORE so than now I got lots of questions from passerby babushkas. "Why isn't he walking himself? He's big enough!" "Fuck you old hag."

Where can I buy one of you to stick on my mantle? Fuck Elf on the Shelf, I want a Russian for Discussion.

I want a Russian for Discussion.

Let's not Russian to this.

Ever thought about signing up for human/machine interface experiments? I have always been fascinated by this field but right now they only tend to accept people with extreme mobility issues like yours.

I haven't no. That'd be awesome.

Please do report back I would be super jealous I'd love to have something like that in my brain

Posted. Check my history.

do you buy childrens clothes or have clothes tailor made not trying to be insulting just always wondered?

I try to find children's clothes but that look serious enough that they aren't for 3yos.

how often do you slay puss?

Meet me behind the shed.......

As both a russian and a dwarf, could you rate your alcohol tolerance on a scale of 1-10 and then explain just how far over 9000 it really is?

I am actually working on upping my limit at the moment. If I start slurring this AMA I might've just reached the limit.

"I've been told on occasional, I'm funny. Mostly by myself."

Sold. Have my upvote & questions: what angers you the most (about gaming)? Any tips for improvements for developers who wanna make sure their game experience works out for you?

what angers you the most (about gaming)?

Nothing really. Community is terrible in some games though. COD and frankly BF too has its share of morons and bigots.

I play league of legends... Let me tell you about shitty communities.

Oy.... сука блять

Community is terrible in some games though.

No kidding... I remember you from the Battlelog forums. You got bullied before people realized it was a disease, and even after that some people were relentless. You were, and still are after three years, one of the few outstandingly positive people on the Offtopic section.

Really glad to see you on Reddit.

I remember you from the Battlelog forums.

Oh sweet! Fucking small world.

Hey man! So a few question: Why did you decide to travel to the US? What games do you play, and why?

I came here not of my own free will. My parents emigrated when I was 10.

Games? Well I try to have fun mostly with FPS game, some racing sims too, because as you can imagine life hasn't been all that fun for be being disabled and all and the cliche answer is it keeps me (sort of) sane. Also contact with other people, even on ts, is important as I don't get out much.

Do you rant to go back to russia?

At the moment I'm just trying to survive day to day. If I ever get stable in my health and living conditions, yes.

Considering how poorly people with disabilities are accommodated in Russia, do you not worry about your quality of life if you return there?

Yes accessibility (at least when I was there) was nonexistent. I was carted around in a shitty baby stroller. There was no ramps or whatever. I'm sure it's better now, especially in Moscow because it's after all Moscow. But where I lived? Probably not.

Would you say this is your daily life?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-3I315hcE

сука блять!

Are you angry because you're Russian, or because you're a gamer?

Yes.

Have you done anything to ease your daily life, perhaps with regards to difficulties you might face given your physique?

You know this is very hard, because I never left home due my disabilities but I want to very much. My own parents have really done nothing to improve or make easier my living conditions. They aren't caring people, so at the moment I am looking into accessible apartments.

Sorry to hear about your conditions mate. I'd reckon finding an apartment with ease of access is definitely a wise decision. It'd be great if you can reach out to others online who share the same plight as you do, I'm sure they'd be able to give you sound advices (from the perspective of someone who faces similar difficulties) to help improve your life! Stay positive!

Stay positive!

Ugh! Living with people who hate you is a downer. So far I haven't found anything, except some special apt in Ohio but regrettably they only accept locals.

We need to start a new rich-folks trend. the House Dwarf as a status symbol.

Kardashians everywhere will be clamoring to hire the "best" ones, you'd be set for life.

I do have a nice ass. I'm halfway there.

What is your all time favorite game and why is it Clue?

Is no secret Col Mustard was under glorious communist mind control when he was in the library. But is no with candlestick.

Would your life be better/worse had your family stayed in Russia? And have you ever been back to Russia?

I don't want to sound unpatriotic but due to my health issues and lack of good medicine in most parts of Russia I'd probably be dead by now if I stayed.

What do you do for a living?

Nothing because there isn't a lot I can do. I do a little crowtasking through mturk when I'm up to it though.

What kind of things do you task the crows with?

Bringing me back my self worth.

Hey man, nice to see you out "in the wild" ... it's been too long!! :)

Oh hey! Shit this internet is a small world.

Good to see you alive and kicking. :) I've been having a shit time of things lately. (I literally had shit back up into my stomach this week, so that's been "fun".) Hoping your week is going even marginally better than that. Hit me up sometime with an update on you!

Hit me up sometime with an update on you!

A lot of nothing and shame. How about you? How have you been? We haven't messaged in months.

Do you have a girlfriend?

I have two. Because I'm ambidextrous.

Do you stream on twitch?

I should. People asked that before. But bandwidth and lagging it killing it. I tried yotube streaming once.

Well hopefully you'll be able to because I know I'd follow.

Follow my youtubes for now, comrade. More glorious content to arrive shortly.

You say you've been bullied, what's the worst thing you have ever been called on the internet?

"You sound like a Taiwanese tranny." -- youtube comment.

... What the fuck does a Taiwanese transvestite sound like?!

Apparently this twat knows? Honestly it's like a XBOX chat man.

Do you have a small kettle, plates and cups? :)

Nope. Though come to think of it, that's a great idea.

I was referring to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OJiB2BGaoc .

Oh ha. Yes yes. Go on.

Hi, thanks for the AMA!

What's your cold resistance, axe mastery level and str?
And why should I choose to play as a Siberian Dwarf instead of another race?

Slightly under 9000. But only due to alcohol not being maxed out. Yet.

Your voice is great and listening to your commentary was enjoyable.

PS: Could you be more angry?

PS: Could you be more angry?

Only if I was Chandler Bing.

You kind of resemble Liam McPoyle from Always Sunny. Has anyone ever told you that or have you noticed the resemblance?

I don't have any friends so no one ever said that, no. ^{lonelinessintensifies}

A friend's daughter has systemic JIA. Are you taking any meds for yours? If so, has anything been particularly effective?

Shit um... Right now it's been going to shit the last couple of years, mainly due to depression interfering. But biologics helped me a ton when they appeared. Enbrel made a massive difference.

In respect to your disability and arthritis and such do you see yourself playing games for years to come or is it something you may have to give up?

Hopefully I won't have to give it up no.

Due to your disability, is your ability to play games affected? How do you counter any limitations you have?

Yes, some physicality is a bitch. Like I love sim racing but even with my steering wheel it's hard to work the pedals quick enough. I can't heel toe at all. Just too much ankle damage.

What about in FPS's?

Gaming? The usualy I guess, BF4 and so on. R6 Siege, Titanfall.... I've even been known to play shudder COD.

Have you looked into street fighter? We have brolylegs in the community and has some huge disabilities and is still able to whoop 99% of the community's asses

I have not. Explain.

He has a couple macros set up for the buttons he can't reach he basically plays with his face. Which are tournament legal

I think the reason he is so successful is because street fighter is more deliberate in button presses and not so much twitch reflexes like most shooters. He can't pull of the crazy combos but he makes up for it in space control and setting the tone of the matchup

Here is a short little bio on him kind of inspirational since I'm ass at street fighter

http://youtu.be/s1MYSgy4QMw

Too fucking right!

Have you ever been denied buying alcohol or tobacco even when showing ID?

Don't buy tobaccy and honestly if someone wants to go there, I have a state ID.

What's your opinion on the current trend of mean-spirited internet humor that's usually at the expense of people like disabled people? (i.e.: /r/imgoingtohellforthis)

I'm a subsriber to that subreddit. I'm all for a good jab now and then, even at my own expense. When it's all in good humor and no one gets hurt, why the fuck not? You know where I'd be if I didn't laugh at myself? Dead.

Is it you who hacked my origin account and changed everything to Russian?

Pfffft. Nice try, EA.

Do you think of yourself as an American or do you stick more with your roots? Who do you think is the best candidate to ease up tensions between US and Russia?

I'm more Americanized now, I lived here 21 years. Relations? Dude they're OK. Media is bullshitting everyone. On the phone Obama and Putin are chummy and probably joke about invading Germany every once in a while.

What are your plans for the future?

Get the fuck out of this mental prison I call a home. Find an apt where I can live in peace like a semi-normal human being.

How much vodka can you drink?

Less when on meds. Fucker apparently interferes.

What's your opinion on Putin's aggressive actions toward Ukraine in Crimea and the east? Should President Obama ask Putin to say he's sorry?

Should he ask him to say he's sorry? What is this the 3rd grade?

I wasn't for his bullshittery in Crimea but I generally like Putin. He's like a communist version of a Bond villain.

Have you seen "The Man From U.N.C.L.E."? Did you like it?

It was pretty cool. Though i enjoyed Snatch quite a bit more.

When you have the option to do so, do you choose to be the "Russian" faction in games? If so, does this extend to being the USSR for the board game 'Axis and Allies'?

Red grapes, or green grapes?

I could never fly the German BF-109 in Il-2 Forgotten Battles.

Blue grapes FTW.

What's some of your favorite FPS games? And do you prefer console or PC as a platform?

I am PC master race. http://i.imgur.com/UMqWY6A.jpg But I do have an N64.

favorite cereal?

Blood ^ofmyenemies pudding

Have you ever tried sailing? There's a lot of cool technologies that make it possible for people with (severe) physical disabilities to go out on the water. It's a good way to find a community as well!

My granddaddy had a motorboat way back when in Russia I used to love to drive it. Now that I think back on it, there was no talk of any vests or water safety and none of us could swim. Ugh!

I'd love to shoot at targets though. Not sure how with my hands, but I'd love to fire a pistol.

I thought this was /r/roastme so here I was feeling awful trying to come up with ways to insult you and thought you had massive balls.

So that's my question, would you consider going on /r/roastme? :D (It's all in good spirits)

So that's my question, would you consider going on /r/roastme? :D (It's all in good spirits)

Fuck yes!

have you ever looked into stem cell injections for your joints?

I have not looked into anything at this point. I've been isolated from society for most of my life, thank you mommy dearest, you piece of shit. I haven't even talked to friends online until a few years back.

do you need a smaller toilet seat for when you take your poops?

Yes. Unless is too large of poopings.

You play Spintires? That's the shiznit for Russian 4x4 truck action.

Not yet. I'm looking into Escape from Tarkov though, even watching their dev dairies. Looks really well made.

Which community sites do you visit besides reddit? 4chan? Are people welcoming to you on those other sites once they learn (assuming they do) of your disability?

Besides reddit, some forums but they don't really know a lot about me. My youtube subscribers know though, I've shown myself plenty of times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Z8llexvjw&ab_channel=Crawlerz-RussianTactical

Will you post your favorite pepe?

I can smell the boards on you.

You'd be wrong. Not into pepes one single bit.

Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle?

In Soviet Russia, Putin catch all of you.

What is your steam name?

Tried linking my profile directly can NEVER remember my pw. It's Crawlerz246 with an angry Russian smiley avatar in an Ushanka hat.

Privet! Ti iz kakovo goroda izhodna? Ya videl shto ti hotches obratno v Rassiyu... Pochemy? Naxera tebe tam delat, v amerike 1000x luchsya! Ладно, желаю успехи по YouTube!

Я из Уфы. Нет в Россию не собираюсь, может только посмотреть и назад. Москву жалко совсем не видел пока был там.

What is your favorite breakfast?

Probably an eggo wallfle and some bacon. I could never be muslim. I fucking love bacon. (I'm a bad Jew).

Do you have a favorite thing to do/say when you catch people staring at you? I'd be like this

No but I have a quick wit and usually answer how people say.

[deleted]

Everything's more anatomically correct than Trump's.

You are an AMA?

No I am Communist bear.

Communist Bear like this- https://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll4/badgerspoon/-Avatars/CommunistBear.png

or this? http://www.terrariaonline.com/attachments/francois-gif.103657/

http://in-cyprus.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/3a62f881cde0f1dfa706d934b40c12e4.jpeg