tubernonster

Dear Allie Brosh,

I am a HUGE fan. I am sure you hear that like all the time, and I won't claim to be your biggest fan, because that gives off a psycho stalker vibe, and I'm not that, even though right now, I bet it seems a little creepy that my username references you. Probably should have created a throwaway, huh?

I have two H&aH t-shirts: The Alot and Clean All the Things!/Clean all the things? When I wear them in public, I make friends with anyone who gets them. My fiance pre-ordered your book for me as a surprise one day because he knew it would make me happy. It did.

I'm babbling! Questions: 1) You have almost a cult like following. Have you ever considered using your powers for evil?

2) Are you accepting applications for an online BFF?

3) [serious] Do lots of people just randomly ask you about your depression after your two poignant posts about the topic?

4) In your long absences where the internet worries and frets about you, do you still check sites like reddit under a secret, incognito identity? (You don't have to tell us what it is, obviously.)

5) I'm a reasonably good cook and an out-of-this-world dessert maker. If, for some obviously horrible reason, you were stuck in South Dakota, what could I make you that would make you happy? (besides corn.)

6) On a scale from the most painful level on your pain scale to riding a pterodactyl into battle, where would you rate your book?

1) I'd do it, but only for you, Matthew Inman, and Stephen Colbert.

2) Attributes: Former opera singer, so I have some pipes. And that comes in handy for things like needing a singer. I'm working on developing the superpower of breaking glass with my voice. I work with children, so I have endless funny stories and quotes, because, you know, kids say funny shit. I wear hair bows all the time that I make myself, which people think is pretty cool. And... erm... I write erotica. Not sure which category that falls in for you. Shortcomings: I care too much. :P Just kidding. I watch stupid TV shows, I blast opera on my radio to get back at my annoying neighbors, I'm a bit of a craft supply hoarder.

6) Excellent. I hope to rate it similarly on Amazon.

My questions are based on my experiences, so forgive me if I am longwinded.

I grew up Methodist. I was kicked out of Sunday School because I was being bullied by the Sunday School teacher's son, and I told him to "go to hell" the millionth time he told me I was going to die alone with nothing but pie and cake to comfort me. (I was a chubby kid.) We pretty much stopped going to church altogether when I was kicked out of Sunday School. The question that goes with this is this: How much bullying do you think happens in the congregational setting? (between adults, kids, anyone really) and do you take steps to address it?

Belief background in a nutshell: I believe in a sentient creator-being (God) but I don't subscribe to any of the major religions because I believe they are mostly propaganda tools. I kinda have a sneaking suspicion that all religions are talking about the same being, but we see that being through different cultural lenses, but I have no way of knowing, hence being an Agnostic Theist. I don't really believe in the Bible because it has been twisted to suit political purposes throughout history. My question, honestly asked with the utmost sincerity and respect, is this: What is it that you believe makes Christianity the "right" religion? If you met me in real life, knowing my religious background, what would you say, if anything, to try to convince me that Christianity is the place to be?

Last question: In what ways, if any, do you believe Christianity needs to edit itself to keep up with the times and/or reach the younger generation?

I really respect those responses. I guess I have a follow-up question. You mentioned that, indeed, the Bible has been a political tool, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. Your subsequent explanation, I think, is really very reasonable. I guess my follow-up question is this: If you (as in, the undirected plural, not you specifically) know that your Holy Book has been altered, how much stock do you place in it? How do you decide the place it has in your life as a thinking Christian, which you clearly are? How do you know which parts and teachings to let inform your life? And how does one know they personally aren't using it as a tool to suit their own agendas like so many do?