I'm Jensen Karp and Kanye West owes me $300 AMA

Is 'The Real Slim Shady' about you?

the fish in the sea line always felt personal, but I think it's a line in general about Interscope signing a few of us, especially Bubba who had a hit with Ugly right before that.

If it had come down to it, do you think you could have taken him in a battle?

he woulda had me, but I woulda got close

You seen what Bubba looks like now? Google it.

he's the man

What do you plan to do with the money when you collect? Have you thought of pressuring Mark Zuckerberg to give Kanye that money?

I'm going to buy one of his weird burlap ponchos.

You should cut out a penis hole so you never have to take it off

cuts out a penis hole immediately

Have you ever been approached to do "Drunk History"? Because a drunk hip-hop history would be amazing.

I actually think I'd suck on the show. I'd get drunk and then barf then sleep.

What am I supposed to do with this Nike Fuelband?

jerk off and brag on social media with the stats

I just ran .2 miles with my Fuelband!

shake it around and lie

You are officially my favorite person now, u/jensenkarp

hearts

Hello Reddit. I am ready to answer whatever questions you have or just willing to tell you "Fuck your dreams." Either way, happy to be here.

What was it like working with Kanye? Was his ego as big then?

Honestly, he was mostly pretty chill. I never saw a crazy "ego" per se, but he was also the kind of guy that would force a waitress to listen to him rap, even if she clearly wasn't all that into hearing him. Back then it was more of a determination than an ego. He believed he would be the biggest rapper and literally no one else did.

He had just got done reading "The Secret" huh?

would make more sense than what actually happened I bet

Did you ever vomit spaghetti on your sweater during a rap battle?

naw, but my knees were always weak.

Hey Jensen. I wonder - Is Will Smith a good rapper? Also, What about his music?

Thanks.

For those who don't know Jensen and never heard him speak - he is EASILY one of the greatest story-tellers i have ever heard. It should translate well into book form.

Will Smith WAS a good rapper, yes. His first album Rock The House is kinda the jam. And obviously Parents Just Don't Understand and Summertime. But listen, he isn't Rakim. But yes, he can rap, which is how I judge all rappers, even beyond songs. He has flow. He makes fun music and anyone judging if they think he sould've fit into the Rawkus roster is just kind of a jerk. Thank you for the kind words as well.

Do you think that, as many folks have suggested, Rakim wrote "Summertime"?

naw. they've been pretty honest about that stuff with Nas, so I assume he probably got help at times, but it always seems like he could write

I've always defended will smith as being one of the best clean rappers ever, think about it, his flow and content was on point without swearing, dropping that n bomb or any other cheesy shit. I don't know if he ever did have someone write for him but still. I put him on a level with ll cool j.

LL in his prime would eat him alive, but I mostly agree

Will you charge him interest on the $300 he owes you?

few yeezys we will call it even

Will the sock report ever come back? The podcast is incomplete without it. Also, how's Greg Escalante doing? I haven't heard much about him in a while and I thought you might know him.

Well, I have no idea who Greg is, but I do hope soon to stop by and just check in on the socks and those girls now that they have Seeso money. I assume the sock game would have to see some upgrade? Look for a cameo down the road, M'boogie.

What's your take on the whole Roman Reigns situation?

the people you "hate" make you tune in as much as the people you love. It's all business baby.

Hot Karl, can you describe the ideal Queen Bey to your Jewish Hova?

vintage Natalie Portman

I have been texted to remind people I mean Mars Attacks Portman, not child Portman. Thank you.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Leon the Professional Portman.

TOO YOUNG!

Haha! You have good friends!

Absolutely.

Hey Jensen, thanks for doing this. I'm about 1/3 thru the book already and it's got me lolling on the subway every morning/afternoon. I've been purchasing art from Gallery 1988 for years, so I'd like to know how did you get into the art curating game?

thank you so much for reading the book. When I left my rap career, I had this dough that kinda felt like blood money. I didn't want to just throw it out and buy more comic books. So, a friend I had met at USC, Katie, she worked at a stuffy art gallery in LA and the owner treated me like a piece of shit. Katie and I got to talking and realized if a gallery actually catered to our generation, people who were spending $300 on sneakers and $500 on handbags, then they'd want to hang unique cool stuff on their walls too. That's where the idea started. It's now 13 years later and that type of approach, especially focusing on pop culture, has never been done before, and now it's everywhere. We're happy about it. Thanks again.

Thank you for G1988, you guys put out a ton of great stuff (the LOST series introduced me to the whole world of screen printed posters). Between you guys and Mondo my walls are almost completely full.

Are you planning on doing another show with Mark Englert anytime soon? His 12x36 landscapes fit perfectly above my doorways (one of the few places I have left).

Katie is awesome as well, quick random story about her: A while back I had been going to a bunch of your openings when I worked up the street and bought a fair number of things, but never really hung out and got to know you guys. Anyway, I came in after several months of not dropping in and Katie said hi to my by name. Never really had a conversation, but she had checked me out a couple of times. Somehow she both recognized me from a while back and made the connection with my name. It really made me feel like I was a valued customer. I should try and make it back over for an opening again soon.

Thanks and Fight On! (fellow Trojan).

Mark lives in Poland now and keeps himself pretty busy. Not sure he's looking to take up a lot of his time for a solo, but he has an open door policy at G1988 and he knows that.

Katie is the best and has been one of my best friends for almost 15 years now.

FIGHT ON.

I know nothing about you excluding the blurb paragraph above. What would be the one thing that you would want a complete stranger to know about you?

I'm nice to animals.

If you could change one element of the Spielberg film "Hook" what would it be?

theres a shit cameo in it. That's what I would change.

Link for the curious.

(I assume this is the right scene)

UGH

fuck phil collins

THANK YOU

Hey Jensen, fuck your dreams. As a long time listener of your podcast, I feel like I kind of developed a theory and I wanted to ask you about it.

It feels like you've really sort of blown up in the last few years and have been super involved in a lot of projects I personally think are amazing (documentaries, tons of writing gigs, obviously this book). My question is, did you start to really grind harder and take on more stuff after you found out about your brain tumors? Or is that just a dumb and not true theory.

thank you for listening. I absolutely did start to try and get out there more after the tumors. I had a career based on being behind the scenes (the gallery, LOST, producing comedy) and after the tumors, I knew there were things I wanted to do and that I wouldn't hide from them anymore. The book being a big example, which is why my diagnosis is the intro. When you face your mortality, a lot of motivation suddenly appeared. Thank you again

Which other 80s/90s groups would you like to see a "Straight Outta Compton" type biopic written about? (Wu-tang, UGK, 2 Live Crew, Outkast, etc)

I wrote about this! http://thehundreds.com/blog/next-big-hip-hop-biopic/

Do you solely hate Phil Collins for his acting career, or do you hate his music as well?

listen, I hate what he did to Hook. Not even his "acting career." Just what he did to that lovable kids movie in such a short amount of time on screen. It's also affected my feelings towards his music, but I don't know what came first. A real chicken vs the egg situation.

Do you have beef with the Rosenthals? Why haven't you been on their podcast yet?

Beef season with Eric and Jeff?

no beef at all. We all are just literally doing our own shit. I've been to NY probably 6 times in the years we haven't done the show and I believe we recorded 3 of those times. Skyping that show, and ANY podcast, makes me hate the art form, but nothing but love for those guys.

Did kanye ever invite you to enjoy banana pudding with him?

Edit: for those who haven't seen, there's a video on YouTube of the dude from die antword talking about making music with kanye, only kanye was more focused on watching porn and eating banana pudding Kim made.

never banana pudding. But we did once go to a 50s diner together, which seems like a fact I shouldn't ignore.

Thanks for the reply! I think this will be a very interesting AMA. I'm interested in hearing about your book as well. Are stories about kanye going to be the main focus? What made you decide to go with that title?

its out now! Just one chapter about Kanye, the rest are chronological stories about my time in the business trying to record an album. Kanye was just one stop. The title makes me laugh and let's the audience know weird industry stories are inside.

Your last name share's its self with that of a fish. Thoughts?

fish is Carp. I am Karp. My eventual wife will make sure that distinction is understood

I heard that Kanye likes fishsticks....

heard same thing

Has kanye reached at any point during the writing or promotion process of this book?

he has not. I heard one thing second hand, but can't confirm

Big fan Jensen, how are you dealing with having so many projects while balancing your Obsessive Thoughts Disorder? Also could you talk a little bit about how Ali influenced your life?

I deal with OTD and my work load by compartmentalizing each task. I break them out time wise. I know I have 4 things to do today, so they go onto the schedule. It shows me when I'll have free time too. And then keeping track of what I am pushing off also not just letting it float around my head because that causes stress and obsession. But above all else, I treat obsession with running. It saved my life

Ali was the symbol of determination and having a voice for me. My father taught me about him at a young age and I admired what he stood for. I wanted to feel the same way about myself.

Will you ever re-release the calligraphy Fuck Your Dreams shirts?

hm. not sure. get that beef season jawn though

You from Philly?

First thing I thought too.

no but a big fan of Freeway

How in the world did you come up with "Space Invaders"? (Arguable my fav HK track.)

ha. was just a dumb story I wanted to write and I thought being raped by the alien was so NOT hip-hop that it was sort of progressive. It was also INSANE. But yeah. just the normal Fire In The Sky story, with more rape.

What happened to your contract?

I was told that Interscope could not really any of my music, after a year of recording, because of "scheduling conflicts," at that time I asked for my release. They granted it. The rumors and details are in the book and too long for this.

oldest trick in the book.

buy up the new talent that can eat into the market share of your companies existing artist(s), then force the new talent to be shelved, removing the threat to your existing artists sales and popularity.

happened to a friend of mine at Atlantic

I wouldn't be the first

what happened with your ex-girl, meghan? sounds like she wronged you hardcore.

I address this below a bit, but not my story to tell. I wish everyone the best, and telling other peoples stories never help anyone

Were there any emcees you had the opportunity to work with, but for some reason, the collab just did not happen?

I almost worked with Beanie Sigel and NORE. Those would've been awesome. Neither worked out. Also, I did end up on a remix with Mr. Eon, but back then I always wanted a song with The High & Mighty. Oh, also Mike Shinoda passed on working with me in 2000, which is so funny cause now we have a song we released last week - https://soundcloud.com/jensenkarp/like-riding-a-bike-feat-mike-shinoda-hot-karl-intuition-abnormal

Hey, I heard you on J.J. Redick's podcast. You guys mostly spoke about rap (which was cool) but I feel deprived of serious basketball conversation.

Can you make up for it by discussing your prediction of the Finals and if that has changed over the course of the series? Should Lebron be posting up more?

Warriors in 6, Cavs HAD to win one at home and honestly, the entire playoff run is lopsided cause I feel like dudes have stopped playing when they're down 20. its weird, right?

Lebron should be more aggressive, which felt right in game 3. I also continue to believe that Love should've left. He's a weird fit on the team outside of his football passes which are perfect for Lebron, but spacing wise - ehhhh.

But maybe this is my fault? http://uproxx.com/dimemag/kevin-love-lebron-james-secret-meeting/

Hey! Heard you on Hollywood Babble-On. Fun stuff! My question: being the battle-rap dude of the 2000's, what are your opinion on the battle scene as of today?

Btw, any book distrubutors in sweden or do I have to rely on internet bookshops?

I love what's happening now in battles. I mean, it's different, sure. We had to freestyle, they have weeks to write stuff. No beat also helps for punchlines. But they're all incredible writers and good showmen. It's also been WWE - esque, now they've just stepped it up to resemble. I think it's cool.

I don't know about distribution, but I was told it was going to be everywhere!

Is your life dope?

recently, yes. I've had my troubles though. But I would actually say right now - I feel my "dopest"

but do you do dope shit?

naw.

Will you admit on record that Bubba Sparxxx's first 2 albums were legit classics???

first album - good second album - GREAT

Thanks for taking the time to do this! How did the book deal come about? What was it like going through the process of publishing it?

I was given the suggestion by my manager years ago and shrugged it off, then a few things - which I mention in the book - let me start to talk about Hot Karl more, and then I finally said - OK, a book sounds fine. I wrote a proposal, an intro, 3 chapters and a plan on how to market it - and my management company sold it weeks later cause they're like business animals. Writing it was tedious, but I had a greta editor and friends to soundboard off, so it all worked out. But yeah, GRINDING.

Hey /u/jensenkarp

I only know you through your twitter. I actually had no idea you were/are(?) a rapper, or had anything to do with Gallery 1988, or wrote for the WWE(!), or had brain tumors (sorry man). What a great/crazy life!

• Will all this be in the book or is it mainly about your history being signed to Interscope?

I'll be buying the book either way tonight through Apple Books (or iBooks, whatever it's called), do you get less money that way as opposed to Amazon/book stores?

this book is actually just about my rap career. Same mind frame as everything else, but just that specific time. I don't know the difference in what I get, but I appreciate that. You get it however you want. ENJOY!

How was writing for WWE?

It was not for me. I spent 6 months there in 2005 and quit, mostly because of the travel. It also wasn't the healthiest writer's room, but it was a dream come true in many ways

Do you ever plan on dropping the details on that crazy New Clothes situation from 2013ish where you said lawyers were getting involved? I think you said you would once the hullabaloo died down a bit but then just never got around to talking about it. Can we expect a Very Special Episode any time soon with deets?

Naw, there's no need to bring others down, even with my truths. I cope in my way about it and that seems healthiest.

What movie do you consider the greatest of all-time and why is it The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas?

Listen, my favorite movie isn't much better. It's the Tom Hanks comedy The Burbs. We have Corey Feldman, Viva Rock had Stephen Baldwin. So glass houses can't throw stones.

You've gone on record saying you're not a huge fan of groups like Atmosphere on the whole. But if you had to name a handful, what "underground"/backpack/conscious/whatever rappers do you enjoy?

It's not that I don't like Atmopshere, it just never really spoke to me. I was way more into East Coast at the time I would've clung to Slug. But I liked God Likes Ugly and his appearances on other things. I mean, I've always loved RA The Rugged Man, and most of the Rawkus / Eastern Conference dudes back then (Copywrite, Cage, High and Mighty, Monch, etc). Conscious rappers? Dead Prez, Talib, PE

I randomly heard you twice in the last two days on the High and Mighty and Doughboys podcasts. I'm listening to the Yoshinoya episode as I'm typing this. Follow up... Did you shit your pants again after eating Yoshinoya? You're hilarious. You made a new fan this week.

first, thank you so much. Secondly, no, I actually had a normal experience at Yoshinoya this time around. maybe I'm immune now?

With Celebrity Rap battle doing well, are there any other writing gigs that you can speak of? Maybe a movie or something

no movies yet, but I am writing the ESPYs this year with our host John Cena and also the Alternative Press Awards in Ohio. AND, I'm on a Rob Riggle pilot talk show for TBS, which will be very exciting

What's been more fun? Your rap career or comedy? Would you fuse the two skills like lil dicky?

comedy has been way more fun. I'm 36 so Im done in the rap game, but I like what Dicky is doing, but for me, it was a better move to choose between the two

Thanks so much for doing this! What's your opinion on big white rappers these days/the cultural appropriation debates?

I think it's hard to put your foot down when it's so far gone. My entire rap career was based on being myself and NOT appropriating the culture, and honestly, it was my biggest drawback with listeners in 2000. No one was really down to hear the truth. But nowadays, there's an entire sub genre of rappers creating white pop rap. I think the lines are insanely blurred. But does it feel weird that a music born out of certain cultural limitations is now being taken in full by a different culture without much reaching back or acknowledgment? YUP.

Thanks for answering! That's really interesting, my general thoughts feel similar. Going to buy the book, can't wait to read it!

thank you!

Is Gallery 1988 gonna do anymore wrestling collections?

yup! One is coming up!

You still got that Brita?

NAW, threw that shit out. Back to the fridge door and signs of lead. FYD

Will you ever go back to rapping?

I've released a few things this month for the book, but rapping for reals? no

What is the history behind the Zsa Zsa Gabor bit?

It was born out of a twitter joke on new years like 6 years ago. Every new outlet said she was going to die, so I tweeted something about wishing her a happy last new years eve. Dumb thing. But the next year, the press said it again, so I did a different joke. Then that year she had a leg removed. And she made it to another year. And it has legit NOT STOPPED and I'm truly concerned she is immortal. And so many celebrities dying before her - IT FEELS WEIRD

I plan on going to Skylight tonight to buy your book and get it signed, but I notice that info on their site is pretty limited: do you know if I should get there like way early to line up or is it more like a chill stroll-in-whenever event? Is there a ticket or RSVP process I need? Most importantly, will MattyBoom be on hand for pictures?

Oh, that's awesome! See you there. You should be good. Get there at 7 and hang out. No ticket or RSVP. Matty will be there and he will take pictures and complain about millennials.

What was the first DVD you ever purchased?

The Game, Michael Douglas movie.

Mr. Beef Correspondant, what's your favorite celebrity beef of all time, and what beef would you like to see the most?

I love Alec Baldwin vs paparazzi. He has SOOOOO much hatred for them, he can't control himself. He goes into Beast Mode and just his tone makes me laugh. I would like to see Ron Howard beef. Someone who just seems so sweet - have him go insane one day.

If you were to be tasked with writing/producing a Broadway HipHopera in the style of Hamilton, and you could choose it to be about anyone, what underrepresented historical character would you base it on?

Honestly, Bill Clinton

Soundtrack feat Sister Souljah?

And a few Too $hort songs

Love the show, listener since day one. What do you think about the LCD Soundsystem reunion? You guys don't really go into the indie genre much anymore on the podcast.

P.S. Tell Matt I Love him and I really like the book. Proud of you man

I wasn't a huge LCD fan, but I get it. But no, I wasn't freaking. Recently I haven't been on top of it. I will tell Matty and thank you so much!

Favorite Non-De La Soul Prince Paul project: Gravediggaz, Handsome Boy Modeling School, or Stetsasonic?

GRAVEDIGGAZ IS MY FAVORITE ALBUM EVER.

I worked at a college radio station with a decent cd library in the mid-2000s and after being disappointed with RZA's Bobby Digital solo stuff, I found and played a Gravediggaz album. I can only imagine what any elderly residents of Upper Michigan thought when flipping through the channels on the radio and hearing 1-800 Suicide.

probably hit too close to home

Jensen, was Matt always one half of a man?

no, when we were younger he was 3/4

Other than me, how many people do you think have all the Hot Karl B-Sides in their iTunes Libraries? And of that group, how many, like me, have perfect tags on each track?

honestly, I would guess 20

As someone whose Twitter persona seems to often be a little bit more sardonic and acidic than the "normal" you, can you think of some examples where you've had guilt or remorse or felt you went too hard on someone trying to get a joke out? Have you ever apologized for a tweet?

I have never apologized for a tweet, but I look back with a little regret about the Chet Haze stuff. Since then, it's come out that he struggles with addiction and his mom got cancer soon after our spat. He was also a kid. I don't know, it's still funny, but it wasn't my brightest moment. I've ALSO grown up

What was your favorite moment or experience going through the process of writing a book?

I mean, I hope it's tonight. I have a release party here in LA with a lot of the people I mention in the book coming (some I haven't really seen in 10 years). Also a lot of friends from high school. It's a nice closure after thinking about all of them for 2 years while writing

Does book season marked the end of each season are we not hongry anymore?

it will definitely slow down, but we will always be HONGRY

How was working with Mike Shinoda? Dope song by the way.

we've been friends for years and grew up a town away from each other. We always knew of each other, as there were like 3 rappers total. He's just a great friend and a great collaborator. You just deliver him what you have and he makes the magic.

In your time at the WWE what was the your writing contribution that you are most proud of?

My stuff with Goldust and Snitsky. It was where I was able to work out my comedy chops and those dudes were just into being weirder and weirder. Was a blank canvas for me and that made me love the job. But that was the only thing

Was Snitsky really that creepily into feet or was that kayfabe?

he was into feet!

On a personal level, what is your favorite movie of all time?

my favorite movie is The Burbs

Who made the original "SFV" beat? That track goes.

The original was by a guy named Space Boy Boogie X. He also did Caliente Karlito. Dude was from the valley and came up with Styles of Beyond. He could also rap. Yeah, dude had bangers.

Did you ever smash Lexi Belle?!

no I never smashed my cousin

So 17 seconds of googling reveals you claim he owes you $300 for a car you got for him for a ride home one night.

What attempts in the following days did you make to get your $300?

Why didn't you just tack it onto his studio bill?

Why haven't you taken him to small claims court?

also google where to buy the book

In other words, pay for my answers because apparently I don't really want people to ask me anything. I just want the shameless promotion.

I've literally responded to everything. Ask me a question Steve

Are your hands sore from desperately holding onto Kanye's coattails as you milk this tiny event?

no, not sore. but I do think it's adorable you think I billed him.