sweetmercy

This should be required viewing for every jerk out there who says "why didn't you report it?"

Trouble is, many abusers will ignore a TRO, and when they do, law enforcement frequently does not follow through. There is case after case of women who died with restraining orders on the books, exactly how they said they would be killed.

March took glee in being a psycho though. Tate was less...aware of it.

If we're going to talk about domestic violence we need to be including the psychological, emotional, and financial abuse that nearly always accompanies it. So often, there's immediate victim blaming- "why didn't you leave?" Well the simple and just profile reply to that is the simple statistic that 75% of women who are killed by their partner are killed while leaving or after leaving. But there's also the fact that in nearly all cases of prolonged domestic violence, the abuser has total financial control, as well. And the fact that by the time the physical abuse is a regular occurrence, there's been a period of "grooming". During this period, abuse victims and future abuse victims are drawn away from family and friends, and other forms of support. Some abusers go so far as to ensure they're the only ones working because they want to minimize people who can "interfere". They spend a lot of time breaking down their victim's ability to see the situation for what it is. Convincing them that they are the problem. That they bring it on themselves. Sadly, they're a lot in our society that reinforces that concept as well.

There needs to be so much revision of current laws. Even in the small percentage of cases that are prosecuted, most of the time the consequences are little more than a slap on the wrist... If there's even that much of a consequence at all. I'll give you an example. An abuser was not happy his wife left. She agreed to meet him on Halloween and they could take their two year old trick or treating. Instead, he kidnapped her and took her across country to California, beating her the whole way. He had his cousin driving while he beat her with his fists, then (after he fractured his hand) a Mag light flashlight. Anyone who's ever had that particular flashlight can, I'm sure, imagine the damage that could do. When he wasn't beating her, he was smothering and choking her. He was, apparently, convinced she was cheating on him. She wasn't, but that didn't matter. The local authorities told her if he was charged there (North Carolina), it would be misdemeanor assault/domestic violence on a woman, maximum 150 day sentence. Never mind that she'd left him eight months before. Never kind that he'd kidnapped her and dragged her across country. Never mind that she was bruised, literally, from head to foot. Never mind that she'd had three seizures from him smothering/choking her. She survived, therefore it was misdemeanor. Thankfully, with the help of a victims' advocate, they were able to make a case for it to be charged on a federal level, but if he'd have started in North Carolina and done it all there? Misdemeanor. 150 days MAX. The fact is, on a state level, you have to be crippled or killed before any real consequences are doled out in most cases.

The psychological abuse? The financial abuse? The emotional abuse? Those things are largely ignored. Instead, we have a system that requires laying physical damage to be done before they will even consider giving real consequences. In terms of domestic violence, we are ridiculously behind where we need to be too make an actual difference.

I adore you in Roger Rabbit, Where the Heart Is, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead and from that point on I looked forward to seeing you in other roles. What was your favorite? One that you'd have liked to explore more?