Heyy_Brother

Hey Tommy, whose doggie was that in the flower shop scene?

Also, would you ever consider pairing up with the good people over at the iRobot Corporation to make the first ever "Tommy Wiseau's 'The Roomba'"?

I’ve been waiting wayyyy too long for this AMA FUCK YEAH.

Two summers ago, I was sitting on a couch in Charleston, Ill watching the premiere of “Animal Furnace,” when you started talking about a shitty article from the Daily Eastern News circa 2006. As an Eastern Illinois University student, I won’t lie—I laughed my ass off. Coincidentally, my tenure at the paper started the following day. As the interim editorial writer for that very publication, I knew your public bashing probably wasn’t something to laugh about.

What I DIDN’T imagine was the 5 days of swift ass-ramming that would promptly ensue because of your comments. I’m talking 5 days of 15+ emails a day, all using your bit as a jumping-off point to lob accusations of racism, sexism, amateurism, discrimination, etc. at not only the paper, but the person who had to handle each complaint (which was, often, me). People called every hour with complaints ranging anywhere from “the DEN could use a little more copy editing” to “I got duh paper n it was all smudged cause uh duh rain. ‘the fuck is up with that?!”

Shit. Got. Serious.

So, Hannibal, I just wanted to thank you for making my first week in journalism a living nightmare. I still can’t sleep some nights. However, you DID retweet a link to my response, which was pretty tight.

You can make this up to me in apple juice, Absolut vodka or a new Masturbation Hoodie. I’ll PM you my address.

"Tommy Wisseau presents... 'The Closet'"

haha it's all good man, it's hilarious to think back on now. Thanks for the laughs.

EDIT: Also, thanks for bringing diversity to our campus. We were desperate.

Hey John, huge, huge fan.

On your first album, you had a couple of songs that more or less justified cheating (off the top of my head, "She Don't Have to Know" and "Number One"). Have those songs ever come back to bite you in the ass?? And how do you reconcile those tracks with the rest of your discography, which often focuses on romance or altruism?