IAMA sex toy reviewer and online sex store employee. Everyone I work with knows way too much about my dick and sex life. AMA.

Do you get a lot of accidental web traffic for people looking for condos since your website is condo mania.com?

Not a word of a lie:

I'm more of a marketing student than anything, and my girlfriend's dad sent my resume to some friends.

I got an email from my (now) boss asking if I would be interested in doing condomania.com

"Sure" I thought, "I can learn about condos"

I was very fucking stoked to learn I wouldn't be writing about Real Estate :)

Your girlfriend's dad sent your resume to a sex toy company?

"The more he fucks those fleshlights, the less he'll fuck my daughter."

Guess this guy doesn't want rusty_reviews_sex as the father to his grandchildren.

hahahahahaaa

He knew she owned "some businesses"... Sent it to a networking group

I should say that I don't mean to come across as whoring out our company, but there isn't much else I can do to provide proof.

OP surely must deliver.

You could show us a huge collection of sex toys.

Will upload from home

I bought a vibrator once, and it was shipped to me in a bubble envelope. WTF?

Oh man. Like... not in a box...??!!

Yes, not in a box. You could tell exactly what it was.

Did you... sanitize... it?

That's the equivalent of when you buy shrimp out of the trunk of an '84 Cutlass 500 miles from the ocean.

whoa... true story: Just a few hours ago a guy came to my house selling seafood out of his van. I live in St. Louis...

How many pounds did you buy? Under ten and you lose.

i like you

I love you.

Can we kiss yet?

Haven't we? At that thing at Dan's house?

Yes, I hope so.

I might recommend sanitizing any sex toy... right?

edit: It was properly sealed and in a plastic package within the bubble envelope. I'm more asking why a company would be so negligent enough to not recognize it's an intimate thing.

Fair!

How do you review them? Like test em on yourself?

Yes. Everything reviewed (and more) has actually been tested in the bedroom/living room/bathroom by me. Usually pretty extensively.

What all do you test? Like... You're a guy... Soooo I'm not sure if there are limited things you test? Did things just get weird with that question?

My girlfriend is a willing participant if I need to test things. No vibrators (yet), but she's be cool with me doing everything except publishing her name... she rules :)

That being said I'm sure vibrators are on the way with the site redesign.

So if you break up are you out of a job?

Just sayin'

Naw, I'll just keep reviewing solo stuff. Lube is underused by single dudes.

How many toys have you put in your butt?

At this job: zero

At life: two, and each time I vow not to ever again (no disrespect to anyone who does)

Is that like "I'm never drinking again"?

Haha exactly :)

two...so y did you break your vow the first time?

I got re-curious like a re-cat

You must have felt a little re-tarded after the second time.

Sized down.

But yes.

What is your favorite product you have tested?

Gun Oil :)

Best lube out there. I manage a brick and mortar store and have a close relationship with the Gun Oil (Empowered Products) sales rep. Great guy, great company.

Edit: spelling.

close relationship

Care to elaborate?

they like to cuddle and watch mlp together on weekends

Love it.

I want a building made of books!

Minecraft

Do you get special deals? Do you pass those savings on to loving friends....me?

My deal is that I walk into the warehouse and take shit as 'marketing costs', which they truly are.

I always say the same thing to people who ask for free stuff, usually women: "if you aren't going to use it with me, I don't really benefit"

That being said if you run some sort of sex charity or fraternity, or run an influential blog... maybe!

I run a sex charity called Toys for Twats.

Link

here you go

thanks, semen-thrower

Sex charity lol

Actually, the College Democrats group I used to be in gets condoms donated from Trojan or Planned Parenthood or other sexual health clinics around town each year & gives them away around campus on Valentine's Day. They attach facts about STIs to the condoms (no staplers are allowed near the give-aways!). They go through around 2,000 every Val's Day.

Note: It's REALLY strange how many people will REFUSE a free condom.

Free condoms = awesome. Some weirdo who pokes holes in condoms and gives them away = not awesome. Why take the chance? Just buy some.

You SHOULD own some, but I mean... if you are GOING to do it anyways, grab the free one and check for marks and holes.

Do prostitutes ever do work pro-boner?

If I've met a prostitute she hasn't told me :(

Does your family know what you do? If so, how do they feel about it.

Friends know?

Great question!

My mom knows WHAT I do, but I refuse to let her read my reviews, so she doesn't know WHERE.

My name is actually a reference to Rusty Shackleford (KOTH), but I quickly realized it was also her husband's name and she wasn't impressed.

My GF knows, obviously.

In general everyone around me is cool. Some of my friends RSS the blog and text me after they read new submissions.

In that case, I need you to sign some paperwork so that I can get on with my life.

Hahahaha

Rusty Shackleford is the name I use to order pizzas, as well as the name I use anywhere on the internet where I expect SPAM. Well done on KOTH refrence.

:)

What do people know about your dick that you would rather they not know?

I stopped caring. I think that most people know the size (we sell custom fit condoms that you size with a printable chart) so my boss knows the EXACT specs of The Pentagon. It made me uncomfortable at first, but now we just talk so openly about sex. I think they also know I'm circumsized?

"So last night (girlfriend) and I we getting really rough and I think I accidentally choked her too hard"

"Hmmmm... safety word?"

Personally I found it pretty amusing that the custom fit "sizing chart" goes to great lengths (no pun intended) to avoid embarrassing the user by not using real standardized measurements in cm or inches but also by making their own measurements non sequential. "A" being the smallest girth then D, W, E, M, J, S and the smallest length being 61, the largest 59 and 36 being in the middle.

I've never seen so much effort to make a chart so unintuitive.

It's a really good system. It keeps ambarassment " " down ever though there's nothing to be unhappy about. It's more value than effort to sort.

our safety word is (MORE) never seems to work

Haha ...

"celery"

:(

this is my favorite part of this entire AMA

Literally lol

Since everyone is thinking it, what are the specs of The Pentagon?

Coripa Custom Fit 36N. Do some googling or go on our site to the fit guide :)

That was really intimidating before I sized the PDF down to 100%.

Hahahaha hahahahaha

36 Newtons? The force is strong in this one...

I train in 40 times normal gravity.

[deleted]

That technically makes me just under average. Darn!

You said something about having to test vibrators soon, would you do that? Or would you have your girlfriend test it and see how it works? Also, do you have any toys where you would not try it, such as anal beads?

Good questions!

I will try anything on her, and (sadly) I don't think anything large is going in my ass.

Vibrators: I'll use them on her/play around and she can tell me her thoughts. I'm a good writer and she's not.

Anal beads I would use on her, for sure, but like I said, not me. I can't really think of anything I WON'T try on her.

And she is cool with you putting things up her butt?

She seems to be so far, as long as it doesn't hurt

What's the worst review you have given?

They will be forthcoming.

I used one pocket pussy and it gets stuck between my balls and the head of my penis. It's so tight that it's like a lube-y chinese finger trap.

I will only be moderately kind to such a device.

Have sex with a finger trap. My god it's so simple. Brilliant.

Only 5 tickets each too.

Literally lolling. Fuck.

•As a woman I automatically think of what's out there for us. Is there as much diversity in products for men? •My favorite brand is Lelo, but man their stuff is pricy. What would a lower priced alternative be?

Men have a small amount of diversity. A lot of pocket pussies and vibrating rings. We benefit a lot from lube (go Gun Oil) and sometimes anal beads.

My boss (woman) replied to my text about the Lelo alternative and said to try Wabbit stuff.

http://www.condomania.com/amethyst-wabbit-erotic-vibrator.html

I'm not sure how I feel about the name "wabbit" being associated in sexual activity... it's like elmer fudd is trying to fuck you in both holes

Hahaha right?!?! And now I've made that association forever.

Cannot unsee.

Hey-yo for Gun Oil. 9/10, would jerk with again.

Giant bottles man. Like a litre of gun oil lasts so long.

This is weird, since I recently took a short trip to Tokyo and found this store.

http://imgur.com/YHVNL

Not a question, I just thought you'd find it interesting. Also, it is a condom shop, not a condo shop. ;)

We are the original. We see a bit of it. Good find!

What are the best products you've come across?

There are some insane novelty items we have. Penis lollipops, condom hats, dick glasses. That stuff cracks is up like we are ten.

I once ate a penis lollipop. NO REGRETS!

Bravo. Me too. But I hate the flavor of the one I had.

Actually taste like penis?

I wish ?

How would you review female toys if you and your girlfriend broke up?

I would have to ask someone else to! Like I said, I don't do any now, but there are plans for that in the future...

Are they hiring? I can review vibrators!

Are you Batman?

How much do you make a year?

What do you look for when reviewing a product?

What is your average day?

It's enough to get by comfortably. I'll ballpark at 30-50k.

Typical day is a lot of writing and responding to occasional social stuff. I do a bit more but it's not as fun to write about.

I know you've already stated that you haven't worked with vibrators yet, but have you heard of the new ones that vibrate to the intensity of the music you're listening too? If so, have you heard good things about them?

Also, not in a number sense, but in a general sense, do a lot of Americans use sex toys, whether it be male or female? I still feel as if it is taboo in the U.S. to masturbate, ESPECIALLY with a sex toy.

I think that that taboo nature helps keep places like us in business. If you call, someone will talk comfortably and openly about vibrators all day long. Maybe me.

I think it's more common than we think, but sadly too taboo.

What's your family life like? Do they know what you do? What's their opinion/reaction?

I live in a different city. My family rules. I could show up for Christmas with a tranny and they'd be chill.

I don't want my parents READING my reviews, so they don't know which site I work for.

The only people who don't know the details of what I do are people I don't like and my GF's family (very conservative at times)

Didn't you say your gf's dad got you the job?

He didn't know EXACTLY the details

Christmas with a tranny

Ha I wish I could say the same. I was having breakfast with my dad and my transgender coworker came in, I spoke to her for a few min...and I could see the look of horror/confusion growing on my dad's face. The second she was out of ear shot my dad put his hand on my shoulder and said "son, I know you are desperate, but she isn't even passable."

If you mom knew what site you worked for, would she actually read the reviews? It seems like it would be even more awkward for her.

I thinks it's like not looking at a car crash.

This is what I use as a business card.

Has this ever got you laid, or any funny stories associated with this? Personally, if a client handed me a condom as a card, more than a few questions would be raised.

Haven't yet given it out for real. Soon. Will report.

What are some of your favorite items?

How would you describe fleshlight type items?

What is a Rub my ducky?

edit* ducky

Gun Oil and the dream sleeve.

Read my dream sleeve (pocket pussy) review :)

Rub my ducky is a vibrating rubber duck you can leave in plain sight :)

Good gift

What's your favorite color?

Rainbow