CleverWit

Kevin, I feel that sometimes my electric bill gets to be a little too high in the winter. What are some ways I could conserve the heat in my home so as to not have the heat on so often?

Paul, I've got this box of condoms that have been sitting in the back seat of my car for a few weeks now, and it's getting pretty hot out in Jersey. You think those rubbers are still good, or guaranteed to break and put me out another $50 for Plan-B?

What the fuck are those fake ass eggs?

I love you.

Edit: But I have a Golden Retriever. They're much softer.

I met you at the Stress Factory last year, best standup show I've ever seen. But Jim Jefferies was a very close second. What stand ups would you go out of your way to see these days, if any?