Molozonide

Yeah, but it's a pain in the ass to do that, especially if you work with a lot of csv files.

So, talk to me about that (for real).

Alright, for real then.

This comment turned out a lot longer than I expected, and I could easily go on, but thanks for giving me an outlet to share.

Why is your career so much more important to you than most of your peers?

I really do love to learn and have found very few peers who share that passion; given a choice between frolicking about town and reading from an enzyme kinetics textbooks, I would (and usually do) choose the latter. I can't say this in an essay without sounding arrogant.

It is also my belief that I would be happier overall if I could focus on learning without the distraction of relationships, and then later focus on relationships/family from a more secure financial position. Ultimately I would like to have both a fulfilling career and a happy marital life, but I don't care to mention this often because spending young adulthood abstaining from relationships and drunken escapades is seen as weird -- not just among peers, but to pretty much everyone I have met from all stages of life.

And why medicine?

Many reasons. Some less noble than others. I should clarify that I want to be a researcher first and foremost and a clinician second. This is why I've been applying for MD/PhD programs instead of MD programs.

My reasons for wanting to be a researcher are fairly straightforward. I crave a detailed understanding of how things work and the answer "no one knows yet" isn't good enough for me. I've been doing small-scale science projects since I was in middle school (serious business, actually) and I think scientific investigation is an effective way of figuring out how things work.

I am specifically interested in chemical biology for two major reasons: (1) I think a truly detailed understanding of how living systems function comes from studying its underlying chemical interactions (though I would never say that to a biologist's face), and (2) because understanding biology can lead to discoveries that directly improve the health and happiness of potentially many many people. This is actually where my desire to study medicine comes from. As cliche as it is, I want to study medicine because I want to help people... just like every other doctor since the beginning of time. (Normally I'd work this in with a sob story about patient interaction, which did have an impact on me at the time, but feels really cheap to write about again and again).

I have selfish reasons for wanting to be a doctor, too. I've found I don't handle tedious jobs very well. Showing up to work every day to do the same thing every day is boring. This is not the case in research (though the daily grind can get tedious) and certainly not the case in medicine. I want to be a doctor because it's exciting!

I also can't resist the allure of a stable career, which, as I've mentioned, is quite important to me in the future. Even if today's doctors get shit pay (compared to the old days), the demand for them will never go away. Similarly, even as funding for research dwindles, the need to improve healthcare remains. There are new drugs and treaments to be made, and there is profit in their discovery. Even if the NIH were to close down permanently tomorrow (which would be a disaster for biology research worldwide), there would still be places for clinical researchers to go. I can't talk about any of this in a medical school application because even hinting at wanting money makes me a sociopath.

Applying for an MD-PhD is a real catch-22. The MDs want to convince me to get a PhD only and the PhDs want me to get an MD only, and the definition of what an MD-PhD should want varies from person to person. I personally don't think I'd be satisfied with one or the other -- I have to have both. There's a broad understanding of living systems that comes with studying medicine, as well as a certain patient connection that just isn't there with doctoral research, even in clinical labs. At the same time, I think detailed study in some basic science topic is important for one's development as a scientist; even if it is possible to do research as an MD, that kind of depth comes from doctoral research.

I'm currently a chemical biology PhD student and I'm thinking of applying for the MD-PhD at my current university. If the past two years are any indication, this is an exercise in futility, but not applying just feels like giving up on my dreams. Wish me luck, I guess.

cakewalk

I commend you on your word choice.

What if my career (and by extension, my admission to the program) is what matters to me? For example, if I were to apply for medical school, how could I possibly express my genuine interest in studying and practicing medicine without writing an essay that is effectively identical to at least a hundred others?

I say this with complete honesty: in this period of my life, my career goals are what matter most to me. Does that make me a boring and one-dimensional candidate, and thus unworthy of admission?

I wish I could use that for an essay, but the parts that are unique to me are either irrelevant or flatly insulting to those who might read it. I'm not trying to be contrarian here -- I really would appreciate advice on how I could make it work.

• Can't talk about life goals; too irrelevant and weird.

• Can't say I like studying more than my peers; too arrogant.

• "I want to help people." Too overused and mundane.

• Job stability, money, etc. Too selfish and materialistic.

• Want a PhD: insulting to MDs.

• Want an MD: insulting to PhDs.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it.