I don't feel your pain, but I'm pretty sure an ex boyfriend of mine did. We were so innocent, so good that evening. We watched tv, ate a lot of junk and then I was being childish so he gave me a piggy back to my room. He went to the spare room (my parents house) but at 4am practically crawled into my room gasping with pain.
I shit you not, our first response was to google what was wrong. Something about the words torsion and emergency gave us the impression we should get him to the hospital.
But I didn't have a license, and he couldn't drive in that agonized, "please-make-it-stop" state.
I had to go out to my dads office and explain, while he was still working at 4am for a looming deadline, that he had to "drive us to the hospital please because Dude thinks he has twisted his, er, testicle."
Dad's face: 0_0 followed by ><
No questions asked. Good Dad.
The hospital staff were tools, trying to ask Dude questions (social security number, dob - stuff I could have told them) while he was standing there gasping from pain. My dad began to tear them a new one and they admitted Dude. It really is a male thing to protect the collective junk.
It was in fact Testicular Torsion which required emergency surgery or could have meant the loss of one or both testicles. A pain quoted by the FEMALE doctor to be the "male equivalent of childbirth."
First thing Dude said on the morphine drip was "man I'm hungry." Atta boy.
tl;dr ZERO hanky-panky lead my poor ex to get a twisted testicle. Luckily for me, it was in no way the reason we broke up ages later. Luckily for him, everything remained in working order after emergency surgery.
Siofsi14 karma
I don't feel your pain, but I'm pretty sure an ex boyfriend of mine did. We were so innocent, so good that evening. We watched tv, ate a lot of junk and then I was being childish so he gave me a piggy back to my room. He went to the spare room (my parents house) but at 4am practically crawled into my room gasping with pain.
I shit you not, our first response was to google what was wrong. Something about the words torsion and emergency gave us the impression we should get him to the hospital.
But I didn't have a license, and he couldn't drive in that agonized, "please-make-it-stop" state.
I had to go out to my dads office and explain, while he was still working at 4am for a looming deadline, that he had to "drive us to the hospital please because Dude thinks he has twisted his, er, testicle."
Dad's face: 0_0 followed by >< No questions asked. Good Dad.
The hospital staff were tools, trying to ask Dude questions (social security number, dob - stuff I could have told them) while he was standing there gasping from pain. My dad began to tear them a new one and they admitted Dude. It really is a male thing to protect the collective junk.
It was in fact Testicular Torsion which required emergency surgery or could have meant the loss of one or both testicles. A pain quoted by the FEMALE doctor to be the "male equivalent of childbirth."
First thing Dude said on the morphine drip was "man I'm hungry." Atta boy.
tl;dr ZERO hanky-panky lead my poor ex to get a twisted testicle. Luckily for me, it was in no way the reason we broke up ages later. Luckily for him, everything remained in working order after emergency surgery.
View HistoryShare Link