IAMA former live-in nanny for an obscenely rich family, AMA.

Nice try Fran.

Awww...Mr. Sheffield

If the kids got up in the night, did they come to your or their parents? Were you responsible for the middle of the night things? I know you said the younger ones were 2, but with potty training, accidents, etc., I know they wake up.

My bedroom was on the second floor, just down the hall from the children's bedrooms, and mom and dad slept downstairs. The baby monitor was also in my room, so 90% of the time I handled it when they got up in the middle of the night. Many mornings I woke up and had all three kids in my bed.

Was sex with the husband/father good?

Ask his wife

Got it. Sorry for the confusion. How was sex with the wife?

Oh, man. She was dynamite.

Is this What I think it is!

It depends...is it?

What's the worst first world problem thing you've seen?

The mother was constantly flitting from one home business to another. Selling embroidered children's clothes, turning old wine bottles into candles, Scentsy, custom handbags, you name it. She was constantly hosting these trunk shows and parties, at her house and at other venues.

One afternoon, she called me four times in a row while I was in school, and I stepped out of class to answer assuming it was an emergency. She was flying off the handle because her friend had forgotten to buy flowers for whatever inane party she was having that afternoon. So I swallowed my rage and said I would stop at Kroger and buy flowers.

"Oh, God. Kroger flowers? Absolutely not."

"What then, ma'am?"

"You have to get them from --some random boutique local florist---"

Sigh "Okay"

I go to said florist, bring home what I considered a very beautiful set of flowers.

This woman literally BREAKS DOWN IN TEARS because I got the wrong flowers. I had to go upstairs and play with the jack-in-the-box with her two-year-old to calm the fuck down.

Good Old Georgia. I'm pretty sure you live in the Fulton Area now. :D

This was actually in Tennessee outside of Nashville, but I do live in Atlanta now!

How often would the parents spend time with the children? What was the mothers occupation? How did the parents treat you as a staff member?

The dad worked in shifts that where generally 24 hours on, 24 hours off. He was a genuinely good guy, very down to earth, and you could tell that he would have liked to spend a lot more time with his kids, but it didn't happen as often as he wanted.

As I mentioned in another comment, the mother didn't really have a set occupation other than brief infatuations with businesses. Avon, custom jewelry, embroidered handbags, custom tupperware. Shit like that. She wasn't in the house very often, and when she was, she was "busy."

The parents almost treated me like an older teenage daughter. They knew my parents pretty well, and I really never felt like a staff, more like one of their kids who happened to be solely in charge of taking care of their younger kids.

I saw you had the first world problem thing with the mom, but what was the most first world problem moment with the spoiled daughter?

She had been going absolutely ape-shit leading up to Christmas over this dollhouse she wanted. It was in a catalog, no plastic Barbie stuff for her, and she pored over the thing constantly. Christmas came and went and she got the dollhouse, which was made of real wood, had faux carpet in some of the rooms, and real wood furniture. It was beautiful, like a tiny Victorian house in the playroom.

About February of that year she started coloring on the wood with crayons. Real subtle at first and then broad swatches of the exterior of the house would be different colors. I tried to clean it off and tell her not to do it again, I knew how expensive it was, but she enjoyed coloring the house. By April, the outside of the house looked really shitty, repeated colorings and my repeated attempts to clean it.

Fast forward to the end of April, I'm changing one of the younger kids and I hear this absolutely horrific crash. Like, I thought someone was breaking into the house. Turns out, she had pushed this stunning dollhouse down the stairs, shattering it to pieces. And she had this completely serene look on her face the whole time. It took me almost an hour to get all of the wood shards and pieces off the floor, and at the end of it when I scolded her, her only answer was "I didn't like it anymore."

So instead of giving it away to someone who wanted it more, she threw it down the stairs. Makes sense.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and venture that she wasn't thinking about anyone else...ever.

What was the reaction of the parents to the situation (if there was a reaction)?

The mother shrugged and said she wouldn't get dessert for a week (reminded me of Lindsay Bluth yelling "I punish thee!") which wore off after a day. The little girl then started talking about some other toy she wanted, and from what I know, another dollhouse was never had.

Nothing like a fixer upper dollhouse. You could flip that real quick for easy money.

You should have seen it flip down the stairs. I'm almost sad I missed it.

I'm not sure if it's your occupation or choice of diction, but I'm totally reading all your posts in an uptight British accent, akin to Mary Poppins. Just thought you should know.

Bahahahaha!! Try reading it in a Canadian accent. That's what I am

Did you stop working for them because of your auditing job, or did you quit on your own before then? Did the parents ever give you fancy gifts or anything out of the ordinary (if you don't mind me asking)?

I quit when I moved out of town for college. They knew it was coming and they had a replacement lined up.

Probably the nicest thing was getting to go on vacation with them. We were in resorts that my poor ass would probably never have seen the inside of, and I had access to all the amenities and such. Of course, I was there to watch the kids, but it was still nice.

Do you miss those kids?

Yes, less now but initially I did. It was surreal to go to the grocery store alone and have an evening alone. I kept the tv on just for the background noise for a few months.

I must ask, did you think or did it bother you that the only reason you were brought along was so that the parents could take the "luxury" of not having to deal with their own progeny?

Or did you feel that they brought you along as a sort of bonus or reward?

Both. They could have left the kids at home with me and go on vacation, which they had done before, but at least twice a year they took me along.

What's "obscenely" rich in your book?

In excess of $500k per year

I didn't realize that was obscenely wealthy, I was thinking "scrooge mcduck"

Well, for me it was obscenely wealthy. As in, their house could have literally fit seven of the house I grew up in and they had five cars...for two drivers.

Were they new money or old money? Also were the older kids spoiled and do you think the younger ones will one day become like this?

The father was a trauma neurosurgeon. They were Canadian, and from what I understand, both of their parents were moderately wealthy. But it was self-made, mostly.

How much did you make? Salary or hourly? Do you miss it?

Salary. Abt 19k when I started, 22k when I left.

Sometimes, yes. It was sometimes a really easy job, like after they had gone to bed and I was reading a book downstairs and eating frozen yogurt and technically on the clock. And other times it was really hard, like realizing that despite all the love and time and effort you put into these little kids, you will ultimately never get credit for how they turn out.

20k and little to no living expenses? I hope you banked most of it.

Totally. I payed for most of college that way. Escaped with only $12,000 in loans for five years of school.

WTF? I was paying 28.5k a year for mine.

I wasn't a professional by any means and really only got the job because my parents knew them.

Hrm. That would have been a plus. I hate interviewing nannies. I always suspect they are going to smother my kids. We've had the same one for a few years now, although she has been part-time since we are home all the time now.

Oh, and after spending too many years in the corporate world, your username is making my eye twitch.

I will admit, there have been times I WANTED to smother a kid, but I wouldn't even entertain the thought of actually doing it.

I like to read IFRS when it gets late...

The second thing you just said is the worse of the two.

Agreed.

how did you master the art of using a umbrella as a parachute?

Dude, let me tell you. It's all in the forearm. And your shoulder really hurts after a while so shrugs are a must. Cling and press and deadlifts also.

My wife was up until very recently the nanny for a legitimately obscenely wealthy family (read family assets in excess of $1B USD) and had been for a little over 6 years. We would be considered good friends of theirs despite being in a substantially different socioeconomic group (our combined incomes are circa $120k). They are one of the nicest families we know and their children are exceptionally well mannered and socially adjusted despite knowing their social position.

I think you may have just worked for a bunch of Jerks. Would you ever do it again with another family?

Okay you win on the obscene front.

I like auditing people and doing their taxes better... :D

Were the kids spoiled? If so how?

The older child definitely was. She had absolutely no respect for her toys and things, it was very obvious that her mindset was she could always get another one if something happened to what she currently had.

After her was a set of twins. I began nannying when they were two years old, and the older child was already six. The younger two were sweeter and less spoiled, probably because they had to share and the older child had really never been exposed to it until her siblings came along. Both parents were very much out of the picture, and I sort of like to think I had a hand in normalizing the younger two.

Was the mom old when she had the twins?

Her age was...indeterminate...

I did some dog walking for a fairly wealthy family myself. They had, amongst other things, a pool complete with a waterfall made out of nice stone slabs and a water pump, a lounge with a grand piano, their own live-in nanny, and more. It was pretty off-setting.

Felt bad for the nanny too. They went through three in my time walking for them. (We're talking one every few months.)

One of their kids was adopted from China as an abondoned girl. She was the worst of them. You'd think you'd get some perspective hearing: "Yeah, you'd be dead in a ditch or in a god awful orphanage in rural China right now, but instead you're lavished with all this shit in our house."

No such luck.

She even threatened to lie to her parents to get the nanny fired for refusing her something once. She quit next week of her own accord.

Yeesh, mine weren't that bad. She sounds like a peach

no trying to one up you but I was a full time nanny for a celebrity couple in LA. Where were you a nanny? I am always curious to see how much nannies in other cities make... I think LA, NY and London the salaries are the highest. I am just interested because I want to travel and be a nanny again but with the great pay in LA its hard to leave...

I was a nanny in Franklin, TN, just south of Nashville. It's sort of the Beverly Hills of country music. I was doing decent I think, it ended up being about 19K a year when I started and close to 22K a year. I lived with them so they didn't do hourly. And they paid any medical bills I had!

I don't know if you mind, but I just looked at some of your answers and can already tell his wife's short-term occupations, his occupation (rather rare position) and now their location.

Just wanted you to watch out if you don't want people to find out who you're talking about/watch what you're saying about them if you don't mind people knowing.

Also, you sound like a great nanny.

I have changed a few absolute facts, but the basics are still the same :) good thinking tho!

So after doing this, do you think being raised rich is good for kids? They had everything taken care of, so they never had medical problems they couldn't treat (or what have you), but as far as human beings, what's your take?

I really think it depends. I've known families that were rich that gave their children everything they needed, but didn't always give them everything they WANTED, they had to work for that. Contrast that with children who get both whenever they want, and they never learn the value of what they have.

Thanks for the answer, thanks for doing an AMA

Welcome...and I hope that badger gets better...

Did you enjoy it?

Sometimes, yes. The kids were decent, the older one was a complete shit but the younger ones were really sweet. It was a lot of responsibility at the time and it made me think really differently about having kids, but overall, yes, I enjoyed it.

So how do you feel about having kids?

Definitely not for a very long time. After you've been in the day to day grit of actually taking care of them, it really makes you think. Especially going from 0-3 overnight.

What features did the mansion have?

Too many rooms and insanely high shag carpet. Cinema. Indoor and outdoor pool. Two playrooms. Each kid had a bedroom, I had a bedroom, two spare rooms. Gym. Guest house behind the main house. Five car garage.

This entire thread has made me respect you. I do have a question, though. Was there anything the family owned that was just too absurd or expensive to you?

Mom had a pretty extensive wardrobe. But I would say the only thing that probably appalled me with the expense was an outdoor jungle gym that cost somewhere north of $13,000. I have absolutely NO IDEA why that damn thing was so expensive. It had two slides, monkey bars, a fireman's pole, and a seesaw. Essentially a full blown private playground in the background, but it didn't seem like it should have been that expensive to me...maybe someone else here has some insight?

Yes, backyard play structures cost a lot, way more than you think they should. Even crappy ones can cost $5,000 after installation. It's quite a racket.

I may be in the wrong business...

Well, maybe it had some type of secret contraption or Bat-Cave installed. They were filthy rich. EDIT: I capped too many letters.

OMG maybe their dad had a secret lab and that's where he was all the time...

Did your experiences influence your opinion of rich people?

Not really. My parents were upper middle class, and really, rich people are just like normal people, they just have different sets of worries.

It did really make me see the transparency of social climbing.

"transparency of social climbing?" Can you elaborate please?

You may have someone that you dislike a little bit, but when you're both wealthy, it comes out in trying to one up each other with objects, purchases, getting your kid into that exclusive ballet school. It's all out in the open, and you know that people are consciously trying to do better than you, and saying really terrible things about you.

How many lessons did you teach the children through the medium of song? Do you have a talking umbrella?

I taught them that we have to stay off the grass after the nice man comes and sprays for ticks, and paint doesn't come with us into the bathtub. That was a good song too...

No, I have a singing poncho

Was it sad to leave the kids and the parents or did you not really care? Would you consider Nannying again?

It was sad to leave the younger two, I felt like I had really invested a lot on their lives. I speak German and I had even started teaching them a little bit.

It's really surreal now to see them getting older. The oldest one has a Facebook...

Is she still as spoiled rotten as she was when you were her nanny?

I really can't tell from the pictures. I would assume?

Well, did ya steal anything?

I think I stole a package of chicken nuggets once...

Have you ever been paid a little bit more to pretend like something didn't happen?

Never. I have been paid when the kids destroyed my stuff tho.

How long did you nanny for them? and are you still a nanny? if not what do you do now?

Roughly two years. I was a nanny my last two years of college, and also working retail about 5-10 hours a week. I'm no longer a nanny, now I work as an auditor.

• How did you have time to be a nanny + retail + studying accounting? I find it difficult just studying accounting!
• Was it anything like the TV show "The Nanny" with Fran Drescher?
• Anything exciting or interesting that you had to clean?
• Favourite cleaning brands?

*I had quite a bit of time in the morning and between classes when they were in kindergarten/pre-school to study. I also had two days a week off (which, ironically, the mother hired ANOTHER nanny to come in for those days). I only worked retail on Saturday or Sunday mornings, and the job was extremely easy.

*No, not really. I sort of felt like a mother figure to the children, because they rarely saw their own mother, but they weren't capable of asking for advice or getting into the shenanigans like on the show.

*I once had to clean an ant farm that had fallen on the kitchen floor. I also had to clean Flarp (google it) from the inside of the dryer.

*Kaboom is amazing.

Flarp is one resilient substance. Source: When I was younger, my baby sister and her friend took my Flarp and ground it into the carpet.

God save whoever got that mess out of the carpet. Baked Flarp has a smell that I cannot un-smell.

Did you have any situations that the level of discipline required was more than you could administer? If so, what was it?

Thanks for the AMA.

That was generally when they started fighting with each other. They used the threat "I'm going to tell DAD!" on each other all the time. Which never really worked because he wasn't there a lot. If the fighting got really bad or if they broke something, I had to let a parent know.

Also when the older one discovered swears, I had to get mom involved.

How many Ferrari's did they own?

Lol, none actually. Their nicest car was a Porsche Cayenne for transporting children. Dad had a motorcycle, an Indian I believe.

hi, I've been thinking about studying to become an auditor. how is the pay/benefits starting off and where does it plateau?

I'm in Atlanta. Starts around 55 and plateaus at partner if you stay with the firm route

Did you feel like Jane Eyre?

Not really, as I am not an orphan and did not attend a girl's school. They may have had a ghost or two and the cleaning lady was always good for a yarn when I caught her in the right mood.

How did they want the children disciplined? Spank, scold, take away their stuff? By the sounds of it they were pretty awful kids. Did ANY discipline work?

On the younger two, yes. The older smartened up a bit when she started kindergarten and had to start interacting with other children. They weren't going to take her shit.