I am comedian Ari Shaffir, ask me anything.

Did Rogan ask you to do an AMA today because he's used to having his friends open for him?

Hahahahaa

I work for the TSA and I swear to god my finger will go up your ass one day.

I'm sure it will. Everyone who works for that bureaucracy will eventually be tempted to abuse their privileges when they realize how nearly impossible it is to lose their jobs.

For anyone who wants to hear my opinions on the TSA in a well spoken manner and in a funny setting, here is the podcast I did on it with Duncan Trussell. It gets going on the subject maybe halfway or a thirdway into the conversation.

http://duncantrussell.com/ari-shaffir-in-no-fly-list/

Here's my Shroomfest Primer. It's available for anyone who is thinking about taking mushrooms but has questions. It covers everything I think anyone would want to know.

http://www.arishaffir.com/shroomfestprimer/

Enjoy and have a good trip.

And share that with people. Let everyone get the experience.

Hi Ari, I've been looking forward to the AMA, even though the US-Australia time difference is a bitch (it's 4:45am).

I've heard Joe Rogan mention once or twice about a salvia trip you had in which you experienced an alternate life for quite an extensive period. I was fascinated by the tale, but have never been able to find anything more than Joe's quick mentioning of it. What happened in this alternate life? How long did it last for? What happened when you came down off the trip? Is this an experience you're willing to elaborate on for us?

Thanks

This is all on film on a Naughty Show podcast from the old Deathsquad studio at Redban's apartment. It's on Deathsquad.tv.

What happened was, I took a hit of salvia but I didn't quite take a big enough hit or I didn't hold it long enough. So it took me right to the edge of disappearing into my mind, but didn't quite get me through the barrier. So I took another hit. This time, the hit was as big as I could physically muster. It was massive. And I held it for a really long time. That hit alone would have been enough to make me obliterate my consciousness. But that hit, coupled with the one from before that got me ALMOST there put me in another place.

I was in a lake in the backyard of my childhood home. But I wasn't me swimming there. I was a new being, who lived under the water. It took me a little bit of time to learn how to breath water but then I learned. And I was there for a while. I mean, like, months. At least. I estimate I was there anywhere from 4 months to 2 years. I made friends. I had a life. All underwater.

At some point in my new life, I saw Sam Tripoli at the shore of the lake so I swam up to him to investigate (he was just sitting in the chair across from me in reality). That's when they started pulling me back into this existence. But what they didn't know was that I couldn't breath air any more. I had forgotten how after breathing underwater for so long.

I had to relearn the experience of breathing.

Man, that was a good trip. It looked hellish if you watch the video but what's important to understand is that the hellish part was me not wanting to leave my friends, family and life in the lake. It was just adjusting back to this reality that hurt. But the months or years I was living there were some of the most beautiful and peaceful of my life.

It's kind of like that Star Trek movie where Kirk is still alive and he had been in some dimension where all your dreams come true for all moments of every day and you live outside time. And then Picard came and got him out of there and he couldn't stand to live in the world for a while. But it wasn't that bad for me.

you make me want to do drugs

Then you should do them.

Also, tell me if I'm doing this right. Should I be giving shorter or longer answers? Should I (and can I) respond to responses on my responses? Anything I should know.

Do you ever get tired of Rogan talking about aliens and Bigfoot?

Fuck yes. All the time. All of us do.

If you think you've heard it too much, imagine what 10 years of normal conversations about it would do to you.

Uch, I'm tuning out just thinking about it.

Some announcements before I go.

My storyteller show, This Is Not Happening, is taping 2 shows from Cheetahs on Hollywood and Vermont on April 9th for Comedy Central digital. 7:30 and 9:30 shows.

My special is available at http://chill.com/ari

My podcast, "Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank" is available at iTunes, Stitcher, Soundclout or on http://arithegreat.com

My sports podcast, "Punch Drunk" is available on iTunes or live at http://thejointstudios.com every Tuesday noon-2 PST. Call in.

I'm doing a talk for new comedians at the Comedy Store on April 7th at 3pm. Come with any questions you don't understand about the business. I'll give everyone the real information with no posturing and no lies about stuff I don't understand. It's all the things I wish someone would have told us when we started but no one ever did. It's free. I'm only doing it for the sake of comedy.

All my tour dates are available at http://arishaffir.com/tour

You mentioned (either on Duncan Trussell's or Rogan's podcast) that you had been using psilocybin in low doses, regularly, and that you found it more beneficial than big mushroom trips. Would you care to share any insights or noticeable benefits that you have gained from this?

Regularly doesn't mean daily or anything. I mean I take mushrooms a few times a year. Last year was a lot. Probably 5 or 6 times. At a UFC, at a show in Montreal, at a party in Montreal, camping in the woods, at a friend's house, and at the beach.

They're great for centering yourself.

Mushrooms help (me, at least) look at myself from an outside perspective. So I can analyze my actions and be properly critical of them without worrying about the negatives that come with critique.

They help me be more empathetic to most humans.

They also help me laugh and laugh and laugh. Everyone is worried about finding that super spiritual journey and realizations on mushrooms, but those trips are more rare. Even if you don't get one of those on any given trip, there's still the super fun time that shrooms will give you. I recommend them to everyone.

And if you're worried about bad trips, just know that they only last 5 or 6 hours and then you'll be fine, so the risk isn't even that bad.

Do shrooms.

I'm the same way. I have to do it at least once or twice a year just to keep my shit straight. How do you function at public events? I usually do them with a few friends privately or at music festivals.

Music festivals ARE public events.

It's fine. Most people don't even consider that someone around them could be on mushrooms so they, at worst, think you're weird.

As long as people don't know I'm on them, I LOVE being around people and observing.

Oh, I know what micro doses means now.

Duncan was taking MASSIVE doses regularly and found the fun starting to wane. When we took some for a UFC in Calgary he limited his intake for the first time in a while and just got a base going and then ate a cap or stem every 20 or 30 minutes to keep the buzz going. I think he found that method way more enjoyable and forgot that he could even have done that.

It's like not drinking 8 shots of whisky but instead drinking 2 shots, then sipping a beer every 45 minutes to keep a buzz going. This is also a good way to do shrooms. You don't have to get obliterated on every drug every time.

And how much do these micro doses weigh?

They're not really micro doses. I do a couple grams to an eighth of dried shrooms when I'm looking to trip.

I only do smaller doses when full doses aren't available.

On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 = best), How does Natasha Leggero rate in the sack?

P.S. - I bought Passive Agressive! - it's awesome!

She was great. Zero complaints about that. She should be proud of everything she does in that department.

That's as much as I'll give you on that subject.

And thanks for getting the special. Only 5.9999999 billion people left.

I really just have two questions:

1.) How many times have people tried stabbing or physically harming you since doing the 'Amazing Racist'?

2.) How's your weird jew clam ass doing? (NSFW source: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=aa3_1195191719)

Nobody ever tried physically harming me as a result of watching the Amazing Racist. I had some physical altercations during the making of them, but never as a response.

Although, man, did I get a lot of death threats on YouTube comments, direct messages on Myspace (they've been around a while), Facebook, and even on my old home phone line. Somebody else has that number now and I know they're getting cranked constantly and I feel bad for them.

And my ass is fine. Those hemorrhoids go away 10-15 minutes later and they don't inflame very often. But, man! They look crazy!

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but... come on. All that bullshit that President Bush had you say to the White House press corps... you knew it was bullshit. You must have known it was bullshit. Why did you do it?

Haha. I'm so apolitical, I don't even know who you're talking about. Someone that looks like me? Some other Jew?

I'm talking to Duncan. I'll be back in 5 minutes.

What's it like being an introvert and having strangers know almost everything about you, and they want to talk to you all the time?

Uncomfortable. I'm not like Kreischer. I don't party hard. People like me prefer quiet scenarios or deep conversation about something they're interested in over loud places and lots of small talk.

But people knowing about me has sort of given me access to some of those deeper conversations. As people are aware of what I'm into, they bring those subjects up if they're interested as well. So I'm rarely talking about the weather with people who really know me. Unless it's super cold. Fuck that.

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Hahaha. I don't know. I never see him, I guess. I do a topic based podcast so I'm more interested in things to talk about then people to talk with. What should I have him on to talk about? Besides hating Brendon Walsh. What does Dave Anthony have some sort of expertise on, or first hand knowledge of that would make me want to find out about a life experience from him? I'm open to anything.

How much of a problem was Mencia at the Store back in the day? Were you nervous joining with Joe in outing him, It seems like a lot of people were nervous about that.

I'd love to hear a little backround on that situation.

He was a big problem. High level guys (I don't want to indict anyone else here) were refusing to go on when he was around. Low level guys had no choice but to perform because they needed the stage time so badly.

Freddy Soto (who passed away) saw a promo for Mencia's show when it was new and 3 of the 5 bits they used were Freddy's. He was crying over it and the lack of recourse he had. Literally crying. From seeing the material he struggled to write and perfect being used on Comedy Central's website as belonging to another comedian.

I won't perform when he's around. It's not even his fault. It's like leaving beers around a junkie. You think he's not going to steal one of your beers when you go to the bathroom? That's just his nature.

People weren't nervous about outing him, they were nervous about suddenly going on the record on video without having time to consider their actions and words. He had been outed among standups for years. Everybody knew he was a problem, but there wasn't anything the people profiting from him would do.

A few people, like Mike Lacey, at the Comedy and Magic Club wouldn't let Mencia go there. But most clubs didn't get involved. Comedy Central, who makes their living off comedians, refused to cancel that show because they already had shot episodes and they couldn't eat that nut. And then they picked it up for another season because they don't respect the art form. They were very aware and clear on the issue but they chose to continue to put on what was making them money.

I had a friend from Comedy Central call me to tell me when Mind of Mencia had been cancelled. He was bragging about it as if they had stood up for justice. I rejected that immediately and said that they had their chance to stand up for comedians 2 years earlier but had gone for the money. Canceling the show because of bad ratings has nothing to do with honoring the craft.

So, comics had no one to turn to. Here was a person victimizing them whenever he could. Literally, hundreds, if not thousands of jokes were lifted from other comedians. So, much like segregation in the south, you just learn to live with the negative. And the Rogan Parks found a moment and Redban was there to record and something could finally be done about it.

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Shroomfest is JUNE 22, 23 and 24, 2013. Not July. It changes dates every year. Part of the Mat Edgar clause.

It takes place on the Sat-Mon over the summer (not including early September) that has the most moonlight. This year it's that weekend.

"2014 Shroomfest is August 9, 10, & 11. 2015 Shroomfest is August 29. 30, & 31. 2016 Shroomfest is June 18, 19, & 20. If the full moon is on a Saturday or Sunday night, that’s ideal."

That's an excerpt from my Shroomfest Primer which I recommend anyone who is thinking about taking shrooms read.

http://www.arishaffir.com/shroomfestprimer/

wow, i just read your shroomfest primer and it's amazing. really good information in there, especially for someone who has never shroomed or is thinking about trying it. i almost feel like this should be linked in the sidebar over on /r/drugs

Do it. Link away. That primer is for the people.

Hey Ari, I just want to thank you a show in Seattle and one in Toronto where you crushed, and with almost all new material, it's pretty awesome to see you doing well. 2 things for you:

1) Man, your interview style really allows people to let their guard down. For example in that episode with the girl who's friend committed suicide, you asked honest but straightforward questions which was all I wanted to hear. I hope you keep this up becuase it makes for very interesting conversations, especially the more serious episodes.

2) Can you guys put the new episodes of Punch Drunk up on Soundcloud or something. Usually i don't like suggesting to people how to run things, but sports is a time sensitive thing and I think a lot of people want to hear you guys chat about ASAP. Just a suggestion. Thanks man, keep making comedy a better place!

The new episodes of Punch Drunk ARE on Soundcloud. They feed from there to iTunes and soon they'll feed to Stitcher. We're also going to fix the ad popups that are on our new live feed on TheJointStudios.com. It's a new studio and a new feed but we'll work the kinks out as we go. It's a fun podcast and Brody Stevens is sitting in for Sam Tripoli this week to talk about being our spring training correspondent.

For a second podcast, it's a lot of fun.

What did you mean by your first sentence? I don't get it.

Ahh I just meant yesterdays episode, couldn't find it.

The first sentence wasn't so much of a question than an observation. It's just the style you seem to have when you are interviewing people allows for some pretty insightful answers. If you see sometimes on Joe's podcast people are a bit defensive to let their opinions out, because he can be intimidating (Not hating, that's his personality). It seems like you are genuinely trying to get to the guests truthful feelings. The example being like you straight up asked the girl how she feels right now after the suicide, that's a pretty ballsy question, but you worded it in a way that allowed her to open up. You also ask some pretty tough questions of other guests, i.e. your dad and Brody. I think it may because you are pretty honest about your own decisions and actions, it allows them to open up more than usual.

I also see a lot of your humour revolves around "why can't people just be honest with everyone/them self". If you want to pay this 2$, Sam Harris has an amazing essay on why the world would be better off if everyone told the unconditional truth. Because you also seem very lazy, here is the link: http://www.samharris.org/lying

*Edit: His second response was in reference to a Vaginal Grenade joke i was looking to hear again.

Thanks. I'll look at that when I'm done here.

Yeah, complete openness and honesty is the way I'm going. Then there's no worry about judgement.

Anything I did in my past that I feel bad about is faced and changed in me. Anything that I feel bad about now, I either stop doing because I have to admit it, or I learn to not feel bad about it and I keep doing it. Hiding from who you are doesn't help you. Learning about your desires does.

I think that joke was on my CD, Revenge for the Holocaust. (which you can get a signed hardcopy of for $20 and free shipping along with my special right now at Chill.com/ari. That's 20 bucks for a CD and a digital special. Completely different material on each.

Actually, can someone tell me if this is true? Has someone listened to my album that can tell me?

No, it is true. I remember now. It's part of my stuff about how I like dating younger women.

What are your favorite strains of medical cannabis?

Maui Wowie is consistently amazing. If some comes available where you are (and hopefully it's actually the strain and not some dealer just making up a name) get some.

My friend's OG Kush is my favorite for giggles and hanging out with friends. It's now being sold as Deathsquad OG by LA Speed Weed. When he works hard and puts out a good batch, it's amazing. That's what kept the Monsters of Comedy tour going when we were at each other's throat. That OG Kush from my friend.

There are others but those always do me well.

Did you do this on the same day as Joe on purpose?

Ha. No, I had it planned for weeks. This was just a coincidence. We had the same podcast guest on Monday, too. Also a coincidence.

Joe was asked last week on twitter, Ari had it planned for a few weeks. Pretty funny Imo, now we just need Joey Diaz & Duncan.

Diaz will never do it. Too much typing. Duncan would and I'm sure will.

You've heard you admit that your success is due to Rogan's podcast and I have to wonder if any part of you resents that? Although your standup is obviously strong, do you resent that it took someone else to give you your break? Is that part of the reason for your departure from LA, to make it on your in a way? This isn't to take away from your skills at all, just wonder if you prefer to be out of the 'Deathsquad' cloud in a way.

Also, 2012 sucked for me. A lot of death, things out of my control, etc. getting high with you at Portland Helium was my highlight.

No on the resentment. It seems to ALWAYS take someone else to give you your break. Dangerfield put Kinison on HBO, Carson broke a ton of comics, some casting director puts people in shows.

If anything, I'm a bit scared of what happens if something happens to the podcast, or me being on it, and how that popularity could be fleeting.

That's why I'm writing so much material now. I want my draw to be less dependent on one source. Because one source draw is susceptible to that draw ending. I want new fans to be fans of me regardless of my associations with anyone else.

But no, I love the help that Rogan's podcast has given me. So does he, by the way. He's super joyful of the bump in draw for me that he's helped cultivate.

I took a girl to see you the last time you were in Dallas and she said you probably an English major when you were in college and he could tell by the way you formed your sentences. Is this true?

Also, the show was great. I can't wait until you come back.

I was an English major. Good call.

Do you prefer the word "taint" or "gooch" to describe the vacant lot betwee your yam sac and your mud hole?

taint. Gooch isn't as clear for everyone to know what you're talking about.

1. Have you moved to Brooklyn yet?

2. Are you going to be a regular in the city from now on?

3. What made you decide to move there?

Love the new special and skeptic tank is the shit!

Thanks for watching the special. I'm really happy with how it came out and I want people to watch it more than anything. If you've already bought it, use your extra downloads to send to friends so they can watch it.

1. I haven't moved to Brooklyn, nor am I going to. I'm moving to Manhattan and I already found a place. I'm going to be there either starting the 16th of April or the 4th or 10th of May depending on a few west coast gigs and responsibilities before then

2. I AM going to be a regular in the city from now on. I'm really excited about that.

3. I just want to try new stages. It's really becoming all about standup for me lately and I can get up more often when I'm in New York (at least that's the plan) and I can get new stimuli and perform for new crowds night after night. I love the Comedy Store in LA but after a while, it's the same type of crowd night to night and I want to grow as much as possible. And nothing is better for growth than change.

does this mean you will no longer be on the JRE?

I'll still be on there. When I visit LA. But way less. That's one of the negatives about moving, definitely.

Maybe we can do some from hotel rooms every once in a while when we go to UFCs together and then he can upload them later. No video, but it'll be better than nothing.

What is your favorite pizza topping, and how many abortions have you funded?

Funded 1 and got out of funding another.

And pizza depends on the mood.

Has your frequency of masturbation increased or decreased with age?

Decreased. I get tired now more and just want to sleep. Waking up with an unused cum rag in my bed is a sure sign of age.

for the last 2 CD's, your closing jokes have been shit jokes. and not just any shit jokes, very descriptive and picturesque shit jokes. is this a trend you plan on keeping? do you purposely fuck with your bowels to get yourself into situations like these? did bobby lee ever forgive you?

Haha. Bobby HAS forgiven me. If you don't know what he's talking about, it's the last bit on my special.

And, no, I don't purposely fuck with my bowels to get into these situations. Australia was the only situation I couldn't get out of (the final story off the CD). The Bobby situation wasn't because of a fucked up rectum. It was because I enjoy revenge and I am a man of honor. Like John Stark but with poop instead of swords.

Have you fucked another guys girlfriend/wife?

Will you do it again or was it too weird?

I have and I will again. I'm good at compartmentalizing and their relationship with another person has nothing to do with me and doesn't even interest me. It's like worrying about if a single woman lied to her female friend to get out of their movie night to come bone. What do I care?

How much new material do you have worked out since PA?

I got probably 20-25 new minutes since Passive Aggressive was recorded at the end of December. And then there is one bit about mushrooms at a UFC that wasn't ready to record and a story about a friend from high school asking me for help winning tickets to the Super Bowl that had to be cut from Passive Aggressive completely because it was already too long and I fucked up a middle part.

You let me and my friend in at Chicago, even though my friend forgot his ID, I'll never forget that! Thanks man!!

You're welcome. I'm a man of the people.

What did you think about the movie Zombieland?

Loved it. Had a girl pass out in front of me after we got concessions from two hits of weed.

1. When you decide to try out a new joke, are you pretty sure it's gonna be funny, or do you progressively make it funnier as you use it more often?
2. What's the hardest you've ever bombed?

progressively funnier.

And I bombed once in front of a girl I was supposed to sleep with. That set us back 6 months and we never ended up doing it.

Hey Ari

Just got your special can't wait to watch!

I seen you in Chicago with Joey Diaz and Front Row with Joe Rogan, you were fucking hilarious.

What books would you recommend?

Have you tried DMT?

What other drug insight do you have to share?

I was proud of myself for doing all different material in those 2 Chicago shows. I did almost 50 minutes with Diaz and then on the way home I made a list of what I did and planned to do only different stuff for when I opened for Rogan a few months later. Thanks for coming to both. Isn't live standup just the greatest thing in the world to watch? Man, it's fun.

The Road. (really dark)

Quiet by Susan Cain about introverts

Catcher in the Rye and Franny & Zooey and 9 Stories

The Stranger by Albert Camus. Really incapsulates the existential ideals in novel form.

And for comics, I'm Dying Up Here about the Comedy Store strike of the late 70s or early 80s. Marc Maron loaned me a copy and I read it in no time. Then I bought a copy for the phone room at the Store because I think all those guys should read it to see the history of the place.

I used to be a phone guy.

How much do you think your introversion lends itself to your creativity?

It helps me observe instead of live in moments. That helps me express my feelings about those moments which is what creativity is all about. So maybe a lot. But if I were the opposite, I don't know what it would do to me.

Why did you walk away from religion?

Because I didn't believe in God.

No question, but I just wanted to say I loved Passive Agressive (saw the taping live, first show) and listen to the Skeptic Tank every week. Thanks for the many hours of free entertainment!

Thanks. Tell your friends to get Passive Aggressive or share it with them. I want everyone to see it.

And thanks for coming to the show! Those crowds were great and really helped put me in a place to perform the set I wanted to.

If you haven't gotten it yet, it's only $4.99 on Chill.com/ari and you can get limited edition signed posters of the special and tee shirts and grinders and stuff along with it. They're not charging for shipping so take advantage of that, especially if you're in another country. But really anybody. Free shipping is sweet. I don't do that on my own website merch.

What is one of the best stories you have about Joey Diaz? Everything he says or does is gold.

Also have you got in trouble for the hunt for the edible yet? If not we need to make this a trend at events worldwide.

I've gotten in trouble, but never lasting trouble. I talked about it once on one of my podcasts and one of Rogan's. It was at the Mall of America. Rick Bronson, the owner of the club, got me out of it.

What's the highest you have ever been?

There are a few times I can remember being SUPER high.

The first and second times I went to Clandestiny in Toronto. God damn, that place gets your ripped. Tons of weed in a giant hot box.

And then at SXSW 2 years ago, I had jolly ranchers from Zen dispensary on Santa Monica right when they came out and were at their most powerful. My friends Alf Lamont and Nic Adler split one and each had to call it a night because they were too high. My friend Justin Martindale took a whole one and had to be talked out of checking himself into the hospital. And I took two of them (because I didn't trust that little jolly rancher sized pot candy could get me really high) and I got so bonkers. I watched Short Circuit at Allison Dynamite's house and laughed so hard. I just couldn't stop laughing.

Did you know that the Indian guy from Short Circuit isn't even Indian. It's Fisher Stevens in makeup. And all he does is do a think Indian accent and make fun of Indians the whole time. It's so racist! But nobody gave a shit about Indians back then so who cares?

Man, I laughed hard at that. For, like, 4 hours. And then we made french bread pizza and I killed those and then I'm pretty sure we had sex. What a great night that was.

How many of your podcast guests have you slept with?

Let me think. 1, 2, maybe just 2. The introvert and the artist. Oh, no. Also the shock therapy girl. So 3. Unless I'm forgetting anyone.

when is the next hunt for the edible at mall of america?

Hahah. Probably not for a while. If I do it in Minnesota again, it'll have to be around the city.

Any tips for picking up a JAP?

$$$$$$

Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

What's the environment? Inside or outside? All this matters. Is the duck-horse mad at me? Details, bro.

Ari, how good did it feel to beat Bobby Lee's ass at the time of the incident. Now that it's cool between you guys answer it honestly.

EDIT: I'm really high

It felt SO GOOD. Like a weight was lifted off of me. So freeing.

Dont mean to be the party pooper but you mentioned on a few podcasts that you had been depressed for a while. What was turning point for you and are you feeling better now? Great show in Vancouver btw (wanted to say hi but I was way too sober and shy) and Im a big fan of the skeptic tank and passive aggressive.

Pills. Really pills was the answer. For me it was desipramine. Everyone's chemistry is different, though, and what works for me can be damaging for others and vice versa.

Mushrooms helped me rebuild what depression had destroyed.

Just wanted to comment that I think you're funny but you come off like an asshole most of the time you're not on stage. Are you an asshole?

Just quiet.

i live in austin, next time you come to town what are the chances i'll get to smoke with you at some point?

People ask me this a lot. The answer is "really good."

All you gotta do is wait until I'm done with the meet and greet/merch and then wait outside by the door. And then you have to light it up and pass it. That's it. I'm not buji (or however you spell that).

It'll help if you say, "Hey, I'll be outside with a j if you want to smoke when you're done saying goodbye to people."

I like pot, it's not that hard.

Ari! I bought your special and my gf and I nearly died laughing. It came at a time when I really needed it. So, thank you man.

How did you survive in the beginning? Did you have some help from family? Did you bum on couches? Did you ever feel guilty while chasing your dream, while still getting help from others? If so, how did you deal with that and keep your headspace positive?

I'm just curious, because so many comedians talk about what it was like to be broke, then what it was like to be successful... but not a whole lot about the emotional rollercoaster and second guessing of the self that happens in between... Like, how many nights did you ask yourself what the fuck you were doing... and what allowed you to fight that down, hone your craft, and make it to the finish line?

You're funny as fuck dude. Keep being awesome. :)

A lot of comics were REALLY poor for a while. I'm gonna do a podcast about it with Rannazzisi, David Taylor and Steve Simeone when Rannazzisi is back in town and I am too.

I never couch surfed. I came to LA with 10 grand saved up. So I lived in cheap places for a while. My first place was $450 a month and I ate mostly pasta and peanut butter sandwiches and McDonald's hamburgers for a few years. It was easier to do when I was younger.

Thanks for watching the special. I'm actually really proud of it.

My parents paid for my insurance, probably because they know I wouldn't have gotten it myself. And we were able to keep me on their car insurance for the first couple years until State Farm realized i was in LA and took that away.

A lot of people felt guilty about the help they got. This went back to college with the people who didn't have to pay their own tuition. But you should be happy that you have someone who wants to help you. They worked hard so you can take it a little easier. Fucking use that.

Hey Ari, with the new way you released you're special, are you close to making your money back/profiting yet? Also, how did you go about quitting smoking cigarettes?

I haven't quite made the money back yet, which is why I'd like everyone to go get it (along with maybe a piece or two of merch) at chill.com/ari right now. As long as I can make the money back, chill will continue doing these specials with me. It really does allow comedy fans to decide what specials get made. If people don't support this, I won't be able to make more comedy for the people. If they do support it, I will reward that support with more, very affordable, comedy.

I once quit cigarettes out of spite. I was mad at Redban in Austin and I didn't want to smoke with him and then I had 3 days and just ran from there. Spite is a powerful tool that you can use to your advantage if you can harness it right.

Hey ari, I'm a 17 year old white girl from Saskatchewan and I wanted to say just how fucking awesome you are, I was wondering when you started to do shrooms? Have you reached a point where it stops being beneficial? I have a variety of weird mental illnesses that I'm not sure I believe are all that valid and are just an issue of circumstance and my attitude, but I don't want to self medicate with psychedelics to a point where it stops helping me. I heard you talking on Duncan's podcast about being really depressed and shrooms helping you pull yourself out of it. Do you find that doing them still gives you better insight on your life or is it all relative to your circumstance?

I think every year is a good minimum to do mushrooms. They might help with your mental illnesses. They really might. Or they might not.

My advice to you, with limited information, is to find some good friends and take them this summer away from people or danger. Canada in the summer is made for mushrooms. If it's not nice enough during shroomfest, choose another day when you have nothing to be responsible for.

I saw you in Minneapolis and you killed it. So fantastic live and a nice fucking dude. What is your favorite club to perform at?

Again, I hate the word 'favorite' but here are 5 that I really love.

The Original Room at the Comedy Store Cap City Comedy Club in Austin Clandestiny (Underground Comedy Club) in Toronto The DC Improv The Comedy Works in Denver (where I recorded Revenge for the Holocaust)

Hey Ari,

I wanted to let you know that of the Comedians I've seen live in my lifetime, you have by far made me laugh the most. I saw you at the Toronto JFL thing this past year, you fucking killed. I bought Passive Aggressive right when it came out. I know it was the same set I saw in Toronto, but I still couldn't help laughing my ass off even when I knew what was coming.

All that being said, my favourite bit I've seen of yours done was the 7 minute shit joke. I have to know, is this story something that really happened? If it was, the Scottish dude deserves a medal, if it wasn't you deserve a medal for being one imaginative motherfucker.

Also, I took a picture with you after the show in Toronto and you looked terrified. My girlfriend thought it was because I looked like a fat hitler youth, think that's the reason? Link

I was just smiling. I'm uncomfortable posing for pictures.

The 7 minute shit joke, which on Revenge for the Holocaust is named the 13 Minute Shit Joke was from when I went to Sydney with Joe Rogan for the UFC 127. I decided it wasn't a great card and when am I going to be in Sydney ever again so I went to the zoo and for a walk on the Sydney Harbor bridge. That was probably a mistake.

The Scottish guy is real and there's a picture somewhere of the whole group right at the top when I had already cleaned a lot of the shit out of my pants. I have it on my microwave. If I could post pictures here, I'd show you that guy.

If you like the version from that youTube clip, you should get the full version from my CD, Revenge for the Holocaust.

Can you come back to calgary and stop the edmonton routine?

I'll be back to Calgary in September, I think.

I listen to YKWD podcast by Robert Kelly who's out there in Manhattan, every listened to it? Been a guest on there before? If not you should get on there it'd be cool.

I did a two parter with him from the Ottawa Bluesfest a few years ago.

Hi Ari,

My question for you is: Do you think psychedelic drugs are for everyone? The reason I am asking you this is the following: Even though I had decided for myself that I would never try psychedelics again, listening to your podcast has made me want to give mushrooms a try. I've tried both truffels and LSD in the past, one time each. I didn't enjoy either of them. The thing is that both experiences weren't exactly in the best of circumstances. The time I tried truffels I had a serious fight with my girfriend and she was sending me spiteful and emotional texts during the trip. The time I tried LSD I had also just taken a strong extacy pill and was on the camping terrain of a major festival. The commotion was a bit much for me. My other isssue with these kind of drugs is that I have a problem letting go, and always seem to end up fighting the rush and trying to maintain control. This is a part of my personality. I have very low self esteem, which I project on other people. With other words, even though I have a lot of friends, I constantly think everyone is going to think I am a loser if I slip in even the slightest of ways. So, knowing all this, do you think mushrooms could still be a good experience for a person like me? Or should some people just stay away from them?

Maybe try to do some mushrooms when you're by yourself. In your apartment (with the phone off) when you're in a decent mood.

After breakups seems like a horrible time to do them.

Don't say I got drunk at my dad's funeral and cried so now I'm done with beer.

Was there anything when you did "The Amazing Racist" that you weren't able to show from the footage? I was genuinely concerned that you would get shot at the laundromat.

Yeah. I got punched once but he ran away without signing a release.

And I got shoved against a fence and slapped around by an Amtrak employee but he was afraid of losing his job if they showed his truck or uniform so we couldn't use that either.

And then there were a bunch of people (mostly black clerks) who didn't get the joke and wouldn't sign the release.

The homeless guy and one of the Mexicans wouldn't sign either but we took a chance and used the footage anyway.

I get the feeling you kind of expected Inappropriate Comedy to fail. Is that accurate to say or not so much?

Mushrooms have helped me take myself out of situations so I can analyze them with a clear mind.

Forgetting that I'm in that movie, I couldn't imagine that type of movie would break box office records. Can we just say that.

Is Joe Rogan the same in real life as he is on the podcast? He seems like a pretty chill, knowledgable dude.

P.S. you're pretty cool too.

He's dreamier in real life.

Fuck Marry Kill any female comedians.

No marry. Fuck a few, kill a few. How come "continue to ignore" is never an option on these things.

Do you own 1 pair or 100 of the same pair of gray skinny jeans you wear in every stand-up?

And is your moving to NY going to be the end of This Is Not Happening Presents...at the Improv? I STILL NEVER WON A FUCKING SIGNED POSTER!!!

Thanks for being so rad Ari, you freaky-skinny-constantly-masturbating-King-of-the-Jews!

April 9th are the next 2. At Cheetah's. And the last ones before at least November. They're taping them for Comedy Central digital. Invite a bunch of friends and make sure you're there. 7:30 and 9:30 shows.

What is the most touching moment of White Men Can't Jump to you?

It must be the luck of the Irish, but I'm not Irish so go figure.