My name's Kathy Carlston and after graduating from Columbine, I became a visual effects artist. I've worked on feature films such as The Avengers, Oz: The Great and Powerful and R.I.P.D. After news reached me of the tragedies in Aurora, Newtown, Boston, etc, I had an idea that was heavily inspired by the Trevor Project's It Gets Better campaign. It occurred to me how IMMENSELY helpful it would have been in the months and years after Columbine to have the reassurance that It Gets Better and that I would eventually be okay. Even better, it would be perfect if I could have that reassurance in video form, where I could access it when I was ready, however many times I wanted, and in the comfort of my own home during the times when I was too depressed to get out of my PJs.

So, I've been gathering my film buddies and my high school buddies to start creating videos of hope, resilience and healing. Our goal is to build a library of resources for people who are coping with different forms of hardship and trauma. We'd like to interview people about a myriad of topics, including chronic illness, recovery from abuse, homelessness, support for veterans, human trafficking, and more.

Find more information at http://resilienthope.org and AMA!

EDIT: Thanks for so many thoughtful and rad responses! Simply incredible. I'm taking a break to grab some noms. Be back in a bit to answer more questions!

EDIT2: I'm back and answering questions as fast as I can. Thanks again for your amazing responses!

EDIT3: Alrighty! I'm taking a break for the next while, but I'll pop in to answer what I can as I get the chance. Thanks again! :D

EDIT4: Hi! I'm going to keep answering questions throughout the day (Sunday 6/30) whenever I have time. ALSO I fixed a problem with info@resilienthope.org - it should be working now and I would love to hear your stories, or would love to hear from anyone who's interested in helping with the project. Thanks!

Comments: 1236 • Responses: 72  • Date: 

Malplace548 karma

Are you in this class photo? In that case, can you point yourself out?

I kind of get the chills when I look at Eric and Dylan in the upper left...

thetallone7383 karma

Naw dude, I was a freshman at the time that the shooting happened, and that's a picture of the senior class. It's been a long time since I've seen that, great to see so many friendly faces that I've missed!

brtm212 karma

Half the guys in that picture look like complete psychopaths.

BigToneLoc40828 karma

To be fair everyone in the 90s looked like a psychopath.

thetallone7209 karma

Hahaha!! Love it :D

Matthew21266 karma

When was this picture taken? This is really interesting

thetallone7115 karma

If I remember correctly (which...who knows...) it was probably taken sometime towards the beginning of the year, in the fall.

roxie1127455 karma

Did this make you or make you not believe in god?

thetallone71101 karma

I personally already believed in God and I still believe in God - in a God who weeps and walks with us in sunlight and shadow and cries when we cry. But I definitely can empathize with people who come to any other conclusion. So many valid perspectives.

cZaro161 karma

[deleted]

thetallone789 karma

Agreed ^

thetallone7125 karma

Oh, and btw when I read this question it didn't occur to me to take it in any way other than whether or not it impacted my personal beliefs -- bad things happening to good people/God not preventing it and the wrenching emotions that accompany that reality. That's what I thought of, not a reference to the bullying that Eric and Dylan put people through in the library. Thank you for your thoughtful question :)

JamCamel65 karma

A better way of wording it would be did your religious views change or stay the same after the shooting?

thetallone7151 karma

Actually, religion brought me a LOT of comfort. My religious views aren't what they once were any more, but that wasn't a result of Columbine. lol but that's a rabbit hole that I'd prefer to address another time, if at all.

splashy83441 karma

Also, the shooters respectively asked this during the attack. Idk if the original post had an relevance to this or if that was his intention, but that's what I immediately thought of when I read this! "Do you believe in God now?!" shudders

thetallone757 karma

Ya, definitely a horrific thing to ask people and such courage to stand up when the consequences are so high!

BritishBlond241 karma

How did you respond when the shooting intially started? Where were you and what did you think was happening?

thetallone7378 karma

Initially I thought it was a senior prank. Then a friend told me that she thought this was serious and that snapped me into reality.

The_Fancy_Gentleman163 karma

Where were you when the pipe bombs went off?

thetallone7303 karma

In a science room a floor above them. I do remember the floor shaking several times as we waited for help to arrive.

cZaro205 karma

[deleted]

thetallone7277 karma

Honestly I have no idea. I was a freshman at the time and had never met either of the boys responsible.

cZaro134 karma

[deleted]

thetallone7365 karma

Hmm...this is a complicated question. There were definitely people who got out pretty quickly, but there were 2000 of us and it's difficult to give a good summation of that many stories, even if I knew more of them than I do.

For me, I was having lunch in the cafeteria at the time and Coach Sanders got up on a chair and warned us that there was someone with a gun outside. He got our attention, and within a few minutes people around me got up and ran. I ran up the stairs, veered into a science room, and followed the teacher's instructions to hide on the floor along the wall next to the door. A few minutes later Coach Sanders came in. He'd been shot, and we spent the next few hours watching a couple of Eagle Scouts give him first aid. Eventually, we were liberated by the SWAT team and escorted out of the school.

Those are the quick basics of my personal experience. It's a religiously based book, but there's a more detailed account of what happened to me in a book that my sister and other Columbine alumni wrote a few years ago: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1590382668

reaverdude287 karma

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that I've ever read about William Sanders is that he was a fucking hero and more kids could have died that day if it wasn't for his selfless actions. It's important to remember that prior to Columbine, mass school shootings were relatively uncommon and definitely did not receive the type of attention, both media and otherwise, that it does now. As you said in another thread and what others who were there to experience that terrible day have also said, everyone at first thought it was a prank.

Takes a lot of balls to not only recognize a threat like an active shooter early, but also to act on it. The world would be a better place with more men like him on it.

thetallone7375 karma

Dude, Coach Sanders...was the BEST. I didn't know him on a personal level, but my sister was on the basketball team and he meant SO MUCH to her. A hero on and off the court. He definitely saved my life.

Honestly, being in the room where he eventually passed away, I spent a lot of the years following suffering from TREMENDOUS survivor's guilt. It broke my heart to be so close to him and to not have been able to save him somehow. In the years following, I knew the guilt was irrational, but it continued. I'm not sure why this thought broke it, but probably around 2006 or 2007, the thought occurred to me that if I HAD the resources and the ability/know-how to save him, I would have in a heartbeat. It's a simple thought, but for some reason it unlocked a piece of me inside and I got a tremendous amount of healing when it sunk in.

Sansa_Stark_149 karma

Coach Sanders was the brother of a well liked business owner in my very small hometown. We were devastated and moved by his heroism. This tragedy affected so many people. I received the last Coach Sanders Scholarship that was given out in his honor. I'm so proud to have been selected by his brother. I think of their family often. Thank you for mentioning him

*edit wording

thetallone790 karma

Dude, this made me tear up. That's amazing! Thanks for sharing! <3

Brandywarhol14 karma

What is your suggestion to help someone cope with survivors guilt? I teach in Moore, Oklahoma. While I'm sure everyone is now tired of hearing about it my students are still living it. I lost a boy who I had taught for two years. Many teachers, parents, and kids are still very emotionally lost.

thetallone710 karma

Gosh, I can only speak from my experience, but my answer would be to listen to them, be their friend and share your thoughts and heart with them. Also, it's common for survivors guilt, PTSD, and so many things to last for much longer than ANYONE would like it to. The people who were the most helpful for me were the ones who I felt safe with and who were there by my side for the long haul. I'd recommend any amount of researching that you feel comfortable doing on the subject, and referring them to a therapist who they feel comfortable with, and/or finding one for you too, but only when you and they are ready.

DJSkullblaster161 karma

What was your life like for the first week or so after columbine?

If you could say anything to the shooters right now, what would it be?

thetallone7315 karma

The first week after Columbine was arguably the most difficult week for me, personally. But day after day, it got better.

The day that the incident happened, I remember getting to my house, telling my family what happened, and crying for hours and hours. It was the first time that I'd cried so much that I physically ran out of tears. Then the next day, I cried again, but didn't run out. And the day after that was a little bit better than the day before.

I remember waking up a week after in the sunshine and realizing that it had been a week and I'd survived - the pain had made baby steps towards getting better and therefore I had hope that I'd eventually be ok again.

jadenray6449 karma

How much later did you go back to school?

I'm glad to hear you had a fast recovery from the initial trauma.

thetallone752 karma

I think it was 3 weeks? Maybe 2? I can't quite remember and am not sure where to look it up. But we had a space in time for a break.

Cognac_Carl153 karma

What do you think about guns?

thetallone7525 karma

I'm personally not a fan, but I can understand why people feel the need to protect themselves. Gun control is definitely a complicated issue that I don't have answers to.

roles_away152 karma

Not being insensitive or aloof, but what was the first things your classmates spoke about during your 10 year reunion?

thetallone7323 karma

The 10 year reunion was actually super rad -- we had a great time chatting about each other's lives and catching up. Eventually friends and I discussed the event, but most of the time was spent having a good time and enjoying each other's company.

sofaviolin133 karma

Who was the biggest help to you after such an awful event? Who would you recommend talking to afterwards?

thetallone7173 karma

It's hard to choose, because so many people were incredibly helpful to me. My immediate family, though in shock and traumatized themselves, really stood behind my sister and I and gave us TONS of support. My extended family and friends also called us every day for a long time and it was amazing to be able to talk and process things.

In the years afterwards, I went to therapists when I was ready, and that became a huge source of healing as well.

sofaviolin39 karma

Thank you for responding! I'm glad you've been able to overcome!

thetallone747 karma

Thanks dude! I appreciate it! :D

burnsrado129 karma

How long did it take from hearing the first shot, to knowing something was seriously wrong?

thetallone7161 karma

Hmm...It's hard to gauge because everything was such a blur, but it took a while for me to realize that what I was hearing were gunshots. Wagering a guess, I'd say for me it was about 2 full minutes between when Coach Sanders got our attention until I had any sort of a grip on what was happening.

jsh5h7100 karma

What do you think about the media coverage of these kinds of events?

thetallone7166 karma

I think it's getting better, and I'd love to see it continue to get better. I loved that there were so many stories of courage and generosity in the aftermath of the events in Boston. Marathon runners running to donate blood? Dang. It still makes me teary eyed.

Charlie_the_winner39 karma

I think that focusing on positive aspects, like stories of the victims' recovery or others efforts to help as opposed to digging around the personal life of the killer, would help prevent future tragedies. It shows potential killers they won't get the infamy they desire.

thetallone736 karma

I totally agree. Also, there's so little known about the lasting, real damage and years of struggle that go hand in hand with going through trauma. I'd hope that if more people had more insight into the absolute long-term horror they were putting others through, there would be less events like these and more people doing their best to help and heal.

Fherone92 karma

What do you think can be done to prevent future school shootings?

thetallone7397 karma

Honestly I think the most powerful thing to stop shootings is for people who are outsiders, who don't fit in and are bullied to have that kid who stands up for them, takes them by the hand and becomes their friend. Violence isn't healed by violence. IMO, violence is healed by love.

EDIT: Fixed a typo. "become" not "becomes"

EDIT2: Changed it back, since it was actually correct. Woops.

The_Serious_Account79 karma

So, correct me if I'm wrong, but what I'm hearing is that metal detectors aren't the answer?

thetallone7134 karma

I don't think so. I mean, it might serve to be a deterrent, but they're certainly not a cure.

VegHeaded57 karma

What a wonderful response. You rock.

thetallone740 karma

Hahaha Thanks :D <3

Jafair87 karma

[deleted]

thetallone7147 karma

Personally I don't see a need for them to be. I'd rather see more positive messages available to people rather than things which can potentially inspire copycat violence or any sort of hurt.

Also I think that it'd be great to spare Eric and Dylan's families the pain that I'm sure those files and videos could cause. I'm sure they've been through hell and back a million times and I think they deserve a break.

Runnerjohnstone70 karma

Have you read David Cullen's book Columbine and if so, what are your views of it?

thetallone7133 karma

I haven't read it, honestly I'm not really interested in reading it because I think it would trigger some things for me without a good reason.

celtic_thistle68 karma

My dad was one of the first SWAT guys into the school that day. I was 10 at the time and went to school about 15 minutes from Columbine High. There are so many myths about that day, the school, the shooters, the victims--what is the myth that you would clear up for everyone if you could?

thetallone763 karma

Dude, could you like...give your dad a giant hug for me? 'Cause seriously. Win. And in terms of myths... Hmmm... This really isn't so much a myth as it is society having a history of turning a blind eye, but I wish that there was more understanding and empathy for the LONG long time that recovery from traumatic events takes, and I wish that there were more forums and safe places where people who are dealing with so much can talk and find community.

But in terms of actual myth, I do resent that Colorado is portrayed as a violent place in some movies, such as the most recent Charlie and the Chocolate Factory having the kid who plays violent video games in CO. Colorado people are rad!

ArnoldChase63 karma

Thanks for doing the AMA.

What, if anything, triggers your memories/emotions of the events?

thetallone7191 karma

Honestly, these days, the main thing that triggers things for me is when I walk down the meat aisle of certain grocery stores. Most places are clean enough where I can't smell anything, but there are certain stores where I can't walk down the aisles because of the smell.

ArnoldChase42 karma

Wow. Thank you for the reply.

thetallone723 karma

Sure thing! :D

uber_party_crasher20 karma

Can you elaborate for me quick? Is it the smell of the meat or something else? I'm lost. Thanks!

thetallone743 karma

Ya, it's something about the smell of the meat. It smells enough like the room that I was trapped in that it brings me back there, so I tend to avoid those aisles when I can.

anonamys17 karma

Do you still eat meat, or is the smell too much?

thetallone771 karma

I am an omnomnomosaur. I loves me some meat -- cooked meat doesn't bother me at all.

bpkid333159 karma

At what point after the traumatic events in your life did you realize "it gets better"? Did it take months, years, or is it still an ongoing process?

thetallone787 karma

For me, it comes in waves. Even on the first day, being able to go home, hug my mom, dad and sister, that was AMAZING. A big milestone for me, personally, happened about a week after the incident where I realized that it had been a week and the pain had gone from a level 1,000,000 to maybe a level 100. It gave me hope that it could eventually be ok.

Overall, though, it's taken years to get to the place where I am now. And I'm still healing -- it's an ongoing process. But every year, things are better than the last, regarding this issue and other things that have been difficult.

alloftheproblems59 karma

As a survivor of a similar attack, I've been living my life with PTSD -- which has led to terrible anxiety. I don't really feel like I can trust anyone, even my family. It's ruined me.

Do you experience any similar feelings?

thetallone766 karma

Ya, particularly when I moved away from my community. Going away to college was so traumatic for me because I felt like I had no one to talk to who really understood what I was saying. When someone would find out that I was there that day, the first question that I would be asked was usually "Were you scared?" and I found that to be the biggest turn off and extremely unhelpful.

I don't know what you've experienced and I'm SO SORRY that it's been so terrible for so long. What helped me to get through things was to go to a therapist who I felt cared about me. My mom got a recommendation of a good one from her friend who was also a therapist, and her recommendation happened to be a good fit for me.

But definitely, if you can, find someone who you can feel safe opening up to. And hang in there. There were so many times in my life where I didn't feel like there was anything to keep going for, but I'm so glad that I hung in there through it all because things got so much better -- having the opportunity to pursue my career and try to help people along the way has been AMAZINGLY fulfilling.

Dude, I wish you the best of luck. There are ways to contact me through http://resilienthope.org and I'd be more than happy to listen, or help in any way that I can.

m16a55 karma

Thanks for doing the AMA! I was wondering, based on your experiences, how you feel about the current gun control argument? Do you feel allowing teachers to arm themselves and be trained could be a useful/beneficial thing?

thetallone7139 karma

Gun control is DEFINITELY an issue that I don't have enough education about. I tend to stay out of the debates. That being said, in my opinion, I can imagine that Eric and Dylan would have hesitated to do what they did had they known that there were people inside who could defend themselves. Still though, there are so many issues with liability that go hand in hand with that possibility.

m16a43 karma

Thank you for an honest and mature response. Many people will jump into ANY debate, without being fully educated. I'm surely guilty of this at times as well. I appreciate the response and your time for doing this AMA.

thetallone718 karma

Thanks! And thanks for your kind words!

Nivekj28 karma

If I recall, wasn't there an armed officer on campus who traded shots with one of them?

thetallone721 karma

I remember hearing something about that, though I'm not sure about the details. I BELIEVE that it referred to SWAT team members outside the school who exchanged shots with them through the library windows.

highfivingmf52 karma

What are your feelings toward the shooters at this point?

thetallone7170 karma

Honestly I still wish that they had more people who cared about them before they went off the deep end. If there is an after life, I'd wish that they'd have the healing and closure that they didn't let themselves have here.

paruu78 karma

you are a wonderful human being

thetallone744 karma

Hahaha thanks. I have plenty of butthead moments, but my parents raised me right.

drakeblood451 karma

If you could change any one thing that people did in response to Columbine or any other shooting, what would it be and why?

thetallone7139 karma

I would change the way that the media handled this event. Reporters were extremely intrusive to friends of mine who had lost people who they loved. Personally I am grateful for the internet because of the amount of accountability that people have now that there's a way for abuses and unkindness to go viral.

jkernan755326 karma

It does still happen though, it sucks.

thetallone710 karma

Ya, I agree, though hopefully the more people are aware of the problem and insist that reporters and other media representatives treat people like people, the more progress will be made.

thebabyslayer50 karma

How did your parents react when you came home?

thetallone782 karma

They were awesome. They just held me and let me cry as I told them what happened to me. My parents are rock stars <3

_Neoshade_48 karma

I have a friend who was in the music room during the Columbine shootings and has lead a somewhat troubled life since then. She's doing great for herself now, works with horses and is highly motivated and self-employed. But I don't think that she's ever sought counseling or spoken to anyone seriously about it. She's taken her own long road to healing. I think what you're doing is really great, and I think that you and her might be great resources for each other. PM me - I'd like to discuss putting you in touch.

thetallone734 karma

Thanks dude! I'll PM you now -- though it might be a little while before I can respond, there are a lot of messages flying to my inbox, but I'll do my best to read over it again.

If I space out, there are definitely ways to contact me through http://resilienthope.org

TheReasonableCamel39 karma

Proof?

thetallone744 karma

I've posted a link to the blog, does that work?

http://resilienthope.org/blog/ama-on-reddit/

thetallone738 karma

There's http://resilienthope.org

There's also a number of articles including: http://extras.denverpost.com/news/shot0422d.htm

I can provide other sources if that isn't enough

grant022 karma

Anyone can link to a website - AMAs posted in /r/IAmA do require actual proof of your claims. I am removing this post until proof that you are a Columbine survivor is provided. Thanks! The sidebar has more information, including about how to send in proof confidentially (as opposed to publicly in this thread).

grant040 karma

OP has posted a link to this on her organization's website. Re-approving.

thetallone729 karma

Thank you :)

FeilNerguson36 karma

How were things at the school the months after it happened, or just after time had passed in general?

thetallone769 karma

The event happened in late April, and we had a couple of weeks or so where we weren't in classes, so that particular year we finished at a neighboring high school. That school would attend in the mornings, and we'd attend in the evenings. It felt a lot like group therapy, to me at least.

The next year we went back to our original building and it was hard and things were somber, especially at first, but I loved being able to be around my friends who understood in some way what I had been through. And there were definitely tons of good times and fun high school moments for sure.

polarnoir33 karma

What did you think of Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine"? Even if you haven't seen it, what's your general impression of it, how you feel about it, and what the more the film could have done.

thetallone744 karma

Hmmm... I've only ever seen a clip from it, and that was a few years ago in an Intro to Film class. The clip was a cartoon that satirized the gun industry. I haven't watched the rest of the film. I wasn't interested at the time. My general impression of it, through comments that I've heard from some fellow alumni, was that it wasn't really about the incident, but an exploration about gun laws. I'd be curious to watch it now that it's been a few years to see what I think.

blab7031 karma

This isn't a question, rather I just wanted to thank you for trying to take the terrible experience you and your fellow classmates went through and trying to help others with their experiences. I know it can't be easy to talk openly about such tragic events, let alone have been a part of them.

thetallone745 karma

Dude, when the fact sunk in that there was a possibility of taking the hardest event that I've had to deal with and turning it on its head to help others, I was SO excited. That continues to be hugely exciting and motivating for me. Thanks for your kind words!

username_win30 karma

Not to be a dick, but the last time somebody did an AMA like this it was discovered he was a paid brady campaign lobbyist. If you are in a similar situation, could you please tell us before this becomes cluttered with questions?

thetallone740 karma

I try to stay out of politics. My reasons for doing this is to help spread the word about the project so that 1) people who have been impacted by trauma can be potentially helped and 2) anyone who's interested in being interviewed or in helping in any way will have this on their radar.

GoldenGod211230 karma

How well did you know Rachel Scott?

thetallone767 karma

I didn't know her personally, though I did run the spotlight for the spring play, "Smoke in the Room," which she had a role in. I remember her being incredibly patient with me one particular time when I missed my queue for her entrance.

RenegadeJane26 karma

I have many friends in the VFX industry. I've been following pretty closely with the entire movement towards regulating the industry and making working conditions better and more stable for vfx artists. What are your opinions on the idea of unionizing? Or do you think there are other ways to create stability within your industry?

thetallone737 karma

Goodness. I'd love it if they'd unionize. IMO, it'd be more important for tax subsidies to be a thing of the past and for the houses to band together and form a trade organization so houses don't have to keep bidding under their costs and shutting down. I was among the first layoffs at Rhythm and Hues and I can tell from my experience there that it was an AWESOME company full of amazing, kind, and TALENTED people who really didn't deserve the horribleness that happened last February.

minusthelela23 karma

How difficult was it for you to get to safety?

thetallone746 karma

I had run out of the cafeteria into a science classroom and wound up being trapped inside of the school for a few hours with about 30 kids in the room. We were eventually liberated by a SWAT team. So for me, getting to relative safety wasn't particularly difficult, but playing the waiting game was extremely scary.

jatorres20 karma

I'd love to hear what you think about violent media (games, movies, etc) and its effect on children.

thetallone795 karma

I have a zillion friends who grew up playing violent video games, watching movies, etc who turned out to be amazing, upstanding, beautiful people. I DO think, however, that it's a much more productive use of time to fantasize about how to HELP people rather than how to hurt them.

TheWaterfallEffect19 karma

As a fellow Columbine student that graduated in the past few years, I'm really glad to see your life has continued to progress. I'm simply curious if you're still in contact with Mr. D or any other teachers?

thetallone722 karma

I'm friends with Mr. D and Mr. Andres (the younger :D ) on facebook. They were also both at our 10 year reunion last summer, and that was super rad to see them. I'd LOVE to get in contact with Mrs. Sampson, someday. She was so rad!

GladiatorRobot18 karma

What do you think is the most effective way to prevent future shootings from happening? ie: gun control, mental health system overhall.

thetallone780 karma

Honestly I think the most effective way to prevent tragedies is to be the kind of person who reaches out in kindness to people who are different and who are outcasts. I never personally met Eric and Dylan, but I wish that they had more people who cared about them. In my opinion, people who feel loved and supported want to help people rather than hurt them.

Z3r0Th3H3r018 karma

During the Columbine shooting, did you ever see either shooter, or did you manage to escape without getting that close either one. Also, due to the massive media coverage of the Columbine shooting, due you think that mass shootings thing became more of a "trend" in America. I mean I know there were shootings before Columbine, but it seems like it became more of a thing amongst the crazies afterwards.

thetallone739 karma

I never saw the shooters, personally. Coach Sanders warned us so that we had enough of a head start where I was able to get away before they came into the cafeteria.

It DID seem like right after the event there were several copy cat events, but many of the things that I've read indicate that events like these are getting less frequent.

AtheistComic16 karma

[deleted]

thetallone739 karma

I was a freshman when it happened. And hmm...the only thing that I have to offer the other questions is my personal opinion. It's impossible to say for certain what the causes of this or any other event truly were. In my opinion, the culprit tends to be cruelty, loneliness, and a scathing lack of kindness on the part of the perpetrators, but also on the part of people who never reached out to the oddball kids in friendship.

The word that keeps popping up in my head, in terms of protecting people from violence is kindness. Personally, I think that life has so much more potential than protecting from the bad. I hope for a world where people feel loved, included, enjoyed, and wanted. If more people went out of their way to make even one person feel like they were loved, then wow. It'd be totally rad.

Jimay10 karma

How do you feel about folks these days turning shootings into opportunities for conspiracy theory? Always blaming a covert plot and not the killer? Do you feel it hurts the discourse?

thetallone725 karma

Hmm...honestly I tend to not pay attention to them and ignore them. If they feel the need to voice their opinions, that's great, but I'm usually not interested in entertaining their ideas.

flying_dojo9 karma

In your experience, what was the most crucial help/support for you during the immediate aftermath of the incident?

thetallone716 karma

Family and friends. Hands down. Being able to just hug my dad and cry right after getting out of the school was amazing. And for me, being with friends who were there and "got it" was the best.

treeGuerin8 karma

Did Eric Harris seem like a dark troubled youth or just an average kid who couldn't quite fit in.

thetallone716 karma

My apologies, but I never met him, so I really have no idea.

Tf2Maniac6 karma

How close were you to actual gunfire? Or the library?

thetallone710 karma

When things started, I was in the cafeteria. They were just outside, making their way in. Then, I hid in a science classroom. At that point, we felt the ground shake from explosions beneath us, and we heard them at least a couple of times running through the science hallway, firing bullets. I wasn't in the library. I had friends who were, most of them being some of the sweetest, kindest human beings I've ever known, both before and after. When we were evacuated, we were escorted up a hill and passed a couple of students, Rachel Scott and Dan Rohrbough, who had passed away.

Maddie-Moo5 karma

Did you read Dave Cullen's book, "Columbine"? If so, what'd you think of it?

thetallone72 karma

I haven't read it, honestly I'm not really interested in reading it because I think it would trigger some things for me

jointheredditarmy4 karma

How do you define "survivor"? Were you shot at and missed? Did you actually get hit and lived? Or did you just happen to be in columbine?

thetallone73 karma

Hmm I've never really given this enough thought to articulate a definition. I feel that everyone who was a student, faculty, or emergency response would fit under that umbrella because everyone was affected, whether they were in the immediate area or not. Does that answer your question adequately?

ghulamsameer3 karma

What were you doing when you first realized there was a shooting?

thetallone723 karma

I had just sat at a table with my friends in the cafeteria. Pepperoni pizza and a free chocolate chip cookie. (Free Cookie Tuesday, FTW!)

010001110100111101-2 karma

Are you going to actually answer these questions?

thetallone725 karma

Yes, my apologies, I stepped away to give a friend a ride to work.