IAmA the 43 year old terminally ill husband and father, back with great news!

HELL YEA FUCK DYING! LIVE ON YOU GREAT STRONG HEART GUY!

Shh, Death might hear you...I don't know if we're breaking up quite yet.

It sounds like you guys are going on a break at least, keep strong good sir!

There is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.

Brilliant.

this thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, upvotes for everyone!

AJ?

rinse and repeat.

For people not getting it: Reddit Enhancement Suite allows you to navigate comments with the keyboard.

A = upvote

J = next comment

AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA... = upvotes all around

i dont get it :(

edit: SORRY. im stupid. I got it. yay!

A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! THIS DAY, WE FIGHT! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!

Point: Fuck shit, fight to live another day.

LOTR :3

Something is going to break...or wear to a nub, that's for sure. Lol

Giggity?

Or at least two Hominas

It has been many a year since I've heard "Homina".

Shine on you magnificent bastard

I am a crazy diamond.

What do we say to the god of death?

I loved that guy.

I want your doctor to say "We can build him. We have the technology." Congrats, btw!

And it only took a laptop and what I thought was a bottle opener. Thanks!

I'm glad you're going to have to get a new username!

Well, aren't we all dying, just a little bit day by day?

Well, it's time to start drinking again.

"The ICD nurse and a cardiologist logged into my heart"

Can I just say that this is nuts? As for the news, congratulations. I hope your upcoming tests are all equally as good.

How do you think I felt repeating the phrase "My heart...has a bug. There is a programming error...in my heart."

That programmer should be fired.

They probably never thought about it. Making the device smart enough to alter itself to reflect a better rhythm was never considered, I think.

That's not acceptable for a bug IMO. This isn't a gaming device...it's a medical device for his heart. Are you comfortable with them not finding any and every bug considering what it's used for? I'm not and I'm willing to bet that you wouldn't either if you or somebody close had the problem.

I'm very forgiving about it because of what could have happened. I understand that while being a very sophisticated device, it has limits in functionality due to size. I'm just happy that the problem was figured out, that it was corrected, and maybe no one else will have to deal with it.

I just read that in GLaDOS's voice. shudder

Why? This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: huge success.

This is awesome and you should feel awesome!

I do feel awesome. I actually am having some chest pain, because of how excited I am. All this time, I believed my entire heart was getting weaker. That it was dying and, if I was lucky, might get replaced, which I was terrified of. Instead, because of a mechanical error, I should never have gotten electrocuted three times in a month and might be getting better??? It's answered prayers.

Sometimes the world is especially awesome. This is one of those times.

I really thought so. My wife and I celebrated my not getting shocked accidentally again....well into the evening. We invoked God's name on several occasions.

Anything that gets you extra... religious experiences... is okay in my book. :)

Praised grilled cheezus!

I checked Hallmark for any "I'm happy you're not getting shocked accidentally again!" cards, but they don't have any in stock :( Instead, I leave you this comment!

They're in the religious section next to "You should never have blasphemed, it's why you were struck by lightning right then."

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Oh, I get it! He is talking about sex!

YAY!!

YAY indeed. :)

That's amazing news! Congratulations on your improvement, on finding out one of your uncomfortable experiences is going to go away or become less, and the possibility of longer life thereby.

Also, "cardiologist logged into my heart using a wireless device" may be the coolest phrase in the English language after "bacon for dinner." I love living in the future.

Thank you....that kind of coolness comes with being a cyborg. Or "enhanced human" as I prefer to be called. I tried to get them to program in a way to manually accelerate my endocrine system, give me massive strength...no dice.

You're old enough to remember, so...

Do you ever "DAH-da-da-da-da-da-da" when you start doing anything physical, a la The Six Million Dollar Man?

When I pick stuff up, I sometimes go "ching ching ching ching" kids have no clue. None. Even when I try to show them Kevin Smiths new SMDM comic.

Technology is your best friend~! Congratulations, man, I'm glad everything is better than expected.

Make sure to give your nurse and doctor great big thank yous for figuring that out. (:

They were pretty proud of themselves for figuring it out. I was trying to get them to add some apps to my ICD, maybe play MP3's, give me turn-by-turn directions. No luck.

MP3 could be bad if your heart synced up with some fast paced music.

Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,

Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,

Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,

Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it

This made my day. My wife is due in 7 weeks and seeing your previous AMA conjured to mind a slew of sad possible outcomes and uncertainty about my own future. Seeing a good-news update has boosted my own confidence. I'm very happy you'll continue to be around for your family, as I hope to be for mine.

If its your first, you have many, many more panic attacks to come. Don't worry, in a few years you won't mind if the kid juggles chainsaws.

Man, you know I am ecstatic. That's so great, congratulations!

Yes, I do, Jello. It is great. My face hasn't stopped hurting from smiling so much over the last 24 hours or so.

Well don't go and die from facial cramps or something silly after all this...moderation man...even smiles!

I had a bad day.

This made me happier. I'm really happy for you and wish you and your family all the best!

I'm glad I could make your day better.

I am so happy for you. This is great news and congrats on the nookie!!

Uh, thank you? Since the first time it went off while we were...in relations, she "closed the candy shop." We had this discussion on the way to the ER. Me: "Honey, you cannot blame yourself for this. Because if you do, I will never have sex again. And I really, really like sex!" So, it was nice to see local businesses opening their doors. So to speak. Metaphorically.

So to speak. Metaphorically.

Say no more, say no more, say no more! A nudge is as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?

Well, my wife IS a goer. If ya know what I mean...

^{Say... no...} MORE!

wink wink nudge nudge

I know what you mean. When I was leaving the hospital after my heart attack last month my wife's only question about restrictions was "Is having sex OK?" :) I told her if I could handle it with multiple fractures in my pelvis a few years ago I did not think this would be a problem.

"I'm telling you I need this thing to happen, so it's going to happen." I love paraphrasing Tony Soprano.

As a 24 y/o with something wrong with his heart, I AM VERY HAPPY you have been given outstanding news. I hope you continue to get stronger!!!!

Thank you. It was because I followed my instructions, took my meds religiously, and did what they told me, which was nothing. It's been a long 5 1/2 years. If any of those things can help you, please do them. I'm proof that occasionally, doctors do know what they're doing, despite my wife's assertion that it's nurses who do all the thinking (she's a nursing student)

logged into my heart using a wireless device

brb, writing hit love song...

JoCo already wrote "Artificial Heart." so that's taken for now. :)

That is awesome! Today is NOT a good day to die!

I don't care what Klingons say...I really don't think there IS a good one.

Holy shit. I didn't comment on your previous AMA as I was feeling a little down, but fuck man. THIS MADE ME FUCKING HAPPY

Good. I'm glad.

I get the paddles once a year for a-fib at least so I hear you man. Also they wanted to put an ICD in me but it sounded like they were trying to sell me a car more then prevent failure, such a risky device to have implanted! Glad otherwise to hear your improving! Stay positive, and Cheers!

Please, consider the ICD. It's like having a paramedic in your chest. I've had mine for over five years and it's only gone off three times. Agreed, they were mistakes, but if there's any chance it could save your life...please just think about it. They were only trying to sell you on it because it's a great idea. Especially if you're needing shocked once a year.

You are an absolute champ and truly an inspiration :)

And you are one of the sweetest people I know.

Well that's bloody brilliant!

Cheers!

Congratulations!!

Thanks. We are all very happy, and hopefully, just hopefully, we will be relieved later on.

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It is awesome, isn't it?

Was it really a programming bug? Sound like a configuration bug to me - the docs just didn't configure it correctly for your particular rhythm. I don't know much about heart rhythms, but I would think a measured rate of 352 bpm would be considered a sensor error by the software.

Does it hurt when it shocks your heart? I'm in EMT training right now and we are practicing on defibrilators, and I was wondering what they feel like.

It may have been a configuration bug. I thought it might be a programming bug in that it took a baseline reading of my heart when it was first turned on, but the programming is so limited that when my heart improves, it can't recognize it as a regular rhythm?

Being shocked is exactly what you would think. It's like touching a very large battery, only the battery is inside your chest. You convulse, you blink a couple times, once it went all the way down my left arm, up into my jaw, there's a loud snap as it arcs, and things immediately start hurting. My jaw has snapped shut so quick, I was afraid I bit my tongue.

that sounds very painful and annoying. Sorry you had to go through it so many times. I don't know how it is but Its scary even when you describe it. I hope you don't have to do it anymore.

Me, too. The last time I was folding towels when it went off. I hit the floor, cursed like a sailor, and waited to see if it was going to go off again. Then I got up and went to the hospital. It feels like being in a car wreck for a while. Chest hurts, muscles ache. They gave me two whole Tylenol for the pain. Thank God I had Vicodin in my pocket (in my official House fan club container!)

As for the Nuclear Scan, are you having a procedure called a MUGA/Ventriculography study? Or perhaps a myocardial perfusion test? Regardless, If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them because I actually perform these studies. Good to hear things are looking up!

They said I would be injected with a radioactive tracer of some kind and then lie still while something spun around me? And to not go near pregnant women for 24 hours. I can't remember the name. Myocardial perfusion sounds familiar, but I watch a lot of House.

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Non-ischemic dilated cardiomyopathy. My left ventricle enlarged itself due to viral damage and could only pump 10% of its blood.

They logged onto your heart o:?

Congratz dude i read your AMA and i got really happy when i saw this post, prolly not as happy as you got, but still happy ^{^} now you'll have a chance to take your kids to the JoCo cruise (:

Also what were your first thoughts when they said they were going to log onto your heart?

I just kept repeating what they were saying slowly and shaking my head.

"So my heart had a software bug. The ICD nurse and a cardiologist logged into my heart using a wireless device... They programmed my ICD to ignore 200 milliseconds after it sees an R point, so it doesn't pay attention to the T, and counts the next R."

Holy technology! I thought we hadn't reached the age of cyborgs yet! Glad to read the good news!

It's true, but now Skynet wants me to find someone named...Sarah Conner? I don't know who that is.

Very happy to see this! Hope you have a long fulfilling life!

/does happy dance for you.

Dude, that is absolutely AWESOME. The human body is an AMAZING thing, and I'm so glad that the combination of biology and medical technology innovation has led to this for you!!!!

And pharmacology. I'm a big believer in better living through all kinds of pharmacology.

good luck to you!! Thanks for sharing!

Hooray =) Good for you!

My mother-in-law went into cardiac arrest and now is the owner of an ICD. They are pretty amazing little pieces of equipment. She has a wireless unit that sits on her nightstand and updates her doctor nightly about how her heart is doing. I guess really it will only send a signal or make a call if something bad happens.

Fucking science man. Amazing..... I wish you the best.

Mine, being five years old (only frigging five!) is obsolete and considered huge now. My device to download its information works on...no shit...dial-up.

MOM HANG UP THE PHONE I'M TRYING TO LIVE

Ma! Ma!! Best comment so far.

Screw faith healing, believe in reddit healing!

Don't forget Sexual Healing lol

Does it make me a bad person that hard on the heels of "Yay! Living!" came "Right, now I really want an update from the two redditors who got married after one of them posted a 'marry me plz for financial aid reasons' post and then did an IAmA together saying they super-clicked".

I don't know which rock I've been under, but I heard nothing about this. Do you have a link to the AMA?

The account was deleted, but FWIW here's the link

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/sl6wl

I hope this is the case! I hate seeing people give up, even when doing so is probably the best option. I'm glad to hear this!

WiFi hearts. Fuck it. We're living in the Future.