IamA: I was a nurse at a maximum security prison! AMA!

I worked for 9 years in a federal prison and I have to say that this sounds like completely made up bullshit. None of these answers sound remotely like a medical professional, or anyone else for that matter, working in a correctional institution. Frankly, it sounds like someone watched "The Green Mile", "Shawshank Redemption" and other fake media portrayals of prison and then tried to bluff their way through an AMA.

Well spotted. "Sorry, i am not that tech savvy?"
Screen name is an obscure, 5 year old internet meme appended by "666." Doesn't exactly sound like a 60something retiree nurse.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-like-turtles
Edit for clicking on username: Apparently granny nurse likes skateboarding a lot. Yeah, gonna call some bullshit on this one.

and granny nurses go to hooters, listen to dubstep, and play tf2

"This is her nephew answering questions shes sitting next to me!"

And here she was soliciting advice on her wrestling technique. What a beast:

http://www.reddit.com/r/wrestling/comments/14j1ik/first_match_and_pin_pretty_excited_things_to_fix/

"This is her nephew answering questions shes sitting next to me!"

Sorry you feel that way, She's really worried about her personal information being out on the internet and the gangs tracking her. I tried to get her to answer the questions in more detail but she just gave me vague summaries of them.

She has a key ring with her first letter of her first name and her last name she used to exchange to get keys. Would it make you feel better if I uploaded a picture of that?

Did you have any really nerve racking experiences? If so what?

Well, one day I responded to a riot with multiple rival gangs and got accidentally sprayed with prison grade riot spray. Saw a lot of wounds from prison shanks and shivs and homemade spears.

Wait when you say spears do you mean like an actual 5ft spear?

Well usually they would take old wood scraps and scrape them into sharp pointed spears.

How much did the inmates try come onto you?

Never, I never felt like they were to me...I was in my 50s.

Com'on in a prison environment they would bang every thing that moves.

I'm sure they would take one of the younger nurses for me any day. ;-). We actually had a couple of people fired for having affairs with inmates. We called it the walk of shame.

How do you deal with the ammount of BS or minor complaints that sent in? Do you get frustrated when inmates play games with their medications (take them intermittently, or cheek them)?

Well most would cheek them to give them to higher level inmates that wanted pills. Some got real good at it.

What is the strangest thing you've ever come across while dealing with an inmate? Something inside the inmate, something the inmate did to end up in the hospital/ clinic, ect.

I'll have to think about this one Ill edit it later, too many to think of one now.

Where was this? In the U.S.? How old are you now?

In the U.S, I don't feel comfortable posting about my age. Sorry guys she not very tech savy.

Did prisoners injure themselves intentionally in order to be prescribed painkillers?

I think they liked to come into the clinic just to have something to do at times. Alot of them when they got injured in order to avoid snitching would say they were playing football.

Did you meet any prisoners you got along well with? Any that were really difficult to deal with?

Did the guards limit how much time you could spend treating them? I've heard in some prisons they're really hardcore about making sure medical treatment isn't a treat for the prisoners.

Why did you quit?

What are you doing now? (That's a bit personal. Obviously you don't have to answer.)

Edit: One more question - Any comment on psychiatric care in prison?

Well, most of the prisoners were respectful and we weren't allowed to talk to them much.

No limits but it had to be a no bs thing. Like in and out no small talk nothing.

Wasn't the job for me.

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I'm a nurse and I think I'd be interested in doing something like this. How did you get started? Do you need any special qualifications? When you say you quit because of the environment, from the inmates, the staff, or both? Thanks!

I quite because of both it just wasn't for me. You have to take a test with the state, and need a year or more of experience in a clinic setting and then you apply with the state. You take the test online they ask you a lot of questions and then you fill out a huge application, which can take months for them to get back to you.

Have you ever had to remove something from a inmate's anus?

Nope. Thank goodness though! I have had to stitch someones anus though.

Have you ran into any ex-prisoners outside of prison? If so, did they recognise you?

We had to take an oath saying if we ever saw a prisoner we would immediately turn the other way. But so far never seen an inmate. Most I dealt with were on life or extremely large sentences.

why is every answer you're giving getting downvoted?

They think its fake, whatever hivemind haha.

On a normal non-incident day, is the prision fairly calm and humain or is it caos all the time?

Really, they were no non-innocent days. Something crazy was always happening.

Being at a maximum security prison with the worst of criminals. How safe did you feel whilst working, how scary was it?

For some odd reason some of the prisoners liked me. I only felt scared when the rights happened. Funny story time:

We had a call in one of the facility and I am walking down there, and I hear someone shouting at me and another prisoner yells back, "Have some respect!"

On average, how are the prisoners? Are they polite and nice, or rude and acting so tough and badass?

Usually polite and nice.

How does your scope of practice compare to that of a nurse in a hospital? Do you have more standing orders? Is there a doctor on call or present at the prison with you to write/give orders?

We were more like trauma people, we would go down and see the prisoners injury's and deal with them before anyone else.

Are std's a big issue in the prison setting? Are there alot of new cases or outbreaks that would occur?

HUGE issue. Tons of people had aids. Lots of people had hepatitis. Each pill the aids guys would have to take would be around 600$, and sometimes the would just chew it up and spit it out, kind of a shame to watch.

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Sorry you feel that way!

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No, because some of the prisoners who were on hit-lists or child molesters and rapist would ask to be put in there in order for protection. The ones that were in there definitely needed to be isolated because they were a danger to people in the yard.

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That was our protective custody.