Can you confirm or deny that you hacked the Gibson and copied their trash file to a floppy disc?

Security researchers with your longevity and experience are sometimes thrust into weird and unique situations. Can you describe the most bizarre task you have ever tackled or most unsavory discovery you have made without requiring mandatory /r/Eyebleach?

Are you, or are you not, impregnated by an adolescent Kraken while trying to escape the long arm of the Orkland law after escaping the prison in Gronk?

Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?

Underappreciated comment of the AMA right here.