LateKnight

Women LOVE horses. I don't know what it is. They see you on a horse, and it doesn't matter what else you have going on. You're in. At the bar upstairs (the KNIGHT CLUB), after the show, it's open season.

I MIGHT have banged a princess or two.

There WERE utensils in medieval times. There aren't utensils AT Medieval Times because a kitchen staff doesn't want to have to wash 1300 place settings every show.

There is Pepsi because it is DELICIOUS.

I don't want to shatter any dreams, but it's all completely scripted. Someone once wrote a complaint saying that the jousting wasn't authentic enough. That we used breakaway lance tips and INTENTIONALLY fell off the horses.

If we actually tried to joust each other off, if we actually tried to beat each other, we would DIE. DIE UNTIL WE WERE DEAD.

I don't want to say I took ADVANTAGE, but it definitely improved my average.

I hate to say it, but the princesses were the most shocking part. Theater girls, plus the whole workplace romance thing, plus the knight factor, and that leaves you with about ONE princess during my time there that didn't sleep with at least a couple of the knights.

This, for me, culminated after one of the holiday parties at the castle. I had been... "seeing"... one of them for a while, and she invited me over to her place. A few other knights and princesses were there. One of the princesses was her friend, and the three of us started to gradually move away from the party. Eventually everyone left, the three of us were in her room, and nature took its course.

I would say, in that instance, I was the one being taken advantage of. Vigorously.

I never get past the "burying the battleaxe in their desk" stage of the interview. You'd think more employers would respond to that kind of zeal.