IAmA Google Glass Explorer Who Is Thinking of Chronicling His Masturbatory Habits. My name is Fat Kev Smith - AMA, mf's!

I was hiking up Outpost with my GF and saw you tending to your turtles on your balcony. You saw me looking and asked how it was going...I said "Great, you?" and you said "Gooooood". You were still in your robe and possibly stoned?

Any recollection?

That happens quite a bit, actually. But if you were one of 'em, then yeah - that was totally me. And yes - I was totally baked.

I like turtles...

Mallrats helped me lose my virginity, so thank you for that.

What the fuck, man! How am I supposed to get a little Prima Nocta if you already lost your virginity!

Dammit...

First and foremost, thank you for doing this AMA. You’re a huge inspiration to me.

• Is Clerks 3 going to be a book or a movie? Or both?
• Are you planning on writing any more comics in the foreseeable future? Your Batman and Green Arrow runs were awesome!
• If you could have superpower, what would it be?
• I realize you’re a busy guy, but is there any chance that you, the modern father of podcasting, would be interested in coming on my podcast? I’m getting Mewes and Zapcic on soon. I’d love to have you too!

Thank you again for this AMA and look forward to your responses!

a) CLERKS III will be a movie. And a book. And a floor waxer. And a desert topping. And the call of the Cthulu. And a large and moving Torg. The only thing it won't be is Midi-Chloridians. I hate that shit...

b) WIDENING GYRE part 2 is happening later this year. If you've never seen it, you can grab it digitally. Or pick up a copy Walt Flanagan draws in: http://jayandsilentbob.com/bawigytrpawi.html

c) Superpower: Teleportation. BAMF! I'm behind you! BAMF! I'm inside you! BAMF! You're like "I'm a dude!" BAMF! I'm like "It's all good in the BAMF!" I calls it Nightcrawlin'...

d) If Mewes and Zap vouch for you, I'm there.

Darn! That's the end! Sorry, kids - my 3 hours are up! Thanks for dropping by to shoot the shit on ol' reddit. Don't forget - JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE is coming to YOUR town! Tickets and trailer here: http://seesmod.com/groovymovie/

And to leave you with good vibes and free funny, here's a brand new SMODCAST! SModcast 248: Child Ridin' http://smodcast.com/episodes/child-ridin/

After that? Go make your dreams come true, kids! Life's better when you're making your dreams come true.

Unless your dream is to kill children or filet people. Don't do that shit, asshole. I'm talkin' dreams that don't involved hurting other people. You wanna hurt yourself? You're entitled. But don't hurt anyone else. s'fucking dick move.

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/YesThatKevinSmith Subscribe to my Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/seesmod

Bye!

Hey Kevin, I love all of your movies, especially Dogma and Red State. I'm so exited for the new movie as well. How happy were you to hear about Meghan Phelps leaving the Westboro Baptist Church?

Yay, for Meghan! I knew she had it in her!

I've emailed back and forth with her since the break and hopefully, we'll be sitting down for a SMODCAST soon!

Hey Kevin! Thanks for doing another one of these. Two questions:

1. Yesterday, there was a cruel April Fools joke where a site announced that Tarantino and Rodriguez would be making Grindhouse 2, and they listed you as directing one of the fake trailers. Of course, it turned out to be fake, but it got me thinking, what kind of fake movie would you make for Grindhouse?

2. Can I be in Clerks 3? Like a Quick Stop customer? No? Okay, just the first question.

1) My trailer would've been for a Toho-like RANGER DANGER.

2) Yes. We'll need lots of extras for CLERKS III, so watch my Twitter feed: in six months, I'll let you know when we need extras.

I just wanted to say you sir brought me out of a very dark point in my life with your film, cartooning, and smodcasting. Thank you.

That means the world to me, sir or madam. As much as I love your money, I love being your spirit guide more.

It's a tough ol' bird, this life. We'll get through it together.

First off, I have to say that I've been a HUGE fan since I saw Mallrats when I rented it back in '96, when I was 11 years old. Thank you so much for the years of entertainment you have provided us all!

I think what everyone wants to know is, what's the status on Clerks III? Have you finished the script? Are Jeff Anderson and Mos on board yet? If so, have you decided on how you're going to fund it? As you can tell, I'm VERY excited about this flick and although I'm sad to hear that you won't be writing/directing anymore films, I'm glad Clerks III will be your last.

Also, another small question that I don't think I've heard anyone ask you before? Can you remember the first time that someone randomly requested an autograph from you? Did you think it was weird?

Thank you so much for doing so many AMAs here. I've missed every single one of them, and I hope that you'll be gracious enough to answer a question from someone who considers himself your biggest fan!

Status of CLERKS III is this...

I'm on page 95. That means there's about 25 pages left to go. I'm in love with it and don't want it to end, but the end is near regardless.

Now, if you promise to buy some tickets for JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE (trailer and tix here: http://seesmod.com/groovymovie/ ), I'll give you a l'il inside info.

Go ahead - I'll wait right here. That URL again: http://seesmod.com/groovymovie/

whistles to pass the time

Okay, you're back. Good. Here's the skinny from The Fatty...

Dante. Randal. Jay. Silent Bob. They all return, naturally.

Elias. Becky. They're back as well.

So is Veronica.

I shared the first 84 pages and it passed muster with two very hard audiences so far: my wife (who, like most folks, isn't really a fan of my flicks) and Bryan Johnson (from COMIC BOOK MEN - season finale airing THIS THURSDAY). Bry's a tougher customer because a) he's the funniest person I know and b) he's the original Randal himself. Both loved it.

As for funding the flick - we nearly Kickstarted the budget back in November (talked about at great length here: http://smodcast.com/episodes/giant-sized-annual-1-clerks-iii-audience-0/ ). But now I'm feeling like that's not fair to real indie filmmakers who need the help. Unlike back when I made CLERKS in '91, I've GOT access to money now - so I should use that money and not suck any loot out of the crowd-funding marketplace that might otherwise go to some first-timer who can really use it. So if I can get away with it, I'm gonna try to pay for CLERKS III myself. As much as I love the crowd-funding model (and almost did it myself in early 2009 with RedStateGreen.com), that's an advancement in indie film that belongs to the next generation of artists. I started on my own dime, and if I'm allowed, I should finish on my own dime.

As regards Jeff and Brian: both have said "Hit me with a script and we'll see..." I'll be able to do that soon.

First time someone asked me for an autograph was at a high school play back in 1988, when I played Kenickie in GREASE. Felt weird then, still feels a little weird now. But I get it: I have Chuck Jones' autograph on BUGS ON BROADWAY Playbill as well as Penn & Teller's from a show back in 1988.

I talk about it the writing of CLERKS III with Scott Mosier on this week's new episode of SMODCAST. It'll be up in a few hours.

Thank you for all your awesome movies. I don't know what I ask.

You're too sweet.

Next time, ask for money! Duh!

Hey Kevin, huge fan of yours. I love the Clerks series and Comic Book Men.

I asked Jay Mewes in his AMA what he'd like to see happen in Clerks III, and he said "I'd love to see Jay & Silent Bob make a sex tape."

What are your thoughts on that?

Also, other than Batman, who is your favorite DC character, and who is your favorite Marvel character? And what are your favorite stories/graphic novels about them?

I love COMIC BOOK MEN too. Watch the Season Finale THURSDAY at 10! http://www.amctv.com/shows/comic-book-men

No Jay & Silent Bob sex tape in CLERKS III yet.

YET...

DC: Green Arrow and Deadshot Marvel: Daredevil

Hey baby you ever had a fat man in an overcoat lick your asshole?

That's one of Jay's first lines in the SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.

Callback, son!

http://seesmod.com/groovymovie/

Hi Kev! Big fan.

With all of the avenues that we have to hear you speak about every topic known to mankind (and more), I feel like your fans have a pretty good idea about who you are.

Has there ever been a moment when you found yourself doing something "un-Kev"?

The most "un-Kev" thing I ever did, honestly, was make CLERKS. I was so not that guy back in the day. I didn't run around my yard with a Super 8 camera. I never talked about being involved in the making of movies. And then I see SLACKER on my 21st birthday, and suddenly, filmmaking is ALL I can think of. And actually leaving the house and moving to Vancouver to go to Film School? It was akin to building a rocket ship and blasting off for Mars. I wasn't known for being very motivated. And then, all the sudden, I knew what I was supposed to do.

My brother told me about the moment he knew that he was gay and it sounded a lot like the moment I realized I was a filmmaker: I didn't tell my family at first - I only told my friends. And whenever I said it out loud to some of them, I got weird looks.

Kevin, I'm a huge fan of yours. Unfortunately I just found out, about 10 minutes ago, that you are doing an AMA and now I can't think of anything good to ask you. I'll just say some random shit and hope it works.

How much of Mewes dialog is ad-libbed, and what's your favorite line that has come out of his mouth ("Count the shells, sucka duck" always gets me for some reason)?

How much time do you spend in Red Bank? I live 2 and a half hours away and made my first trip up there this weekend to visit the Secret Stash. It's a beautiful town.

Did you know Walt Flanagan is a regular guy? He's not an actor or a robot or anything. He even let me touch him!

When will you do another An Evening With?

Will you be my friend?

Okay, that's all from me! Feel free to answer or ignore whichever questions you please. I don't control you.

1) Jay's dialogue isn't really ever ad-libbed. It was all written based on his inflections and Mewes-isms - like "Snootchie bootchies" and "Snoogans". My favorite delivery of Jay's is "I can't... believe... I'm... gonna get... some pussy... for... stealing a monkey..." while he humps my leg. He just came out of nowhere and practically came on my thigh.

2) I don't spend as much time in Red Bank as I did when we were making MALLRATS through STRIKE BACK, but I try to get back at least every other month. The beauty of COMIC BOOK MEN is it's an excuse to hit the Bank, see the store and hang with my friends... while getting paid to do so. Hopefully, AMC renews us for Season 3 and I can keep doing it. It'd be nice to be on the air when CLERKS III happens but if we're shown the door before that, I can't complain: that show's been a gift to me and mine any way you slice it.

3) Walt's as life-like as it gets, man. He's the realest cat I know.

4) As long as I'm above ground, there will always be another Evening with Kevin Smith. Here's the last one: http://smodcast.com/streaming

5) I am your friend, sir (or madam).

How disheartening is it to read people being shitty to you on Twitter and elsewhere on the internet just because they can? How much do you take to heart?

It's pretty transparent: folks hate you for doing anything because it reminds them they're doing nothing. If it helps them forget how fucking dumb they are for not ignoring me and creating something of their own instead, I'm okay with the slings and arrows.

At the very least, it keeps the competition down. Imagine all that wit being put to use to create something new and different rather than simply taking pot-shots at folks who make you feel like a loser? They wouldn't have to talk about other people's shit anymore: they'd be talking about their own.

But trolls don't process that, so they waste their time online. S'cool: I'm compassionate about it because if not for actually doing something instead of bitching about how other people do stuff, I might've wound up like one of those living dead fuckers.

It's a simple formula, haters: the more time you spend worrying about and commenting on me and all the shit I'm doing, the less time you spend doing... well, ANYTHING productive.

If you really hate my ass and what I make and the fact that I get to do whatever I want, then just start COMPETING with me: go try to do better and show people how easy it easy and what a loser I am.

Doesn't take a genius to figure this shit out, kids. But it's infinitely tougher to see anything real when you're wearing hater goggles.

I love Fatman on Batman, it's my favourite podcast right now. Having Grant Morrison on was really amazing, my only complaint is there wasn't enough of him! Any chance he'll do another podcast at some point?

FAT MAN ON BATMAN is one of the best ways I've found to feel eternally young. Whether you're a comics fan or not, it's a fascinating time machine... http://smodcast.com/channels/fatman-on-batman/

As for more Morrison, (New) GODS, yes! When he's back here in a few months, he said we can talk favorite stories. You hear him talk about DARK KNIGHT RETURNS? I'd listen to Grant tell me the story of my eventual grisly death and still be like "Tell it again..."

Where did your love for the Edmonton Oilers come from? How did you become a fan?

Gretzky gave me my love of the Oilers and Edmonton, sir.

Well, he didn't give it to me HIMSELF. I just fell in love with Gretzky and that love led me to Oil Country.

Hey man, first i love all your work. Heres my question "do you think disney will ruin starwars?"

I think Disney will do STAR WARS justice. Smart to do stand-alone Yoda, Boba and young Han Solo movies. And all the talent they're attaching are pretty passionate about the subject matter. And if they can take me to a galaxy far, far away anew? They'll get my money again.

Hey man! Thanks for doing the AmA

1. What's your opinion on Youtube being a platform for success for people who want to start writing sketch comedies and such?

2. Also, what originally motivated you to start writing?

1) My opinion is HIGH. Figuratively, not literally (people online get shitty about the misuse of literally). I wish Youtube had existed when I was a kid. I'd have made something of myself. Instead, look at this asshole... http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151315149391930&set=a.77596326929.88348.6985046929&type=1

2) My sister Virginia. She was writing a story about her and her friends going on an adventure when I was 8 and she was 12. She'd drawn a cover for her "book" and everything. I was confused, insisting "You can't just write a book... Can you?" Virginia said "Why not?"

First time I heard that very powerful sentiment of "Why not?" It's a code I try to live my life by. Say "Why not?" enough and you'll accomplish all manner of stuff you never thought possible. But fair warning: say "Why not?" enough and, from time to time, you'll also wind up with a dick in your mouth.

Clerks is the reason that I started local acting (5 years ago. Sorry, late bloomer to your films). Clerks II was, bar none, the best time I've ever had in a theater (even better than LOTR opening nights). I plan on being moved to LA in about 3-4 months to chase that dream (and probably have to move back to the Midwest in 3 years)... Are you going to have open auditions for Clerks III? It would be a dream come true just to sit in the background of a scene.

I'm sad that you're going to stop making films, but happy for what you've done. Good job man, good job.

See below. You'll have your chance, kid.

Greetings, film producer from the great white north here. Big fan, long time listener and all that.

I've read a few places that when you write a script you write one specific scene that never ends up in the movie. With your retirement from directing coming down on us, would you be willing to share that scene and talk about how that scene has helped you develop your movie scripts?

Thanks for the answer, the podcasts, movies and comics. Thanks for informing and inspiring a wider array of thought in a boy from the middle of the boreal forest in Canada.

Great idea! When I'm all done with CLERKS III (like when it's finally on home video), I'll share the Scruples scene with you. It's been looking for a home for 20 years... and eventually, you'll see why.

Were any April fool's pranks pulled in your house yesterday?

None. Seemed redundent.

I mean APRIL fool? I'm a fucking fool all year long...

You being a huge hockey fan and all, (No pun intended) What is you're thoughts on the season that has transpired so far coming back from the lockout and what did you think of the Chicago Blackhawks record breaking season opener and how about the pens winning streak thus far?

Hawks' run was nuts and called to mind the Dynasty Oilers of old. It was exciting to watch and check in on. Pens run has been great to watch too, but Sydney's smashed jaw might hurt their chances of keeping it going.

I fucking LOVE me some N.H.L., sir...

hey kev i am a really huge fan i've seen all your films and all your q and a specials, i'm 15 and i want to know what advice do you have for an aspiring filmmaker who wants to make films like yours? Also i would give up anything for an internship, my hopes, my dreams and even my virginity those things must be worth something in Hollywood

Edit I just want to add the first of your films that i saw was mallrats its like a gateway drug for your other movies

You wanna intern for me at age 15? 'kay. Hit up Jordan Monsanto (Mrs. Jason Mewes) on Twitter and tell her I sent you. You may be able to help us out with our Youtube channel, S.I.T. If you're not subscribed already, I'd suggest starting there, as she'll check that kinda thing. Subscribe to my Youtube channel here: http://bit.ly/SubscribeSMod

Fair warning, though: if you come work for me, I'm one of those tickling bosses. Sometimes inappropriately so.

How has your experience marketing Red State influenced your future film projects? What do you think the future holds for independent film distribution?

The RED STATE USA Tour leads directly to the JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE Tour. We learned how to take a movie on tour with RED STATE (and there's still more to do with it down the road...), and with GROOVY MOVIE, we get to perfect it. The budget of the entire flick was appallingly low, too: $69,000 (69, Nootch!), so by the end of the first day of ticket sales, we were already in profit. If I was putting this movie in a bunch of theaters with a standard release, we wouldn't be in profit for years. So... Ta-da! Wanna see a funny-ass cartoon movie about superheroes and then watch a funny-ass live podcast afterwards? Come get GROOVY: http://seesmod.com/groovymovie/

As for the future? I'm not sure what everyone else is gonna be doing, but I'm gonna continue with this touring model. It fits me and the audience who likes our shit perfectly. And those are the only people I worry about pleasing: my audience.

When you work for your audience, you're never really working at all. It's awesome and win-win.

Kevin - Now that "Hit Somebody" has been changed to a mini-series versus a standard theatrical release - is the intention still to film in Detroit or will budget force filming to a different location?

We'll still be shooting Detroit. Maybe not the entire production, but I got specific Detroit exteriors in the script so we'll be skating there.

Is Dante and Randle in the super groovy movie ?

Is clerks 3 will it leave off right after the second Or time between how much ?

By the way love all the work minus jersey girl.

Dante makes a cameo in JAY & SILENT BOB'S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.

CLERKS III picks up 7/8 years later. Dante and Randal have quit being Batman, grown beards and started limping. Also, their autopilot is broke.

I heard awhile back you wanted to take Clerks III to broadway. Any chance of that still happening?

The Broadway version I wanted to do (six month run) turned out to be cost-prohibitive as fuck. Apparently, plays and musicals needs to run awhile to earn their costs back.

That being said, I'd love to see CLERKS: THE MUSICAL. I own the rights to do CLERKS as a stage play or musical, so maybe in ten years, I can talk my man mc chris into writing some lyrics for me...

What do you think so far of Man of Steel? If ever given the chance, would you adapt another Superman movie? Or any other superhero movie? What did you think of Green Hornet? It was the worst movie I saw that year.

I LOVE the MAN OF STEEL trailer. Zack Snyder can do anything - including fuck my wife. And as much as it'd hurt to watch him do that, he'd make it look so fucking cool, I'd still have to admire him for breaking my heart and destroying my marriage.

And I love the new Superman. I was a huge fan of THE TUDORS. And Michael Shannon as Zod? Take my money, Warner Brothers. Take all my money and make me believe a man can fly...

Hey Kev. I always wondered if you knew Affleck and Will Ferrell would go on to play roles you had prophesied in Strikes Back. Cant wait to catch Super Groovy in Portland!! Thanks for everything fat man. You mean the world to me.

I read some tea leaves while writing the script. Pity I couldn't have seen JERSEY GIRL in the future...

See you in PORTLAND on MAY 9th, sir! http://www.cascadetickets.com/apps/calendar/performer.php?performer_id=3431

Hey Kev, a question about HBO and a question about Clerks

First, My girlfriend and I have been been hoping to get to one of the live shows next time you come to the boston area. Coming anytime soon?

That aside...a more substantial question, what made you want to write Clerks 3? I thought Hit Somebody was the end? Did inspiration simply strike one morning and refuse to be ignored?

Also, on a side note. Thank you so much for your podcasts. Every long drive I go on with my girlfriend, we load up on back-episodes of HBO and the time flies by. It's actually something to look forward to, and kind of brings us together on long car-drives if you can believe it.

[edit] Oops. I meant Hit Somebody, not Puck Nuts. Edited to make sense.

DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY

No Boston BABBLE planned at the moment. Just GROOVY Movie Tour with me and Jason Mewes at the BOSTON HOUSE OF BLUES on APRIL 24: http://concerts.livenation.com/event/01004A59A0C08276

The story of why CLERKS III covered here in BABBLE, sir: http://smodcast.com/episodes/giant-sized-annual-1-clerks-iii-audience-0/

Do you have any idea what you are going to do for your trailer for Grindhouse with QT and RR?

PS:I love all your movies, Q&A's, and Fatman on the Batman and Jay and Silent Bob Get Old are the smodcast I listen to

That was an April Fools joke, sir.

Out of curiosity, where is Clerks III coming from?

By this I mean we know that a lot of the inspiration (and probably raw material) for Clerks was from your time working at a convenience store, so I've really been wondering what the creative seed is that's prompted you to write Clerks III.

The creative seed was hitting middle-age. Time is running out is kind of the theme of the whole flick.

What will the next SModcast Pictures release be? LOVED Bindlestiffs!

The Phase 4 initiative formerly known as SModcast Pictures Presents is being renamed The Kevin Smith Movie Club! Story is here: http://smodcast.com/episodes/the-kevin-smith-movie-club/

Our first release will be the funny-as-fuck Sundance fave MILKSHAKE... http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/risky-business/sundance-2013-phase-4-nabs-415904

And I've been chasing this amazing Slamdance flick called THE DIRTIES that I hope to secure for The Kevin Smith Movie Club. Even if we don't get it, you GOTTA see it... http://www.thedirtiesthemovie.com/

Kev, what are your expectations for the upcoming season of TWD?

Going out on a limb here, but...

I'm betting there'll be more zombies.

There. I said it.

How involved are you going to be on "The Death of "Superman Lives": What Happened?"

I think I'm being interviewed for it.

Hey Kevin sad that Smorgy didn't end up happening. What would be your current top ten movies that I should watch?

Have you seen DREDD? It's an excellent comic book flick and a helluva good flick in general. Really worth your time.

Also loved TAKE THIS WALTZ. Best flick I saw last year.

What has been your favorite interest/hobby that you've been able to share with Harley?

It's not an interest or hobby, but the thing about Harley that I treasure the most is her compassion: She truly feels for humanity. She's all heart. And while I never sat her down and said "Love everybody," I know she got that from me genetically. She's in it for herself, don't get me wrong: but she's also in it for everybody else. That's a rare quality in people and I treasure the folks I meet who feel that way.

I remember reading a story from a guy who worked at a record store in NYC and David Lee Roth started coming by. It was so awesome because Diamond Dave would stay and shoot the shit for a long while. Then he came in again the next week, so awesome. Then he kept coming in and shooting the shit. For hours. This went on for weeks. At one point the guy would actually avoid Dave and find work to do so he wouldn't have to hang with him. It went from awesome, to oh hey there.

Don't be Diamond Dave. You're here a lot with the AMAs.

If you know I'm here doing AMA's alot (and I've only done 5 now) then that means YOU'RE here a lot - certainly a lot more than ME.

So I can't issue the same warning in return: I'm sad to report that you already ARE a Diamond Dave, Slappy...

Kevin, I'm an atheist, but my favorite movie of yours is "Dogma"! I've read that Mr. Carlin was as well. Do you have any stories from George about what he thought of religion, especially while working on "Dogma"?

This is my Facebook photo stream, sir: http://www.facebook.com/YesThatKevinSmith/photos_stream

Scroll down to find all the pics of Curious George, complete with tales attached. Here's a George and JLo story: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151087710826930&set=pb.6985046929.-2207520000.1364924031&type=3&theater

Will Jason Lee make an appearance in Clerks III??? Will you incorporate the emergence of hipsters and they're annoyance into the movie, I would love to hear a Clerks style rant about hipsters... I fucking love Jason Lee... s/n I used the quote "they call her Trish the dish" to a hipster yesterday. He didn't know where it came from. I was disappointed.

Hipsters existed back when we made CLERKS, sir. But I've always found that if you want something to go away, you shouldn't call attention to it.

And if a hipster is defined as someone who doesn't know my flicks, then the world is 99.99999999% hipster and we're outnumbered, sir. So, shhhhh...